|
the DON JONES
INDEX… |
|||
|
|
GAINS POSTED in GREEN LOSSES POSTED in RED
3/4/24... 14,984.46
2/26/24... 15,030.11 |
||
|
6/27/13… 15,000.00 |
|||
|
(THE DOW JONES INDEX:
3/4/24... 39,131.539,087.38; 2/26/24... 39,131.53; 6/27/13… 15,000.00) |
|||
LESSON for MARCH
FOURTH, 2024:
FOR OUR FINAL WEEK OF “CRIMERICA”, WE INCLUDE (IN PURPLE)
EDITORIAL COMMENTARY by CNC BOARD MEMBER, FORMER CONGRESSMAN and INDEPENDENT
CANDIDATE FOR the PRESIDENCY: JACK PARNELL; THIS WEEK DELINEATING SOME OF HIS
PROPOSED CRIMEFIGHTING SOLUTIONS, and...
“CRIMERICA #5: – “ATTACHMENTS to the ONE CATEGORY OF CRIMINALITY
THAT HAD OUGHTA BE DELETED; and…!”
“ONE DANGEROUS and
ANNOYING UBIQUITY* as had oughta be
CRIMINALIZED!”
* “ubiquity”
– something that’s allthings and everywhere - in your
face; day and night, black and white, rich or poor, evermore...
Not the despised “rematch
from Hell” all but assured by the easy victories of Presidents Donald Trump
(2016 – 2021) and Joseph Biden (2020-?) in Iowa and New Hampshire, then
all-but-assured-again after Michigan (and definitely assured after tomorrow’s
Super Tuesday barring legal or medical
cataclysms) and with Friday night’s gumment
shutdown can-kicked a week forward so as not to disrupt the current and former
POTUSII’ march to their showdown in November, pollsters and pundits are toting
up the likes and dislikes of Americans and proclaiming that, yes, the e-con-you
is still dysfunctional... hardworking farmers and truckdrivers; factory,
warehouse and retail workers, entrepreneurs and first responders are all
getting shoved to the back of life’s line by the prices of new cars or old
clothes, hamburgers and homes, turnips and taxes... while the parasitic paper
pushers and hi-spy technopirates poach their
millions... now... their billions.
That’s bad enough – but even worse bugs buzz around the kitchen tables,
bars and highways thanks to cellular technology, even the Joneses bedrooms...
Americans are even more hot
under their hairdos by two more American phenomenon that crashed home like a
moon rocket with a broken leg last week when fire and rain wracked the nation
or a co-ed was snuffed out by an illegal Venezuelan immigrant in what police
called a “crime of opportunity” (fine term for a trifecta
rape/robbery/homicide). Crime and
climate, wildfire border, migrants. murderers and, now, murderous migrants have
taken over our streets and our sidewalks; pleading for sanctuary and then
imposing massacres and mayhem on any gullible American as tries to help them –
rather as Israeli defense forches teased the starving
Palestinians by allowing a food convoy into Gaza, then strafed the hungry
civilians with machine gun fire as they stormed the truck, killing hundreds and
enraging Detroiters so much that thirteen percent of Democrats voiced their
choice for Donald Trump by checking off Independence on their ballots...
(Apropo
this Lesson’s remarks on AI and the Dean Phillips campaign... below... the
debacle was so complete that Marianne Williamson finally beat somebody at the
polls, beaning the Deaner three to two point seven
percent. Read on for the calamity and
the chutzpah as another Independent, DJI board member and former Congressman
Jack “Catfish” Parnell tells Old White Trump and Older White Joe to shape up or
ship out!)
These are terrible things
and terrible times at the hands of terrible people, although largely confined
to the southern areas of California, Texas, New Mexico and Arizona as well as a
few so-called “sanctuary cities” where the kindhearted succor the snakes and are,
for their kindness, bitten... but if pollsters would only, really... like...
ask the people’s aspirational lords and rulers, stage left, they would be told
that the only immigrants they know
are the smiling Mexicans who mow their lawns and blow away their snow, the
from-India Indians who work the registers at gas stations, the Asians peddling
motor vehibles and wontons, Jamaicans in jerk joints
selling jerk to Yankee jerks whilst humming Bob Marley tunes, Arabs who’d
rather sell rugs or falafel than strap on suicide vests...
And more, even the
white-as-snow Euros before their designer dances on U.S.A. finances turn slushy
and grimy...
These all... the migrants,
the self-designated “natives” (of mostly European or African descent) and the actual Native Americans (or
not-from-India Indians) one and the same and being driven out of their mind by
a cellular cloud of sham-licensed, scam-happy spam-oozing swarm of biting and
stinging technopredators...
We’re not necessarily
talking about Nicaraguans: worse, even than Venezuelans; the Joneses are
victims of toxic technoxiousty... the robocallers and telemarketers, spoofing their way into
infamy...
“Spoofing” (def.):
exploiting dark intelligences
to customize your callback number away to Birdland so that angry,
cheated customers can’t hunt you down and stomp your ass...
Over here and over there;
in your hair and everywhere – lurking in crypts and reading scripts that go:
“Hello, I’m ArchibaldAuroraAsomodeo and do you pay
attention to your garagedoorheatingbillskincondition
– why, if not, let me tell you about our new, amazing offer...”
As Tom Waits wheedles:
“Step Right Up!” (See lyrics, Attachment
One)
Last lesson, we addressed
the pills and potions and panaceas, the prostitutes or pokerhands
that might make hard lives more tolerable, or not (at a risk of year and years
of incarceration, ODs, bankruptcies and burning sensations in Don Jones’
Netherlands) – this week, we re-hire all those policemen and prison guards and
prosecutors, re-fill all those empty prison cells (or the gumment
treasuries with fines and confiscations) and, in general, set America, perhaps
the world, back on the right path again; but in the direction of bipartisan
truths, justice and American ways in defense of Democracy, not just for
Democrats or Republicans.
We’re talking what Rep.
Parnell calls his Job Number One, should he upset the nursing home twins...
trashing the telemarketers, routing the robocallers
and send the spoofing community back to Oompa-Loompa land (the Scottish version
– see Leap Day index above and Attachment Two) whereafter the Peanuts of the
World rise from their Martian ghett9s, crack loose out of their shells and
raise hell with the teleflies buzzing into and
through the bughouse.
There’s an unusually
prescient jawbreaker inhabiting Reddit’s cozy gallery (Attachment Three) as
alleges that not only should telemarketing be banned, prohibition would work to
the benefit of the merchers inasmuch as first,
contends Delta One peanut, “Telemarketing is not relevant.” Don Jones is
already inundated with multiple forms of advertising and the annoying
solicitations may actually turn his sentiments against the sponsor and, secondly, so many scammers are on the
prowl that Americans (with the exception of a population of enough... often
elderly... patsies whose delusional mindsets harken back to days when truth
mattered) regard any intrusive solicitation as a scam, even if the
beneficiaries are really crippled children, local police and another of those
uber-generous Nigerian princes.
Peanut galleries
X51
Quora
(which is, in fact, just one ginormous peanut patch) expostulates upon the
topic – some of its posters exposing, others excoriating the loathsome tribe...
the majority of whom believe the malefactors be incarderated...
Some
invoke a quaint sense of honour @examples
: others
X52
Quora
being an open forum, a few dissenting voices are given voice amidst the
majority of the forum contending that the spoofers, telemarketers and robocollers should be, at best, promptly hung-up on, incarcerated
or... in a few worst case posts... be subject to the sort of punishments more
readily associated with Sharia law...
@ fold in
examples, and pro TM
X57
Kixie,
a site that advises the good, the bad and the ugly alike as to the laws
governing telemarketers, weak and weakly enforced as they may be, presents a
vista, scanning through a wilderness of litigatory contingencies that @
(Attachment Five)
@laws
Legal
or not, Americans hate telemarketers.
Really really hate them. In fact, another
Peanut Gallery provocateur from another
Quora forum... essentially a whole box of Cracker Jax without the popcorn...
asked included proposals of a more draconian mien, to wit...
“Can I threaten to kill an unsolicited phone telemarketer?”
...to which another Quoran responded: More
importantly, is it a crime
to actually track them down and kill them? Illegal, sure, but is it actually
a crime?
X55
Short
of murder, other media... often of a legal bent... bend the law by explaining
that, short of homicide, aggrieved Americans can
@begin
X53
sue them x61dupe
X54
call the cops
Who are the cops? X74
X57
study the enemy - kixie
First
amendment protects telemarketers – but not spoofers...
X61
spoofing law
With
plenty of Federal regulations (but minmal
enforcement) aggrieved Americans are turning to their state and local
governments...
In
texas x62
In
new jersey x56
Telemarketer
advantage
@ foreign
callers x72
@ machines
(how can you lock up a machine?) x86
Robocallers...
The
law and officials
X73
X72
fight back quora
The
new threat – ai and biden
X76
X78
X77
X79
The weekend:
X82
Catfish wrap up
Crime sex, drugs, gambling
(not rock and roll but betting on grammys, Oscars etc @get
X 93
X 92
X 91
X81
Telemarketing
|
Our
Lesson: February Twenty Sixth through March Third, 2024 |
|
|
|
Monday, February 26, 2024 Dow: 39,069.23 |
A battered and bruised old Saint Nikki loses New Hampshire by twenty
points (but does cover the spread of 30) and vows to fight on, doing what
Saint Ron and Chris Christie said they’d do... hang around to prick and irk Djonald UnDefeated (for 2024,
so far) and maintain their profiles as backup candidates (if not Veeps). But she loses her Koch dark
money as MAGA kicks the GOP/RNC chair out from under Ronna McDonna and Trump replaces her with Eric’s wife (maybe a
better choice than Don Junior’s) while President Joe deals with the daily
dailiness in Ukraine, Gaza, Yemen, Wall Street, Congress and kitchen tables
from Malibu to Miami where... as also continues... the flooding, landslide,
blizzards and, from Amarillo to Zelienople, record heat as reaches 94° in
Dallas, 98° in Laredo and generating ferocious wildfires. There are talking tongues
talking all around – hostage swaps, budget deals, humanitarian ventures (all
of which come to nothing) and plenty of legal fustiness over SCOTUS tackling
social media and Trumptastic immunity, all of Ol’
45’s civil and criminal cases (with Fani enscandaled the next trial will be Stormy’s!). The fanatics are getting fanatical, a
quiet, white sailor sets himself on fire to protest Israeli treatment of
starving Gazans, tired Congressthings return from
their vacations to be assured by Chairman Mike that he will never... never!... kick the shutdown can down
the road again and lunar probe Odi falls over,
breaks a leg and starts losing power which, with no doctors on the moon, will
kill him/it by the end of the week. A ray of sunshine amidst the
moonshine... wealthy widow Dr. Ruth Gottesman donates a cool Billion to pay
the tuition of ecstatic students at the Einstein Medical College in
Gotham. Goddam! |
|
|
Tuesday, February 27, 2024 Dow:
38,972.41 |
The record heat/cold roller
coaster begins turning cold in the Midwest where St. Louis (86° today) will
sink to 26° on Wednesday while the flames continue scorching the Texas
panhandle northeast of Amarillo (and cause panic at a nuclear facility
there). But no nukes explode and,
astonishingly, there are no fatalities. A new version of the War on Drugs is
launched by a cyberhacker army called Black Cat that shuts down pharmacies
and insurance companies, ensuring that sick people won’t get their
medications and, so, die. Alabama’s ruling that fetuses are people
and harming or destroying them is murder has
Democrats scrambling for cover and President Joe, campaigning down at
the border near (but not with) Trump, dispatches HHS Becerra to lobby the
legislators not to lock up infertile wannabe mommies as obstetricians flee
the state. Cutbacks and bankruptcies
explode in retail (Macy’s closing stores, victim of online sales), fast food
(Outback steakhouse signs off G’day and G’bye, mates), even faster food (Wendy’s fights slumping
sales by raising prices) while mergers and acquisitions (grocers Kroger and
Albertson, bankcarders Capitol One and Discover) further squeeze consumer choices while enriching
the billionaire investor class at the expense of the public. Mediots
interview idiots who stand in line for hour to by Stanley Cups (designer thermosii, not hockey trophies or pay $1,200 to online gougers
even though they know that the giant goblets are contaminated with lethal
layers of lead. |
|
|
Wednesday, February 28, 2024 Dow:
38,947.02 |
Trump and Biden steamroller
through Michigan to Texas, but experts
have to strain to maintain their expertise and do so by disclosing that the Hamasant Arabs of Detroit reject President Joe’s defense
of Israel while the shrinking Haley diehards promise to switch parties in a
key, evenly divided state.
Controversy! Biden hurries back from Brownsville to
lead meetings with leaders of House and Senate factions... the gathering
turns into a near-lynching of Johnson, who looks for Djonald
UnPresent to hide behind... and he’s not there,
hanging out in Eagle Pass and blaming Joe for the UGA migrant murder. Even Mitch Mac piles on, but then says he’s
retiring (he’s a year older than Joseph).
Eventually, Speaker J. agrees to a one week can kick, infuriating The
Donald and MAGAmenbers start drafting plans for
Johnson’s removal and, with the economy, democracy and the infrastructure
collapsing, pivot back to Job One: investigating Hunter Biden (even though
Smirnoff’s vodka been exposed as water). More bad news: Family Dollar fined because
its warehouses are full of rats. And
some good... Willie Nelson announces his new tour with Bob Dylan. Also on hand... John “Cougar” Mellankamp... Did we mention the SAG awards? We didn’t? Well, “Oppenheimer” beat “Barbie”. Again! |
|
|
Thursday, February 29, 2024 Dow:
38,996.39 |
It’s Leap Day. Leapin’ lizards
Trump and Biden savor victories in Michigan... Marianne Williamson, who’d
dropped out of the race scores an upset win (over Krafty
Dean Phillips, 3% to 2.7%!) and drops
back in again. Another reason for Djonald to be djelighted comes
as SCOTUS agrees to hear his arguments that Presidents enjoy lifetime
immunity, which will djelay his two Jack Smith
trials, probably until after November.
With Fani teetering on the edge, it’s likely
all up to Stormy! Also leaping are the flames in Texas as
wildfires have now burned an area the size of Rhode Island – which enjoys
record heat, like the rest of the East, followed by record blizzards, then
heat again/ Fast food fail for Wendy’s which tries out
a novel scheme to make more money... raise prices. They’ll backtrack at the end of the
week. No backtracking for a dismal
Willy Wonka Chocolate Experience in Scotland where kids pay $45 to wander an
empty warehouse and scowl at bad actors glum over not getting paid. No chocolate, but each kid gets two
jellybeans. Critics compare the place
to a meth lab – and speaking of drugs in Scotland, the fortunate can share a
boat ride with the daughter of druglord “El Chapo”
and look for the Loch Ness Monster. No
monster. No lizards either cuz it’s also Natl. Rare Disease Day. |
|
|
Friday, March 1, 2024 Dow:
39,082.38 |
Both likely Presidential candidates visit Texas, but stay far from the
wildfires as stampeding cattle add to the terror... and away from each
other. President Joe goes to
Brownsville at the southeast tip and blames Trump for telling Congress to
kill the Republican drafted border security bill, as Trump tours Eagle Pass
in the southwest promising mass deportations and carnage. The actual carnage occurs in
Gaza where starving mobs attack relief convoys and Israeli troops machine gun
hundreds, killing 112, blaming the deaths on “stampedes” – not of cattle but
of starving children. Among the dead,
any hope of a hostage/cease fire deal before Ramadan, A tense funeral service
occurs in Moscow where Putin critic Alexei Navalny is buried – with thousands
of mourners facing off against Putin’s cops, but little violence. In the courts, Elon Musk sues
Sam Altman for tricky techy stuff, paramedic gets five years for giving an
overdose of ketamine to another black man being strangled by cops, love
triangle murder ends in conviction, “Rust” armorer trial for Alec Baldwin
murder begins, Venezuelan illegal locked up for killing the UGA co-ed,
neighbors rat out man who murdered an Amish girl and Fani
Wallis denies her affair with prosecutor will spoil Trump’s trial. Just delay it. |
|
|
Saturday, February 24, 2024 Dow: Closed |
Pro-Israeli President Biden getting a headache over so many voters in
Detroit... some Muslim, others not... voting “Uncommitted” in Michigan
primary. He orders American planes to
overfly Gaza and drop MREs to the starving, but critics on his left and right
both call the gesture useless propaganda, worsened by Hamas and criminal
gangs stealing and reselling all the food.
Advisers suggest that he dock UN Navy ships off the coast and make
relief a little more orderly; The Navy is still dealing
with Houthi rebels in Yemen who sink a ship carrying fertilizer from Belize,
further polluting the Red Sea. Trains fall over bridges in
Louisville, where conductor is rescued from the dangling engine, and in
Pennsylvania, where several freight cars dangle above a river. Planes nearly collide and windshields blow
out – more trouble for Boeing. And gas
prices for automobiles expected to rise as producers switch to the more
expensive “summer blens”. Speaker Johnson is able to
delay the government shutdown but only for a week as Republicans in the
Senate start jiving and conniving to replace Mitch Mac as minority leader. |
|
|
Sunday, March 3rd, 2024 Dow: Closed |
With two days to Tuesday and sixteen primaries, Donald Trump is
already trumpeting his victory and dissing President Joe, Nikki Haley and the
rest of the political cacaverse – most especially
within his own party. “We are getting
rid of the Romneys of the world,” he crows, no doubt including Sens.
Murkowski and Collins, who endorse Haley, for what it’s worth. The New York Times pollsters say he beats
Old Sick Joe by five points (but Haley wins by ten). Politico’s Jonathan Martin says Haley is
the real winner... if Biden wins, she gets to say “I told you so!” and if
Trump wins, she gets... a job? Fat
chance! Electoral crystalballing
dominates the Sunday talkshows. Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Ct) says Speaker Mike
killed his own bill to make Biden’s border policy fail, which is sort of
like... uh... treason? Sen. Mike
Rounds (R-SD), a probable Romneyite who offers nice
funeral words for Mitch Mac, nonetheless says he’ll endorse Trump, but hopes
he’ll focus on kitchen table issues, not old grievances. Fatter chance! Two other winners are basket
(not crystal) ballers Lebron James (NBA scoring record), and Iowa’s Caitlin
Clark who now leads the men’s and
women’s NCAA, topping former leader Pistol Pete Maravich. The week ends as it began...
bomb cyclones on the West Coast, roller coaster temperatures, inflation,
crime, disease and war. Oxfam says
Biden’s MRE drop over Gaza should cease as it’s only a scam for Americans not
to feel guilty about their ignorance and impotence; celebrity chef Jose Andres
replies that Oxfam has “too much time on their hands.” |
|
|
I@ |
|
|
|
CHART of CATEGORIES
w/VALUE ADDED to EQUAL BASELINE of 15,000 (REFLECTING…
approximately… DOW JONES INDEX of June 27, 2013) Negative/harmful
indices in RED. See a further explanation of categories here… |
|
ECONOMIC INDICES
|
(60%) |
|||||||
|
CATEGORY |
VALUE |
BASE |
RESULTS by PCTG. |
SCORE |
OUR SOURCES and COMMENTS |
|||
|
INCOME |
(24%) |
6/17/13 [revsd.
1/1/22 |
LAST |
CHANGE |
NEXT |
LAST WEEK |
THIS WEEK |
RESULTS by STATISTIC. |
|
Wages (hrly.
Per cap) |
9% |
1350 points |
2/26/24 |
+0.82% |
3/24 |
1,495.34 |
1,495.34 |
|
|
Median Inc. (yearly) |
4% |
600 |
2/26/24 |
+0.028% |
3/11/24 |
668.06 |
668.25 |
http://www.usdebtclock.org/
39,383 393 404 |
|
Unempl. (BLS – in mi) |
4% |
600 |
2/26/24 |
-5.41% |
3/24 |
616.55 |
616.55 |
|
|
Official (DC – in
mi) |
2% |
300 |
2/26/24 |
+2.83% |
3/11/24 |
249.21 |
256.26 |
http://www.usdebtclock.org/
6,396 405 229 |
|
Unofficl. (DC – in mi) |
2% |
300 |
2/26/24 |
-14.53% |
3/11/24 |
283.31 |
242.15 |
http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 11,686
684 3,670@ |
|
Workforce Participation Number Percent |
2% |
300 |
2/26/24 |
-0.85% -0.53% |
3/11/24 |
303.73 |
302.13 |
In 162,764 796 1,410 Out
100,754 766 310 Total: 262,518 562 1,720 |
|
WP % (ycharts)* |
1% |
150 |
2/26/24 |
-0.48% |
3/24 |
150.95 |
150.95 |
https://ycharts.com/indicators/labor_force_participation_rate 62.50
NC |
|
OUTGO |
(15%) |
|||||||
|
Total Inflation |
7% |
1050 |
1/24 |
+0.3% |
2/24 |
970.22 |
970.22 |
http://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm +0.3
nc |
|
Food |
2% |
300 |
1/24 |
+0.4% |
2/24 |
274.07 |
274.07 |
http://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm +0.4 |
|
Gasoline |
2% |
300 |
1/24 |
-3.3% |
2/24 |
246.55 |
246.55 |
http://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm -3.3 |
|
Medical Costs |
2% |
300 |
1/24 |
+0.7% |
2/24 |
291.95 |
291.95 |
http://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm
+0.7 |
|
Shelter |
2% |
300 |
1/24 |
+0.6% |
2/24 |
267.85 |
267.85 |
http://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm
+0.6 |
|
WEALTH |
||||||||
|
Dow Jones Index |
2% |
300 |
2/26/24 |
-0.16% |
3/11/24 |
323.32 |
327.17 322.79 |
https://www.wsj.com/market-data/quotes/index/ 39.151.33 9,087.38 |
|
Home (Sales) (Valuation) |
1% 1% |
150 150 |
2/26/24 |
+5.82% -0.96% |
2/24 |
129.80 273.38 |
129.80 273.38 |
https://www.nar.realtor/research-and-statistics nc Sales (M): 3.78 4.00 Valuations (K): 382.6 379.1 |
|
Debt (Personal) |
2% |
300 |
2/26/24 |
+0.25% |
3/11/24 |
268.05 |
268.73 |
http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 75,515
549 358 |
|
GOVERNMENT |
(10%) |
|||||||
|
Revenue (trilns.) |
2% |
300 |
2/26/24 |
+0.23% |
3/11/24 |
397.80 |
398.71 |
debtclock.org/
4,669 679 690 |
|
Expenditures (tr.) |
2% |
300 |
2/26/24 |
-0.23% |
3/11/24 |
318.76 |
319.59 |
debtclock.org/ 6,671
448 463 |
|
National Debt tr.) |
3% |
450 |
2/26/24 |
+0.40% |
3/11/24 |
392.12 |
390.56 |
http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 34,437
343 480 |
|
Aggregate Debt
(tr.) |
3% |
450 |
2/26/24 |
+0.002% |
3/11/24 |
406.76 |
406.75 |
http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 97,695
733 735 |
|
TRADE |
(5%) |
|||||||
|
Foreign Debt (tr.) |
2% |
300 |
2/26/24 |
+3.04% |
3/11/24 |
310.34 |
300.90 |
http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 7,933
941 8,190 |
|
Exports (in billions) |
1% |
150 |
2/26/24 |
+1.77% |
3/24 |
160.36 |
160.36 |
https://www.census.gov/foreign-trade/current/index.html 258.2 @NC REDO |
|
Imports (in
billions)) |
1% |
150 |
2/26/24 |
-1.09% |
3/24 |
170.97 |
170.97 |
https://www.census.gov/foreign-trade/current/index.html 320.4 |
|
Trade Surplus/Deficit (blns.) |
1% |
150 |
2/12/24 |
+1.61%
|
3/24 |
337.91 |
337.91 |
https://www.census.gov/foreign-trade/current/index.html 62.2 |
|
SOCIAL INDICES
|
(40%) |
|||||||
|
ACTS of MAN |
(12%) |
|||||||
|
World Affairs |
3% |
450 |
2/26/24 |
nc |
3/11/24 |
451.19 |
451.19 |
Navalny
funeral draws crowds... with his own re-election coming up, Putin craftily
decides to let it go on rather than massacre the mourners and win maybe 95%
of the vote instead of 99%. A few
arrests, no major riots. Haitian
prison stormed, thousands of convicts escape. |
|
War and terrorism |
2% |
300 |
2/26/24 |
-0.1% |
3/11/24 |
292.76 |
292.47 |
Wars rage
on – Gaza, Ukrain, Yemen etc. Humanitarians weep and plead but all of the
parties seem to be enjoying themselves and critics on their couches blame
whoever for whatever |
|
Politics |
3% |
450 |
2/26/24 |
-0.2% |
3/11/24 |
477.63 |
476.67 |
Going into
Super Tuesday, Trump leads Nikki by 60%.
Support for Israel costs Biden pro-Hamas votes in Michigan. In a country aflame, Congress steps up an
devotes 7 (seven!) hours to...
questioning Hunter Biden |
|
Economics |
3% |
450 |
2/26/24 |
nc |
3/11/24 |
445.94 |
445.94 |
G’day for
Outback Steakhouses, G’bye to Macy’s. Connecticut mobilizes Yale students to
build more homes for homeless teachers. |
|
Crime |
1% |
150 |
2/26/24 |
-0.3% |
3/11/24 |
239.92 |
239.20 |
Liberal
students pivot right after illegal alien kills co-ed. Neighbor kills Amish woman... caught
because he drove a red truck where only horse and buggies travel. Estimated 500 gangstas
shoot it out with police at Six Flags amusement park near Atlanta. |
|
ACTS of GOD |
(6%) |
|||||||
|
Environment/Weather |
3% |
450 |
2/26/24 |
-0.2% |
3/11/24 |
388.74 |
387.96 |
Bouncy bouncy weather – wet/dry, hot/cold, pleasant... help! as
wildfires ravage Texas, tornados hit Chicago, California blizzards in
mountains, landslides on the coast.
Fertilizer ship sunk by Houthis will pollute the Red Sea. |
|
Disasters |
3% |
450 |
2/26/24 |
+0.6% |
3/11/24 |
419.58 |
422,19 |
Train and
truck crashes off bridges but there are no fatalities... hero cop is
acclaimed for saving driver of dangling big rig. Several other first responders rescue
freezing kids from woods, toasty Texans from wildfires, and pull numerous
stranded drivers from cars in California.
Florida deputy saves little Lola from car crash fire. |
|
LIFESTYLE/JUSTICE INDEX |
(15%) |
|||||||
|
Science, Tech, Educ. |
4% |
600 |
2/26/24 |
+0.2% |
3/11/24 |
630.86 |
632.12 |
AT&T
will reimburse victims of phone outage... about $5 each. Lunar probe Odi
falls over on its side, breaks a leg and dies. Scientists tackle an old question: “What
caused human beings to lose their tails?”
Dr. Seuss estate celebrates 120th birthday by donating 10K
copies of “Cat in the Hat” to needy children. |
|
Equality (econ/social) |
4% |
600 |
2/26/24 |
-0.1% |
3/11/24 |
644.29 |
643.65 |
University
of Florida purges all diversity ptograms, fires
teachers (on orders from Saint Ron).
NAACP and Kamala celebrate/remember 59th anniversary of
Selma “Bloody Sunday” march across the Pettis Bridge. Anti-migrant bills surge after UGA murder
(above) and the partisan political posturing. |
|
Health |
4% |
600 |
2/26/24 |
-0.2% |
3/11/24 |
468.21 |
467.27 |
Pope Frank
hospitalized for flu; Cardinals say he looks “weary”. Insurance Industry for Highway Satety (IIHS) publishes its list of safe and unsafe cars. The best
are all foreign, the worst described as “American muscle cars with high
horsepower and a hot rod image” (although the absolute deathtrap is the
Mitsubishi Marage).
Duet Healthcare says 38M American home caregivers save taxpayers $600B
in nursing home fees. Unsterile eyedrops
and ointments recalled. Alabama’s
frozen embryo wars have politicians, partisans scrambling and stumbling. Don Jones may add Norovirus to the list of
dangerous diseases, along with COVID, flu, RSV and the Measles. |
|
Freedom and Justice |
3% |
450 |
2/26/24 |
+0.1% |
3/11/24 |
467.27 |
467.74 |
NRA boss
LaPierre convicted of fraud. Eagles
and collectors battle over handwritten lyrics. Congress “takes it easy” on gumment shutdown, but invests seven hours investigating
Hunter Biden and then arresting him on... something. SCOTUS agrees to take on Trump’s ballot
access in Colorado and
“immunity” claims, adding to their workload of social media
Georgia businessman caught with 87.000 juvy porn
pix sentenced to... 87 months in prison.
(Do the math!) |
|
CULTURAL and MISCELLANEOUS INCIDENTS |
(6%) |
|||||||
|
Cultural Incidents |
3% |
450 |
2/26/24 |
+0.1% |
3/11/24 |
520.53 |
521.05 |
@ grabs Grammys (Attachment A2, below). Oscars next... see odds as Attachment A3,
below). Caitlin and Lebron set ballin’ records (above).
Willie Nelson to tour with Bob Dylan. RIP: “Curb” comedian Richard Lewis, 103 year old fashion icon Irene Apfel,
ESPN sportscaster Chris Mortensen. R(etire)IP: Mitchy from the
Senate and Oprah from Weight Watchers.
(She’s gone on the drugs.) |
|
Misc. Incidents |
3% |
450 |
2/26/24 |
-0.3% |
3/11/24 |
509.51 |
507.98 |
Idiots
stand in long lines and pay up to #1,200 for “Stanley Cups”, infused with
toxic lead. Cam Newton starts a
football camp for kids, they riot and beat him up. Other idiots let children play with fish at
SeaQuest chain of aquariums – spokesman says fish
are still wild animals and wild animals are just that. “They’re wild.” Wild rats
infest Family Dollar warehouses, leading to a fine of $41m. |
The Don
Jones Index for the week of February 26th through March 3rd, 2024 was DOWN 46.11 points
The Don Jones Index is sponsored by the
Coalition for a New Consensus: retired Congressman and Independent Presidential
candidate Jack “Catfish” Parnell, Chairman; Brian Doohan, Administrator. The CNC denies, emphatically, allegations
that the organization, as well as any of its officers (including former
Congressman Parnell, environmentalist/America-Firster Austin Tillerman and
cosmetics CEO Rayna Finch) and references to Parnell’s works, “Entropy and
Renaissance” and “The Coming Kill-Off” are fictitious or, at best, mere pawns
in the web-serial “Black Helicopters” – and promise swift, effective legal
action against parties promulgating this and/or other such slanders.
Comments, complaints, donations (especially
SUPERPAC donations) always welcome at feedme@generisis.com or: speak@donjonesindex.com.
Lyrics
Step right up
Step right up
Step right up
Everyone's a winner
Bargains galore
That's right you too can be the proud owner of
The quality goes in before the name goes on
One tenth of a
dollar
One tenth of a dollar
We got service after the sale
How 'bout perfume
We got perfume
How 'bout an engagement ring
Somethin' for the little lady
Somethin' for the little lady
Somethin' for the little lady
3 for a dollar
We got a year end
clearance
We got our white sale on a smoke damaged furniture
You can drive it away today.
Act now
Act now
And receive as our
gift
Our gift to you
They come in all colors
One size fits all
No muss, no fuss, no
spills
You tired of kitchen drudgery
Everything must go
Goin' outta biz
Goin' outta biz
Goin' outta bizness sale
50% off original
retail price
Skip the middle man
Don't settle for
less
How do we do it
How do we do it
Volume! volume!
Turn up the volume!
You've heard it
advertised
Don't hesitate
Don't be caught with
your drawers down
Don't be caught with your drawers down
You just step right
up
Step right up
That's right it
fillets
It chops, it dices, it slices
It never stops
Lasts a lifetime, it mows your lawn
And it mows your
lawn
It picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair
It gets rid of embarrassing age spots
It delivers the pizza
And it lengthens
And it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's be en-lodged under the
Chaise lounge for several weeks
And it plays a mean
rhythm master
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only a dollar
Step right up
It's only a dollar
Step right up
'Cause it forges
your signature
If not completely satisfied
Mail back unused portion of product for a complete refund of price of purchase
Step right up
Please allow thirty
days for delivery
Don't be fooled by cheap imitations
You can
Live in it
Live in it
Laugh in it
Love in it
Swim in it
Sleep in it
Live in it
Swim in it
Laugh in it
Love in it
And it removes
embarrassing stains from contour sheets
That's right
And it entertains
visiting relatives
It turns a sandwich into a banquet
Tired of being the
life of the party
Change your shorts
Change your life
Change your life
Change into a 9 year old Hindu boy
Get rid of your wife
And it walks your
dog
And it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax
You can jump back jack
See ya later alligator
See ya later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your
gambling debts
It quits smoking
It's a friend, it's a companion
It's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy
assembly instructions
It never needs ironing
Well it takes
weights off hips
Bust
Thighs
Chin
Midriff
Gives you dandruff
And it finds you a
job
It is a job
And it strips the
phone company
Of free tapes and your while exchange
And it gives you
denture breath
And you know it's a friend
And it's a companion
And it gets rid of
your travellers checks
It's new, it's improved, it's old fashioned
Well it takes care of business
Never needs winding
Never needs winding
Never needs winding
Gets rid of
blackheads, heartbreak, and psoriasis
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak buddy
C'mon, c'mon.
C'mon, c'mon.
Cause it's effective
It's defective
It creates household
odors
It disinfects
It's sanitised for your protection
It gives you an erection
It wins the election
Why put up with
painful corns any longer
It's a redeemable coupon
No obligation
No salesman will visit your home
We got a jackpot
Jackpot
Jackpot
Prizes! Prizes! Prizes!
All work guaranteed
How do we do it?
How do we do it?
How do we do it?
How do we do it?
We need your bidness
We're going out of
business
We'll give you the business
Get on the business end of our
Going out of business sale
Receive our free
brochure
Free brochure
Read the easy to
follow assembly instructions
Batteries not included
Send before midnight
tomorrow
Terms available
Step right up
Step right up
Step right up
You got it buddy
The large print giveth
And the small print taketh away
Step right up
You can step right up
'Cause you can step right up
C'mon step right up
Get away from me
kid, ya bother me
Step right up
Step right up
Step right up
C'mon c'mon c'mon
C'mon c'mon
Step right up
You can step right up
C'mon and step right up
C'mon step right up
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Tom
Waits
Step Right Up lyrics
© Fifth Floor Music, Inc.