the *DON* JONES INDEX…
	GAINS POSTED in GREEN LOSSES POSTED in RED 4/3/25... 14,702.64 3/27/25... 14,707.13 6/27/13... 15,000.00
*(THE DOW* JONES INDEX: 4/3/25... 42,225.32; 3/27/25... 42,547.17; 6/27/13… 15,000.00)**

LESSON for APRIL 3rd, 2025 – “JUST APRIL FOOLS”

“Why do I do these things to make money?”

- Daffy Duck

There are holidays, and then there are other holidays... and Tuesday was one of those other holidays.

No ethnic, patriotic nor religious gathering celebrates April Fools’ Day (although the partisans and haters quickly term the congregations of rivals or enemies as such). Although beloved of and practiced by many young people of wicked disposition, schools are not closed; ministers do not shout homilies from pulpits, government workers go dutifully to their labors (unless placed on holiday of a sterner sort by DOGEy Duck).

Fewer marriages take place thereupon than on birthdays, Christmas – even Halloween. Children born of the day will live in lifelong states of pity and amusement, retails will see no boom in business (except, perhaps, for a few of the cheaper novelty aisles and shoppes). There is no official meal for the Feast of Fools – no ham, no turkey. Maybe an empty plate, wisecracked upon, then taken away – or, from the more perverse or creative cooks, something impertinent, something surprising (like a fake snake in a tin of peanuts).

Few retailers hold April Fools’ Day sales, and if they do, shoppers don’t believe them. If you can believe intellectuals, or the British (or British intellectuals), there is an exhaustive discourse on the holiday and more upon some of its related aspects in Encyclopedia Brittanica, last updated a week ago in anticipation of today, in which the Day... elsewhere referred to as the Feast of Fools and descending back to medieval times, by some, or further Feasts among the Romans. “Others have suggested that the timing of the day may be related to the vernal equinox (March 21), a time when people are fooled by sudden changes in the weather.” The article covers famous hoaxes, literary lies from Don Quixote to Jonathan Swift and Edgar Allen Poe and apps from television to the Internet and can be pursued as Attachment “A”. Dis- and mis-information, the stocks in trade of those who fool the foolish are also covered (“A”.2) as are conspiracy theories (“A”.3), propaganda (“A”.4), defenses against dismissinformation and propaganda (“Critical Thinking... “A”.5) and its corollary “Media Literacy” – “A”.6, its academic discipline “Social Psychology” (“A”.7) primary objective “Truth” (“A”.8) with its litany of “ismisms”, and an example of intersectionalism between dismissinformation, propaganda and conspiracy with April Foolishness flavorings: (“The Flat Earth Society” – “A”.9)

Although the day has been observed for centuries, its true origins are unknown and effectively unknowable. It resembles festivals such as the Hilaria of ancient Rome, held on March 25, and the Holi celebration in India, which ends on March 31.

“How did April Fools' Day start?” the Brittanica asked.

“Although the day has been observed for centuries, its true origins are unknown and effectively unknowable. It resembles festivals such as the Hilaria of ancient Rome, held on March 25, and the Holi celebration in India, which ends on March 31.”

The Brittanica is among those surmising that the modern custom originated in France, officially with the Edict of Roussillon (promulgated in August 1564), in which Charles IX decreed that the new year would no longer begin on Easter, as had been common throughout Christendom, but rather on January 1. Because Easter was a lunar and therefore moveable date, those who clung to the old ways were the “April Fools.”

“Others have suggested that the timing of the day may be related to the vernal equinox (March 21), a time when people are fooled by sudden changes in the weather.”

One might wonder that, for such a holiday fraught with history, gravitas (of a sort) and so many corollaries, there are so few culture milestones. There is some artwork, tho’ the best of it is centuries old; Hollywood, of course, produced an “April Fools” movie, differentiated from the run of the rom-coms and non-coms only by its truth in advertising... the music of the genre, (as is not whimsical or of an explicitly comedic vein as practiced by the likes of Allen Sherman or Weird Al Yankovich) tends to heel on the darker, regretful side of the street, like (Are We) “Just April Fools”, written by the iconic Bachrach/David team (ATTACHMENT ONE) and voiced, most notably, by Dionne Warwick, refraining: “Are we just April fools, Who can't see all the danger around us; If we're just April fools... I don't care, we'll find our way somehow...”

Unfortunately, American April (and other fools) tend either to inflict danger upon others, or support (with their votes and their money and their cheering) those who do.

The standard April Fools play timeworn childish pranks, some adult fraternal gatherings of fools, merry cultists and role-playing... “Batman” has his “Joker”, Superman his Mr. Mxyzptlk. Some of the animated icons of our childhoods are disturbing... “Woody Woodpecker”, for example, is a mean-spirited and cartoonishly criminal distraction; Mister Magoo makes fun of persons with visual disabilities.

On the even darker side, the holiday is about mis-information, sometimes shading into a more toxic dis-information and outright lying... Islam, for example, finds the holiday to be sinful (ATTACHMENT TWO) for the origins of the day are buried in heresies dating from back before the birth of Christ and Allah to the Romans (or even pagan Egyptians) – making its practitioners and participants infidels.

According to Mission Islam (ATTACHMENT TWO), the first mention of April Fool in the English language was in a publication known as Dreck Magazine, “reporting” that people were invited to come and watch “the washing of black people in the Tower of London” on the morning of the first day of April, 1698 CE.

'Aasim ibn 'Abd-Allaah al-Qurawayti wrote that many of us celebrate what is known as the April fool or, if it is translated literally, the "trick of April". But how much do we know of the bitter secret behind this day? According to his research, Islam was flourishing in Spain and those seeking the downfall of Islam made a careful study and concluded that it was because of the taqwa(piety) of the Muslims that Islam was so successful. So (infidels) “introduced the younger Muslim generation to wine and other intoxicants and made such evils freely and cheaply available.”

This evil tactic produced results and the faith of the Muslims began to weaken, especially among the younger generation in Spain. “The result of that was that the enemies of Islam subdued the whole of Spain and put an end to the Muslim rule of that land which had lasted for more than eight hundred years.”

Allah, The Most Wise, said, according to Abu Muhammad Yusuf of Mission Islam that the Islamic deity “guides not one who transgresses and lies," (Qur’an-40:28) and that the Curse of Allah falls upon “those who lie." (Qur’an-3:61)

Islam forbids lying even in jest and it forbids frightening a Muslim whether in seriousness or in jest, in words or in actions.

“When our Muslim Ummah is being disgraced and humiliated by the Kuffaar from East to West, how is it possible for a believer with even a minute degree of Imaan(faith) to engage in this evil custom of April Fool's Day.”

The Christian media, particularly Catholic, disagree somewhat on details of theology and theocracy, but also acknowledge the “religious roots” of the holiday. (National Catholic Reporter, 4/1/24, ATTACHMENT THREE)

The day began, Catholic Reporter’s Peggy Fletcher Stack wrote, in 1582, when Pope Gregory XIII decreed the adoption of the "Gregorian calendar" -- named after himself -- which moved New Year's Day from the end of March to Jan. 1.

“(T)hose who didn't get the message and continued to celebrate on April 1 were ridiculed” and, “because they were seen as foolish, called April Fools."

The notion of "holy fools" has a long and, writes Fletcher, “respected place in Judeo-Christian history.” Hebrew prophets were often scorned as mad or eccentric for pronouncing unwelcome or uncomfortable truths. The apostle Paul talked to the Corinthians about becoming "fools for Christ." And Eastern Orthodoxy still sees the "holy fool" as a type of Christian martyr.

Historians and fictionaries (including Victor Hugo) frequently confused April Fools with medieval Christianity's Feast of Fools, which took place each January.

For centuries, this feast was seen as "a disorderly, even transgressive Christian festival, in which reveling clergy elected a burlesque Lord of Misrule, who presided over the divine office wearing animal masks or women's clothes, sang obscene songs, swung censers that gave off foul-smelling smoke, played dice at the altar, and otherwise parodied the liturgy of the church," said historian Max Harris, author of Sacred Folly: A New History of the Feast of Fools. Afterward, revelers would "take to the streets, howling, issuing mock indulgences, hurling manure at bystanders, and staging scurrilous plays."

The Feast of Fools was finally forbidden by the Council of Basle in 1435.

Even so, contends U Catholic (ATTACHMENT FOUR) “don’t be afraid to pull some (good-natured!) pranks on your friends and family: you’d be in the company of saints! Saint Philip Neri and Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati were known to be great jokesters.”

Unless, perhaps, you live in Tehran.

A refinement of the homily that once April Fools (day) is past, (practioners) will be “the greatest fools, at last” was described by Yahoo News (ATTACHMENT FIVE) as further meaning that tricks and pranks were only to be played (and lies only to be told) before noon on April first – as the team at Slingo explains...

The idea is that you come clean for any jokes or pranks you did by midday or you’ll be referred to as the April Fool.

The team at Slingo said: “This rule has a range of theories, including the idea that the day honours the spirit of Folly, a force believed to be very powerful and perhaps dating all the way back to the Hilaria of ancient Rome... festivals celebrated towards the end of March by followers of the cult of Cybele and entailed members of the cult dressing up in disguises and mocking and pulling jokes towards citizens.

“The festival was said to be inspired by the Egyptian legends of Osiris, Isis, and Seth” and is now said to have potentially inspired April Fools’ Day as we know it today.

“Because of this, the day needs to be contained within some sort of limit to avoid outright chaos.”

April Fools celebrations have migrated from Rome to Christian continental Europe, to the British Isles and thence, America, where variant celebrations are held in several municipalities of a rather decadent persuasion.

April Fools' Day in New York City has been marked by a "satirical spectacle" of "outrageous floats and unrelenting mockery" for forty years with the annual April Fools' Day Parade where at noon, today, the parade will March along 5th Avenue from 59th Street to Washington Square Park.

“April Fools’ Day has always been a time to express our truest thoughts and feelings, wrapped in the guise of humor—just like the jesters of old who spoke truth to power," Joey Skaggs, parade founder and Chair of the New York April Fool’s Committee told Untapped New York. (March 31^st, ATTACHMENT SIX)

Each year's parade has a theme, and this year's is "A Dozen Eggs." The "eggs" in question are political figures of both parties, from Donald Trump and Kamala Harris to Elon Musk and Joe Biden. Participants can pick their favorite fool and print out a mask of their face to wear during the festivities.

A King or Queen of Fools will be crowned at the end of the parade route in Washington Square Park. The honor recognizes the person "whose audacity, ignorance, or hypocrisy reigned supreme" this year so the competition is expected to be especially fierce.

On the Left Coast, the Saint Stupid's Day Parade is an annual parade in San Francisco on April 1. It was founded by Ed Holmes (a/k/a Bishop Joey... slightly preceding Skaggs... of the First Church of the Last Laugh) in the late 1970s with the understanding that one of the unifying bonds in society is stupidity. (Wikipedia, ATTACHMENT SEVEN) If April 1 falls on a weekday, the parade starts at the foot of Market Street and follows a route through the financial district. If April 1 falls on a weekend, the parade starts at the Transamerica Pyramid, proceeds up Columbus Avenue and also ends up at a Washington Square – albeit one three thousand miles west of the park in Gotham.

The consumer website Funcheap (April 1^st, ATTACHMENT EIGHT) describes Saint Stupid as a “patron saint of Civilizations and Parking Meters.” Participants are advised to “dress like a character in Hawaii Five-0 or maybe PerWee Herman if he was in The Matrix, and bring something stupid that means something stupid to you.

“Bring pennies to toss at the Bankers Heart (a notoriously grim and granite sculpture en route) and socks for the traditional Sock Exchange.”

And for connoisseurs of the strange and the stupid, midnight on April First wheeling into Election Tuesday saw the calamitous culminations of three particularly contentious campaigns... (many, partisans of either party, calling the candidates, the campaigns and, of course, the money well worthy of a Feast of Fools).

In Wisconsin, the swing vote on the State Supreme Court like poo to flies, attracted heartless bankers, woke and unwoke jokers and verminous virtuecrats to a race as determined the state of the state upon issue from abortion to zoology; most notably the antics of cash-slinging, cheesehead donning DOGE-diner Elon Musk, whose madcap mite was estimated at upwards of twenty million – including two million checks passed out to a dynamic due of MAGAzoids who signed some sort of petition elevating Trump over God, Allah, even Seth.

And, in the Sunshine State’s “festival of foolishness and toxicity” (previewed in the Florida Phoenix, March 3^rd, ATTACHMENT NINE), the haters and the gators crawled to the polls to elect two stranger things as replacements for Trumply elevated Rep. Matt Gaetz (who failed confirmation) and Sen. Mike Waltz (now cocking up all Washington over Signalgate).

“Don’t even begin to think this year can’t possibly be worse than last year,” threatened reporter Diane Roberts.

Last year was bad enough for some Floridians. State legislators voted to bring back child labor, shoot bears, commanded all strippers be over 21 and began laying the groundwork for making Tyndall Air Force Base the future home of Starfleet Academy. Both raptured Representatives voted for the Gulf of America, brought partisan religion back to the schools and... tho’ trailing Utah in ratification… banned fluoridated water.

State Sen. Randy Fine, whom Roberts called the “combustible” candidate for Waltz’s seat, won his primary by sponsoring a “campus-carry” bill to allow students to bring guns to school to fight Muslim terror.

Wednesday’s sunrise found Fine and cohort Jimmy Patronis leading in their deep, rose garden red districts but Muskmoney was failing to push GOP judicial candidate Brad Schimel over the top in Wisconsin – “liberal Susan Crawford winning a 10-year term and retaining the 4-3 liberal Supreme Court majority” CNN reported early Wednesday morning.

President Trump? Reportedly pissed off... very, very, very pissed off.

Foreign Follies

There are variations between countries in the celebration of April Fools’ Day, but all have in common an excuse to make someone play the fool. Brittanica (Attachment “A” above) advises that, in France, for example, “the fooled person is called poisson d’avril (“April fish”), perhaps in reference to a young fish and hence to one that is easily caught; it is common for French children to pin a paper fish to the backs of unsuspecting friends. In Scotland the day is Gowkie Day or Hunt the Gowk; the gowk, or cuckoo, is a symbol of the fool. On the following day (Tailie Day) signs reading “kick me” are pinned to friends’ backs. In many countries newspapers and the other media participate—for example, with false headlines or news stories.

These are also listed in marca.com (ATTACHMENT TEN) which adds the British Isles and Oceania – adding that the recent resurgence of the holiday is attributable to the digital age, wherein companies and brands actively participate in the creation of “fake advertising campaigns, incredible news stories, and viral videos that generate thousands of reactions on social media.” (See below) However,” Marca cautions, “there is also a debate about the limits of these pranks and the spread of fake news in a time when misinformation is a growing concern” to which the DJI responds: “tune in next week!”

Back in the U.S.A., newspapers, television programming, magazines, social media and whisperers in the wind all shared stories of strange or poignant pranks of the past – some jokers keeping eyes out for new afflictions to inflict on friends, family and neighbors.

Affectionately, one hopes...

Descriptions and histories of famous and not-so-famous pranks are typically remembered in the silly season... from Sunday supplement lite tabloids like Parade to international orifices of news and commerce like CNET to local rags like the Indianapolis Star – each of which publishes a “best of compilation” of pranks past against the fugues of follies future.

Parade’s favorite forty five include a fast food purchase of the Liberty Bell in 1996, to be duly renamed the Taco Liberty Bell; Coca Cola’s release of a new pop that included a small shot of helium that would create a “squeaky high-pitched effect on the drinker’s voice”; and Petco’s prank poop-scooping “DooDoo Drone”.

Funny feline fecal jokes being staples of juvenile humour, CNET (March 31, ATTACHMENT TWELVE) announced a cat poo scented candle which only pretends to smell like cat poo, and instead smells of roses; threats to egg people’s houses from Reese’s and Cadbury with chocolate eggs (which compilators Gael Cooper & Amanda Kooser called the “tastiest April Fools' prank of the year” and Bodyarmor “Sports Performance Shampoo.”

And the Indystar’s list of failed April Fooleries includes incidents wherein ill-conceived pranks blew up in the makers’ faces, sometimes spectacularly, such as the Panama City, Florida Hooters’ waitress who won a Toyota at the company’s 2001 beer-selling contest – only to find the prize a brand new Star Wars doll - a green toy Yoda complete with light saber (she sued and won a settlement) , a Google “Minion” mic drop GIF to infest clients’ e-mails and that funny, funny Elon Musk’s 2018 report to his shareholders that Tesla had gone "completely and totally bankrupt" – perhaps a forecasting of Modern Times. (March 31, ATTACHMENT THIRTEEN)

Sometimes famous (or infamous) persons share their favorite foolishness as, for example, Monica Lesinsky’s guide “to pulling off the perfect April Fools’ Day prank” in Vanity Fair.

“Not that anyone asked, but I think April Fools’ Day 2025 is just what we need. (That and a time machine.) Though I was a sweet but serious kid, I always loved April Fools’ Day,” sweet Monica relates, and there’s always the premise - not that anyone asked - but Lewinsky ventured that April Fools’ Day 2025 “is just what we need.” (That and a time machine.) “Though I was a sweet but serious kid, I always loved April Fools’ Day” and there’s always something heartwarming about a global norm, agreed to across cultures, that celebrates playfulness and laughter. We are so often divided, but laughter can bring us together.” (ATTACHMENT FOURTEEN)

For example, after briefly meeting Boris Johnson at a holiday party in London in 2015 and swapping selfies, Monica pranked the friends who’d introduced her “by texting them that I had slept with Johnson the night before and was freaking out.” One replied instantly, “This time, Monica Lewinsky, do NOT tell anyone else!!!”

And another local rag, the Park City, Utah Record, ran, on Sunday, an enumeration by correspondent and attorney Tom Clyde of April Fools News such as including a “randomly selected reporter” on a group text with “the secretary of state, the defense secretary, national security advisor, head of the CIA, White House staffers and the vice president” discussing war plans in Yemen.

Of course, you can make stuff like that up and have a good laugh, until you wake up and realize that all of those things are in the real news, not April Fool’s stories. (ATTACHMENT FIFTEEN) “We are so screwed,” was Tom’s take.

Another Vanity Fair vanity confession to friends and family (by text) was filed by one TED talker Katie Herchenroeder (April 1, ATTACHMENT SIXTEEN) informing them that she would not be performing on “Dancing With the Stars” which elicited threats and fears that he “bad ankles” would not hold up to the stress and strain.

To be clear, Katie advised her relatives (and the world beyond) that “there’s nothing wrong with doing DWTS. It’s just not the obvious next step in taking back your narrative after giving a TED Talk!”

Signalgate received global, as well as local, publicity including an opinion by Sidney Blumenthal of the Guardian U.K. (March 29^th, ATTACHMENT SEVENTEEN) that the aforementioned “discussion” revealed “unserious people who don’t know when to keep quiet, with Stephen Miller as the real boss.”

Two weeks earlier, GUK had acquired another “confidential” Signal message from NSA adviser Mike Waltz... as began: “Team – establishing a principles group for coordination on Houthis, particularly for over the next 72 hours.” “The Houthis PC small group” would oversee a US air attack on the Houthis in Yemen.

Despite Waltz’s exalted professional position, the Brits snarked that he’d misspelled “principals” as “principles” – perhaps an ordinary typo, but symptomatic of the shambles to come. Although the secretaries of defense, state and treasury, the director of national intelligence, the CIA director, the vice-president, and the president’s chief of staff were among the 18 people included, neither the chair of the joint chiefs of staff, who is a statutory member of the principals committee of the National Security Council, nor any military designee was invited into this group. Instead, the editor of the Atlantic, Jeffrey Goldberg, was sent a link. Waltz noted: “Joint Staff is sending this am a more specific sequence of events in the coming days.”

The transcript exposed the internal pecking order of Team Trump and its actual chain of command, if it could be called anything that regular. “In the end, the final decision-maker within the group to whom the others deferred was not any cabinet secretary or the chief of staff. They turned to “SM” – Stephen Miller – the deputy chief of staff who is Trump’s zealous enforcer. The chief of staff, Susie Wiles, came across as a cheerleader. Miller was the one who gave the stamp of approval. He conveyed Trump’s word. For all intents and purposes, Stephen Miller acted as the de facto president.”

“About the military plan on the eve of being executed,” GUK reported that JD Vance opined: “I think we are making a mistake.”

“There is nothing time sensitive driving the time line,” piped up Joe Kent, the head of the National Counterterrorism Center, whilst lending support to Vance. “Kent has been an overlooked figure in the scandal,” GUK disclosed; “he has an extensive history of associations with extremist domestic terrorist organizations. As a Republican congressional candidate, he paid a consulting fee to a member of the Proud Boys; he has also been close to the Christian nationalist Patriot Prayer group involved in violent street brawls in Portland; defended the white supremacist Nick Fuentes; and stated: “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with there being a white people special interest group,” during an interview with a group called the American Populist Union. In 2022, after Putin’s invaded Ukraine, Kent called him “very reasonable”. When Kent ran for the House that year, after his ties to the far right were exposed, he claimed “he had distanced himself from such groups.”

GUK also contended that Dr. Peter Marks, formerly the FDA’s top vaccine official – formerly lauded by Donald Trump during the US president’s first term for his role in Operation Warp Speed (the initiative that developed, manufactured and helped distribute the Covid-19 vaccines) – pranked health secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr’s prankly “misinformation and lies” in the letter of resignation he submitted as an alternative to being fired (along with 10,000 of HHS’s employees laboring at various tasks ranging from enhancing vaxxes on Bird and Human Flu to researching cures for cancers). (ATTACHMENT EIGHTEEN)

In defense of Trump and RFK, GUK reported that the Wall Street Journal reported this statement on the resignation by an HHS official: “If Peter Marks does not want to get behind restoring science to its golden standard and promoting radical transparency, then he has no place at FDA under the strong leadership of secretary Kennedy.”

Bobby himself contended he was fighting pushback from “defiant bureaucrats” who had stopped his office from gaining access to “closely guarded databases that might reveal the dangers of certain drugs and medical interventions”... which implications, GUK and other liberals whispered, might result in the banning of Covid vaccines, mifepristone (a contraceptive) and remedies for illnesses ranging (again) from flu to Bird flu to measles.

One David Levi Strauss (perhaps related to the pants people, perhaps not) solicited and collected polling data from Trump’s first month in office (2/23; the Brooklyn Rail, ATTACHMENT NINETEEN) and deduced that Trump was now (or then, rather) “six points underwater in favorability, which is fifteen points under any other president in history at the beginning of their terms. Trump is the least popular president in the history of such polls.”

The numbers were even worse in such areas as pardons, tariffs, the foreign wars and, of course, Elon Musk. Further, the polls that Mean Jeans fingered found that one of Djonald UnMortal’s veneration by Gen. Z was sliding downhill faster than a wall of mud towards a Malibu beachside paradise.

He predicted that he’d probably have to use force at some point to maintain control, “which will further increase the enmity and unrest among the people. And/or he’ll need to create a tremendous distraction.”

Month two saw check... and check!

“Now that Trump has captured the intelligence services, the Justice Department, and the FBI,” the Rail roaded, “the military is the last piece he needs to establish the foundations for authoritarian control of the US government.”

“This may all be eclipsed soon by what Trump is doing internationally,” the Rail chugged on. “His mixture of utter incompetence and stupefying authoritarian arrogance is wreaking havoc with the post-war liberal world order. Trump has shifted his allegiances from our long-term allies in NATO and elsewhere to Putin’s Russia. He’s sided with Russia in its war of aggression against Ukraine and cozied up to other tyrants around the globe.

Steve Bannon, not to be outdone by his alter ego Elon, flashed a Nazi salute near the end of his speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) on February 21, while shouting “Fight, Fight, Fight,” in imitation of Trump. The salute came right after Trump’s Vice President JD Vance supported the neo-Nazi Alternative for Germany (AfD) party in the German elections, and Elon Musk announced that “only the AfD can save Germany.”

Formerly a Republican partisan stalwart, the National Review has had its problems with Donald UnChainsawed since his first administration and from that time on, subsequent praise and criticism have continued battling one another as the man NR’s Jeffrey Blehar called “the undisputed ringmaster at the carnival of fools.” (ATTACHMENT TWENTY)

The Old Right Peanut Gallery included contentions that “the pathetic creep is basically begging for affirmation” (MK) promoting an “incoming fascist dictatorship” as opposed to supporters who snarled that “MAGA is strong and moving forward, leaving these Never Trumpers at NR behind,” (BH) and that “(a)fter watching the disgusting display of a party that can’t clap for a child fighting brain cancer, I can NOT find a decent democrat let alone one worth voting for... (GJ)”

And the righter-than-right New York Post found a Democrat worth quoting... Slick Willie’s old fixer James “Snake” Carville, elucidating upon a person apparently despised by Left and Right alike... Jeff Bezos.

During his “Politics War Room” podcast on Thursday, “the Democratic strategist attacked Tesla CEO Elon Musk for what he believes is ruining his reputation as an innovator to work with Trump.” This topic led to him calling out “similarly situated” billionaires like Bezos for willingly working with Trump.

“You have this tremendous economic power,” Carville said. “You have tremendous influence in public opinion. You own one of the legacy, important media operations, and you’re doing nothing f—ing with it. You’re appeasing people.”

He called both Musk and Bezos “f—ing fools” but focused heavily on Bezos, comparing him to Porsche founder and German engineer Ferdinand Porsche, who helped construct weapons and tanks for the Nazi Party.

Bezos, “who also owns Amazon”, the Post apparently discovered, has been criticized by progressives and members of his newspaper staff over the last few months for announcing changes to the Washington Post’s opinion pages, preventing the editorial page from endorsing Vice President Kamala Harris in 2024 and donating $1 million to Trump’s inauguration fund.

Carville echoed Bezos’ critics by insisting he was pandering to Trump and would be forever ruined by it.

Fortunately for Trump, Musk, their colluders, collaborators and Congressthings, Dissent’s Fred Halliday pointed out the “convergence between the forces of Islamist militancy, on the one hand, and the “anti-imperialist” left on the other...” which has enabled Republicans to brush away charges of anti-Semitism and turn them back upon liberals.

The latest Arab (largely Iranian-backed) Israeli war is a conflict without heroes... both sides are committed to an impossible genocide as the only solution – leaving the field to those who exploit the carnage for their own agenda... sometimes related, sometimes not.

“This relationship of the radical left to political Islam has a long history, one that should give pause to those who now seek to form an alliance, however “tactical,” with Islamist movements and states,” wrote Halliday, adding that the alliance: faced with the blocking of the proletarian revolution in Europe after 1917, they turned to the anti-imperialist and sometimes Islamic forces then active in Asia. The first state in the world to recognize the Bolshevik Revolution was the monarchy of Afghanistan, then locked in a conflict with the British. As a result, Lenin gave instructions that Soviet Russia must always pay “particular attention” to Islam.

China, meanwhile, is waiting and watching the dissolution of America, Islam and Russia and, this week, exploited the Trump tariff trauma by opening economic relations with ancient enemy Japan as well as South Korea (despite its on-again, off-again alliance with NoKo),

So it’s not surprising that April Fools’ Day brings out over a hundred “hilarious political quotes” from the ChiCom creature Alibaba.com. (March 26, ATTACHMENT TWENTY THREE)

“Emily’s” list purports to bring “light-heartedness to the otherwise heavy realm of politics. As we explore these quotes, we invite readers to enjoy the lighter side of political discourse and appreciate the universal humor found within it.”

Most of the authorities cited are credited to Unknown, second highest are American and other practitioners of heretical democracy... even invertebrate ChiCom hater Ronald Reagan, whose charge that "I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a Cabinet meeting," is included – as are remarks from Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher, George Orwell and Marx (Groucho, not Karl).

“The sphere of politics, intertwined with power, ambition, and governance, is often perceived as an uncharted land shrouded in seriousness,” raps (and wraps) “Emily”. However, as showcased through this compilation of funny political quotes, “there exists a realms (sic) of humor within politics.”

Hoaxes.org also listed a Top 100 April Fools’ hoaxes (some political, more not) via 1440 and, as opposed to the Chinese listings above, most are actually credited (to someone, or something).

Time and space being as they are, we included only Number One, below (also included on several other lists of best and/or oldest pranks), and the Top Ten within ATTACHMENT TWENTY FOUR...to see the rest, go here.

#1: THE SWISS SPAGHETTI HARVEST April 1, 1957

The respected BBC show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees.

Yahoo News (4/1, ATTACHMENT TWENTY FIVE) reiterated other April Fools’ Day jokes... perhaps the biggest of which was this, from its Introducton...

Yahoo is using AI to generate takeaways from this article. This means the info may not always match what's in the article. Reporting mistakes helps us improve the experience.

This caveat established, Yahoo selected some of the most prominent foolishnesses of the week and fearlessly refuted them... Warren Buffet is not buying Tesla; DOGE is not sending stimulus checks to Don Jones.

They also included a Peanut Gallery, in which HPY seconded 'RFK Jr. knows how to handle health and human services' and VB declared his favorite to be when a dj announced that the phone company was cleaning the lines by blowing air through them, “so you were supposed to bag your receiver from 11 an to noon on April 1 1987.” Didn’t work. “Station got sued and the dj fired,” the peanut added.

More April Fool’s Foodie Day pranks from USA focused on brands, food and food brands and their goofy pranks – remember last year's “Baby Translator” app and 7-Eleven's hot dog-flavored water? (ATTACHMENT TWENTY SIX)

Back in 2020, Journelle teased men's lace lingerie on April Fools' Day. Later in the year, the company began actually offering men's lingerie and it's become a top-selling category, says co-CEO Guido Campello. Other 2025 pranks include...

Omaha Steaks' 'meat-cute' April 1 romance novel...

Deep Indian Kitchen has some new Indian Ice Cream Flavors including Chicken Curry, Chicken Tikka Masala, Spinach Paneer, Butter Chicken, and Chicken Vindaloo...

Dude Wipes' new manscaping tool for your bum – a grooming tool for "down-there maintenance", and...

Duolingo's April Fools' Day trip tease: a 5-year Carnival cruise which is a trick, but offers two real deals: a free month of the Super Duolingo language app and special offers on a much shorter Carnival cruise.

Fox (ATTACHMENT TWENTY SEVEN) listed a few of the year’s political pranks... Gov. Jared Polis (D-Co) issued a press release early Tuesday morning announcing he had unveiled a new official gubernatorial portrait to be displayed in the State Capitol – a play on President Trump’s demand that a portrait of himself be taken down because he did not like the way it made him look, calling it "purposefully distorted" while Rep. James Comer (R-Ky) posted that he had commissioned Hunter Biden to paint his portrait... including “what appeared to be an AI-generated image” of Hunter painting the portrait of Comer.

And that jokely joker Djonald UnSerious pranked the White House press corps through assistant press secretary Taylor Rogers, who announced an “unexpected later night of work” and then waited for a beat or two before saying “Happy April Fools!” and then adding “Happy Liberation Day eve,” pointing to President Trump’s April 2 tariff deadline. (The Hill, ATTACHMENT TWENTY EIGHT)

Adweek (ATTACHMENT TWENTY NINE) rounded up the most unusual April Fools’ Day pranks from brands and presented Garlic Ranch soda, Yahoo’s grass encrusted keyboard, a Whisker candle that smells like the cat’s litter box and the Mr. T’s Pierogies face cream and eye patches that reporter Brittaney Kiefer called “kind of soothing.”

And finally, stark reality intruded courtesy (??) of Malwarebytes.com which announced that it would no longer celebrate (or endure) April Fools’ Day – given that social media, AI and corporate cyberfoolery as has turned America into Scamerica

“It’s hard to know what to believe any day of the year online,” declared a very tired-sounding Mark Beare and so, “while we used to participate in April Fools, it just hits different these days.”

“So go ahead and order your Hot Dog Sparkling Water,” Beare asks the Joneses to bear with him a little longer, “eat your crust only pizza, or have a snooze in your banana sleeping bag. We love that. (ATTACHMENT THIRTY) But as a cybersecurity brand we want you to feel like you can trust us—every single day of the year. If we say something is fake, then it’s fake. If we say it’s real, then it’s real. No exceptions.”

Our Lesson: March 27 through April 2, 2025

Thursday, March 27, 2025

Dow: 42,299.70

AyGee says there will be no investigation of Signalgate – SecPress Leavitt says that would add to the irresponsibility. Tariff increases are underway, even Teslas are being tariffed for having foreign-made parts (and the haters are burning them and writing Nazi graffiti). The memos accidentally sent to Atlantic editor Bernstein could have resulted in Houthis shooting down American planes with Iranian missiles. Even some Republicans call for investigations.

Wildfires scorch the Carolinas – feeding on brush and dead trees killed by Hurricane Helene winds and floods Asheville declared in extreme fire danger as clouds of toxic smoke require masking – fires in Georgia blamed on woman angry with husband. Now, heavy rains are flooding South Texas – a foot of rain and 30 ft. river rising in rivers. 50 water rescues conducted. Where floods are not, drought is... burn bans are being enforced from Atlanta to New York.

Major league baseball begins this week, NCAA March madness to start reducing fields from Sweet Sixteen to Final Four.

Friday, March 28, 2025

Dow: 41,583.90

7.7 EQ hits Thailand and Myanmar (also in the midst of civil war). Buildings collapse in Bangkok, 600 miles from epicenter. 149 reported dead so far, but many more are missing.

HHS Sec. RFK Junior announces plans to merge some of his agencies into a huge AHA! (Administration for a Healthy America) and cut 10K jobs. The department’s 10 regional offices will be cut to five and its 28 divisions consolidated into 15, including a AHA!, which will combine offices that address addiction, toxic substances and occupational safety into one central office… ignoring protests from rural areas as believe they will no longer be covered. He also recommends Vitamin A for measles, despite doctors saying it causes liver damage in kids.

Sec. Waltz and the Vances visit Space Force base in Greenland, where J. D. tries to soft-pedal talk of military conquest, even though Trump demands that Denmark hand over the big island full of minerals and with Chinese and Russian ships sniffing around.

In criminological news, a mass stabber in Amsterdam stabs five, including two Americans and Selena’s killer denied parole after 30 years in prison. Record $5M bil required for anesthetic tech who basked his wife in the head with rocks and pushed her down the side of a mountain. Ghoul breaks open casket, steals baby’s corpse from a cemetery in West Virginia. Utah bans fluoride in drinking water. Dentists plan for better business.

Saturday, March 29, 2025

Dow: Closed

Recovery and rescue teams comb ruins in Myanmar and Thailand as death toll launches upwards to 1,000 and bodies are still being pulled from the rubble. Tremors and aftershocks still being felt as far away as China.

Stocks crash after triple whammy of inflation, consumer confidence drop and inconsistency in tariffs.

Danish PM Matte Fredrischen defiant, says that Greenland is theirs and will not be surrendered. Locals in Nuuk vow to fight American troops, if necessary. DHS Kristi Noem goes to El Salvador to inspect and defends deportations as SCOTUS deliberates on stopping more deportations – Musk and Trump promise that people who draw Nazi graffiti will get 20 years in El Salvador prison, or maybe Guantanamo for domestic terrorism.

Vaxxing Czar Peter Marks, told to resign or be fired, chooses resignation – but does write an angry letter to Bobby – citing an “unprecedented assault on scientific truth.

Sunday, March 30, 2025

Dow: Closed

Talkshow Sunday finds partisans talking about Signalgate: whether it was honest mis- or evil dis-information (see above) with leakerman Goldberg calling it “a somewhat farcical situation” on “Meet the Press” while Djonald UnDisturbed, says the Atlantic is another failing medium – then reiterating that his quest for a third term is not an April Fools joke, while supporters say MAGA will either repeal the 12^th and 25^th Constitutional amendments or somebody (Vance? Don Junior? Erik?) will get elected in ‘28 and cede power back to Father either officially, making him Speaker or Cabineteer so everybody can resign, or unofficially, like Elon.

On the talkshows, E-con-mystic Diane Swong cites panic buying, hoarding and “hunkering down” all at the same time and that it will be impossible to find American cars without foreign parts; former Covid Czar Asha Jah accuses RFK Junior of purging Dr. Peter Marks (who denounced anti-vaxxing in his letter of resignation – accusing the HHS newbie of supporting “quack” vitamins and cod liver oil to stop measles; Mark and Mike don’t think alike... Sen. Warner (D-Va) says 250 CIAgents were outed by Signalgate while Rep. Turner (R-Oh) calls it a “successful operation” and Atlantic “oversold” lack of lexicological discrimination between “classified” docs and “war plans”.

Talking heads debate whether conquering Greenland is necessary for blocking Russo-Chinese adventurism in the Far North, for its mineral wealth or for Trump’s ego. Admiral James Stavrides advocates diplomacy with Denmark for a “win-win solution” instead of a military solution. SecState Rubio hails mass arrests and deportations of protesting Palestinian students, green cards or no, who are “taking up spots from Americans” and NSA Chief Mike Waltz gets thrown under the POTUS bus for Signalgate, confesses only to mis- not dis-information.

Monday, March 31, 2025

Dow: 42,001.76

After contending that Wednesday’s “Liberation Day” will free Americans from foreign goods (presumably by making most too expensive to afford), President Trump pivots on Putin, and says Russian oil will not be exempt from tariffs because Bad Vlad refuses to come to the table and honestly work to end the Ukraine War he needs to gain the support of his base. Supporters say Trump doesn’t bluff – “if diplomacy doesn’t work, he’ll move on to Plan B (i.e. tariffs).” (It’s Plan C that has most of the world worried.)

With key Elections tomorrow in Florida (to replace Matt Gaetz and Waltz in Congress) and in Wisconsin (a swing State Supreme Court judge to rule on abortion, economics etc.), Elon Musk is handing out million dollar checks to supporters, drawing outrage – but no indictment from friendly AyGee Pam Bondi.

Democrats still fumbling, bumbling and sniveling, but some lone wolves are taking lessons from climate and burning down GOP headquarters in Albuquerque, starting Muskfires in America and Rome and... despite threats of 20 years jail, drawing swastikas on Teslas (which used to be the liberals’ car of choise). Others are just panic buying foreign stuff – cars, avocadoes, electronics, tequila. Foreign people are itchy and scratchy too... hard-right Marine LePen convicted of embezzlement and banned from running for President while rescue efforts after Myanmar earthquake blocked by civil war and DOGE improved after the military government called for a ceasefire.

And Trump also signs an E.O. honest fanboys and girls appreciate, no matter what their party: capping concert ticket reseller gouging. No more $10,000 nosebleed seats for Taylor Swift shows and, in the Oval Office, Kid Rock says “I’m a capitalist, but...” Well done, Donni-O!

Tuesday, April 1, 2025

Dow: 41,989.96

It’s April Fool’s Day. Straight-faced, President Trump says that Thursday’s tariffs will bring down prices – even though polls show voters disagree 60% to 38% and China, Japan and SoKo put aside their disagreements to form a common retaliation market. And, for the dour, dismal Democrats, NJ Sen. Cory Booker performs a 25 hour, 4 minute discourse (as opposed to “filibuster” since he’s not speaking against or far any particular legislation. The... uh... talking breaks the old filibuster record set by Strom Thurmond, opposing civil rights in 1956.

ICE arrests and deportations continue – officials admit that an “administrative error” swept up an innocent man and sent him to El Salvador, but that he won’t be brought back because he is now under the jurisdiction of Trump ally Pres. Bukele.

Formerly stranded astronauts Butch and Suni share their first interviews... Butch says he looks forward to reuniting with his wife and children; Suni saying that she enjoyed flying through the green aurora and looks forward to hugging her dog. Space X launches a crypto billionaire into space.

Wednesday, April 2, 2025

Dow: 42,225.32

It’s “Liberation Day” according to Djonald UnChained and also National Walking Day.

Democrats walk to victory in Wisconsin mangling Musk, his money, Republicans and, of course, President Trump who is so outraged that he might be firing Elon, despite the prospect of imposing regressive tariffs that may or may not make the American e-con-me golden again, but is driving consumers to panic buying of cars and Corona (beer, not disease) before the miscellaneous “reciprocal” tariffs on assorted countries’ exports (see list of tariffs as Att. B below) take full effect – today, tomorrow, next week or whenever.

The G.O.P. does save its Congressional majority by winning the two open seats in Florida (districts Trump won by 30%) but the margin of victory is cut in half. Democrats say it’s not liberation, it’s Recession Day.

Millions of Americans are also running, not walking, from “once in a generation” weather that is hitting Memphis, for example, with tornadoes, followed by four or more days of flooding rains. It’s also stormy at the South Pole – a cruise ship endures Dr. Odyssey tempests and tragedies while navigating the Drake passage between Argentina and Antarctica as glaciers melt, creating titanic icebergs.

Titanic death tolls mount in Thai/Myanmar quake... 3,000 and rising... and in the forever wars in Ukraine and Gaza, where Netanyahu and Putin sextuple-down on civilian slaughter with no “Top Gun” or “Batman” to the rescue... Hollywood mourns death of Val Kilmer.

It’s a bouncy but indeterminate week for the Dow and Country as producers, consumers and e-con-mystics await the dawn of Liberation Day... but overnight into Thursday, foreign markets crash, strongly hinting that it will not be the sort of pleasant week that Republicans had hoped for, even tho’ Trump did say there would be temporary pain. Soon, however, the world and America will be wondering “how temporary” and “how painful”?

THE DON JONES INDEX

CHART of CATEGORIES w/VALUE ADDED to EQUAL BASELINE of 15,000

(REFLECTING… approximately… DOW JONES INDEX of June 27, 2013)

Gains in indices as improved are noted in GREEN. Negative/harmful indices in RED as are their designation. (Note – some of the indices where the total went up created a realm where their value went down... and vice versa.) See a further explanation of categories HERE

ECONOMIC INDICES		(60%)
CATEGORY	VALUE	BASE	RESULTS by PERCENTAGE			SCORE		OUR SOURCES and COMMENTS
INCOME	(24%)	6/17/13 revised 1/1/22	LAST	CHANGE	NEXT	LAST WEEK	THIS WEEK	THE WEEK’S CLOSING STATS...
Wages (hrly. Per cap)	9%	1350 points	3/27/25	+0.18%	4/25	1,561.18	1,561.18	https://tradingeconomics.com/united-states/wages 30.89 nc
Median Inc. (yearly)	4%	600	3/27/25	+0.057%	4/10/25	741.21	741.64	http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 43,530 555
Unempl. (BLS – in mi)	4%	600	3/27/25	+2.44%	4/25	556.38	556.38	http://data.bls.gov/timeseries/LNS14000000/ 4.1 nc
Official (DC – in mi)	2%	300	3/27/25	-0.18%	4/10/25	221.14	220.75	http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 7,291 304
Unofficl. (DC – in mi)	2%	300	3/27/25	-0.26%	4/10/25	212.07	211.51	http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 15,154 194
Workforce Participation Number Percent	2%	300	3/27/25	+0.027% -0.006%	4/10/25	298.51	298.49	In 163,469 3,513 Out 102,646 689 Total: 266,202 61.428 424
WP % (ycharts)*	1%	150	3/27/25	-0.32%	4/25	150.71	150.71	https://ycharts.com/indicators/labor_force_participation_rate 62.40
OUTGO	(15%)
Total Inflation	7%	1050	3/27/25	+0.2%	4/25	942.43	942.43	http://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm +0.2
Food	2%	300	3/27/25	+0.2%	4/25	268.10	268.10	http://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm +0.2
Gasoline	2%	300	3/27/25	- 1.0%	4/25	238.51	238.51	http://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm -1.0
Medical Costs	2%	300	3/27/25	-0.3%	4/25	283.68	283.68	http://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm +0.3
Shelter	2%	300	3/27/25	+0.3%	4/25	255.61	255.61	http://www.bls.gov/news.release/cpi.nr0.htm +0.3
WEALTH
*Dow* Jones Index	2%	300	3/27/25	-0.76%	4/10/25	330.29	327.79	https://www.wsj.com/market-data/quotes/index/ 42,547.18 225.32
Home (Sales) (Valuation)	1% 1%	150 150	3/27/25	+4.41% +0.68%	3/25	128.69 282.27	128.69 282.27	https://www.nar.realtor/research-and-statistics Sales (M): 4.26 Valuations (K): 398.4
Debt (Personal) CANCELLED 3/27	2%	300	3/27/25	+0.043%	4/10/25	265.30	265.30	http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 75,162 CANCELLED crypto, credit card debt border encounters gold &silver

GOVERNMENT	(10%)
Revenue (trilns.)	2%	300	3/27/25	+0.16%	4/10/25	432.13	432.81	debtclock.org/ 5,070 078
Expenditures (tr.)	2%	300	3/27/25	+0.11%	4/10/25	291.91	291.58	debtclock.org/ 7,076 084
National Debt tr.)	3%	450	3/27/25	+0.08%	4/10/25	366.86	366.57	http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 36,646 675
Aggregate Debt (tr.)	3%	450	3/27/25	+0.14%	4/10/25	385.61	385.06	http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 102,747 893

TRADE	(5%)
Foreign Debt (tr.)	2%	300	3/27/25	-0.13%	4/10/25	279.70	279.34	http://www.usdebtclock.org/ 8,649 660
Exports (in billions)	1%	150	3/27/25	-1.22%	4/25	167.51	167.51	https://www.census.gov/foreign-trade/current/index.html 269.8 nc
Imports (in billions))	1%	150	3/27/25	+9.05%	“	135.93	135.93	https://www.census.gov/foreign-trade/current/index.html 401.2
Trade Surplus/Deficit (blns.)	1%	150	3/27/25	-25.11%	“	160.62	160.62	https://www.census.gov/foreign-trade/current/index.html 131.4

SOCIAL INDICES		(40%)
ACTS of MAN	(12%)							-389
World Affairs	3%	450	3/27/25	-0.1%	4/10/25	474.98	475.45	Trump breaks with Bad Vlad over Ukraine, will tariff Russian oil. Four American soldiers drowned in Lithuania, presumably accidentally, NFL ponders playing games in Dubai, and the sole exceptions to immigration crackdown is white South Africans – like Elon.
War and terrorism	2%	300	3/27/25	-0.2%	4/10/25	287.59	288.42	Tesla vandals called domestic terrorists. Amsterdam stabber stabs five, including two Americans and the Red Cross is outraged after Israel kills more relief workers in Gaza. Civil wars rage in Syria, Congo, Sudan.
Politics	3%	450	3/27/25	-0.2%	4/10/25	472.80	471.85	White House Correspondents’ Dinner bans comedians and... no joke!... Djonald UnConstitutional says he’ll 1) seek third term (even if he has to face Barack Obama), 2) invade Greenland following reconnaisance visits by Veep Vance, wife and Waltz and shrug as tariffs mash potatoes in Maine, angering GOP Sen. Collins. Kristi Noem visits El Salvador maxi-prison, promises more deportations. Stefanik appointment recalled to save GOP congressional majority. Senate allows banks to raise overdraft fees.
Economics	3%	450	3/27/25	-0.1%	4/10/25	439.21	438.77	Tariff flip-flops cause Wall Street volatility before Liberation Day. Tesla stock sinks, Elon gives up on “X” – sells it to his own AI company for $33B. More Trump/Musk/DOGE cutdowns and shutbackes: $55M from Ron Reagan’s “Institute for Peace”, threats to shut public libraries whether DEI or not; 10K workers from HHS (which Bobby plans to merge with other agencies into an Administration for a Healthy America (AHAIn the private sector, Dollar Tree will sell Dollar General (for dollars),
Crime	1%	150	3/27/25	-0.2%	4/10/25	217.50	217.06	Two April Fools fleeing police arrested when they stop to put more air in their tires. Angry Miami bus driver shoots two annoying passengers. Police kill rapper Young Scooter. Vegas babysitter stabs 3 year old to death. Home invaders hold family of Seahawks’ Richie Sherman hostage at gunpoint, gunman “angry with pharmacists” kills Walgreens pharmacy clerk, man angry with religion kills priest in Kansas.
ACTS of GOD	(6%)
Environment/Weather	3%	450	3/27/25	-0.2%	4/10/25	369.73	369.36	At least the cherry blossoms are out early in D.C. Heat, drought and wildfires batter the southwest, cold rain and floods in the North Pacific Coast, Midwest and N.E. ice and snow, heat and fires in south and in the cracks between – tornadoes. Storms kill three kids in Kalamazoo, wildfires extend overseas to SoKo,
Disasters	3%	450	3/27/25	-0.2%	4/10/25	414.47	414.88	Recovery from hurricanes Helene and Milton continue, despite more rain and flooding... despite wildfires and toxic smoke, iconic Ashville brewery reopens to give relief workers some relief. No relief for 3,000 dead, many more missing; millions homeless in Bangkok and Myanmar as USAID cancellation provides opening for China to pitch in. More airport near-disasters in NY, Dallas and Reagan DC as planes crash into kites, air traffic controllers brawl in command center and American Airlines’ cockpit toxic smoke. Antarctic cruise ship battered, tourist sub crashes, sinks, kills six rich Russians off the coast of Egypt.
LIFESTYLE/JUSTICE INDEX		(15%)
Science, Tech, Education	4%	600	3/27/25	-0.1%	4/10/25	616.46	615.23	Colleges and universities start announcing Commencement speakers... the University of Maryland selects Kermit the Frog. Schools protest cuts to student lunches and library; Navy purges 400 DEIstic books from its libraries.
Equality (econ/social)	4%	600	3/27/25	+0.3%	4/10/25	657.84	658.50	With Butch and Suni back, Space X sends crypto billionaire into the void while celebrity all-female space flight (including Gayle King and Katy Perry) will blast off on April 14^th (escaping tax day!)
Health	4%	600	3/27/25	-0.3%	4/10/25	435.51	433.77	Fluoride wars back again after Utah ban. Measles back, bird flu migrates to cows and people. No relief for breakfast. Bob Evans “Egg-beaters” recalled for... bleach? Toxic Woolite and botulistic pumpkin joice also recalled and a very toxic fungus penetrates hospitals in Miami and elsewhere.
Freedom and Justice	3%	450	3/27/25	-0.2%	4/10/25	483.08	482.60	Prosecutors say Sergio Mangione’s backpack contained a gun, zip ties and a toothbrush DOJ’s Pam Bondi calls for death penalty. Dastardly doctor who bashed wife on the head with rocks gets record $5M bail. Selena’s killer denied parole after 30 years.
CULTURAL and MISCELLANEOUS INCIDENTS			(6%)
Cultural incidents	3%	450	3/27/25	-0.1%	4/10/25	554.14	555.80	Men’s and women’s March Madness down to final four – seven #1 seeds and defending WNBA champ UConn. MLB season opens, controversial “torpedo bats” explode as Yankees kick off season with three straight homeruns, nine in all, 15 in first 3 games. Weak White Sox beat Cubs to lead league as many teams hold tributes to first responders in fire and hurricane disasters. Weaker B.O. finds “The Working Man” slaying sleepy Snow White - leaving Hollywood hoping for more substantial summer sequels and curiosities like binge-ly Beatles movies by Sam Mendes, a Karate Kid remake, and auctioning of original ET puppet. Sundance Film Festival moves to Boulder, CO while the Fyre Festival, advertising “live like Jack Sparrow” moves to the briny deep. RIP: actors Richard Chamberlain (Dr. Kildare, Shogun), Val Kilmer (“Top Gun”) and Sian Barbara Allen (“Waltons”), singer Bobby Rydell (“Wild One”). Son of MLB’s Brett Gardner dies of suspected carbon monoxide poisoning in a Costa Rican hotel.
Misc. incidents	4%	450	3/27/25	+0.1%	4/10/25	535.58	536.12	Satanic Grotto cultists arrested for holding Black Mass in Kansas! Ghoul breaks open casket, tries to steal baby’s corpse from cemetery in West Virginia. Big lotto winner disqualified for using outside cash app to buy ticket. Cerrone’s Pizza in DJI hometown Columbus, GA wins the National Pizza Expo in Vegas. 97 year old tortoise births four little turtles; Rhode Island mom births four identical quadruplets while Florida company debuts breast milk ice cream.

The Don Jones Index for the week of March 27^th through April 2^nd, 2025 was DOWN 4.49 points

The Don Jones Index is sponsored by the Coalition for a New Consensus: retired Congressman and Independent Presidential candidate Jack “Catfish” Parnell, Chairman; Brian Doohan, Administrator. The CNC denies, emphatically, allegations that the organization, as well as any of its officers (including former Congressman Parnell, environmentalist/America-Firster Austin Tillerman and cosmetics CEO Rayna Finch) and references to Parnell’s works, “Entropy and Renaissance” and “The Coming Kill-Off” are fictitious or, at best, mere pawns in the web-serial “Black Helicopters” – and promise swift, effective legal action against parties promulgating this and/or other such slanders.

Comments, complaints, donations (especially SUPERPAC donations) always welcome at feedme@generisis.com or: speak@donjonesindex.com.

ATTACHMENT ONE – FROM MUSICMATCH

“JUST APRIL FOOLS” (lyrics)

In an April dream
Once you came to me
When you smiled I looked into your eyes
And I knew I'd be loving you
And then you touched my hand
And I learned April dreams can come true

Are we just April fools
Who can't see all the danger around us
If we're just April fools
I don't care, true love has found us now

Little did we know
Where the road would lead
Here we are a million miles away from the past
Travelin' so fast now
There's no turning back
If our sweet April dream doesn't last

Are we just April fools
Who can't see all the danger around us
If we're just April fools
I don't care, we'll find our way somehow
No need to be afraid
True love has found us now

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Joel Hirschhorn / Taj Mahal

The April Fools lyrics © New Hidden Valley Music Company, Emi Music Publishing, Casa David Music, Casa David, Aspenfair Music Inc., Songs Of Fujimusic, Bmg Rights Management (uk) Ltd (hal David), Burt Bacharach

ATTACHMENT TWO – FROM MISSION ISLAM

WHO’S FOOLING WHO???...APRIL FOOL’S DAY

By Abu Muhammad Yusuf

It may be "cool"…but it’s a foolish and unislamic practise of another fool!

Allah, The Most Wise, says:

"Truly Allah guides not one who transgresses and lies." (Qur’an-40:28)

"Curse of Allah upon those who lie." (Qur’an-3:61)

Origins and History of April Fool Day

There are differing opinions concerning how this day originated:

· Some said it developed from the celebrations of spring at the equinox on March 21

· .Some said that this innovation appeared in France in 1564 CE, after the introduction of a new calendar, when a person who had refused to accept the new calendar became the victim of some people who had subjected him to embarrassment and made fun of him, so he became a laughing-stock for others.

· Others said that this innovation goes back to ancient times and the pagan celebrations connected to a specific date at the beginning of spring, so this is the remnant of pagan rituals. It was said that hunting in some countries was unsuccessful during the first days of the hunt in some countries. This was the origin of these lies which are made up on the first day of April.

· The Europeans call "April Fool" le poisson d'avril (lit. "April fish"). The reason for this is that the sun moves from the zodiacal house of Pisces to the next house, or because the word poisson, which means fish, is a distortion of the word passion, which means suffering, so it is a symbol of the suffering endured by Jesus (peace be upon him), according to the claims of the Christians, and they claim that this happened in the first week of April.

Presently people call this day April Fools' Day, as it is known to the English. That is because of the lies that they tell so that those who hear them might believe them and thus become a victim for those who are making fun of him.

The first mention of April Fool in the English language was in a magazine known as Dreck Magazine. On the second day of April in 1698 CE, this magazine mentioned that a number of people were invited to come and watch the washing of black people in the Tower of London on the morning of the first day of April.

'Aasim ibn 'Abd-Allaah al-Qurawayti wrote that many of us celebrate what is known as April fool or, if it is translated literally, the "trick of April". But how much do we know of the bitter secret behind this day? According to his research Islam was flourishing in Spain and those seeking the downfall of Islam made a careful study and concluded that it was because of the taqwa(piety) of the Muslims that Islam was so successful. So they introduced the younger Muslim generation to wine and other intoxicants and made such evils freely and cheaply available.

This tactic evil tactic produced results and the faith of the Muslims began to weaken, especially among the young generation in Spain. The result of that was that the enemies of Islam subdued the whole of Spain and put an end to the Muslim rule of that land which had lasted for more than eight hundred years. The last stronghold of the Muslims, in Grenada, fell on April 1st, hence they considered this to be the "trick of April."

From that year until the present, they celebrate this day and consider the Muslims to be fools. They do not regard only the army at Granada to be fools who were easily deceived; rather they apply that to the entire Muslim Ummah. It is ignorant of us to join in these celebrations, and when we imitate them blindly in implementing this evil idea, this is a kind of blind imitation which confirms the foolishness of some of us in following them. Once we know the reason for this celebration, how can we celebrate our defeat?

Let us make a promise to ourselves never to celebrate this day. We have to learn from the Spanish experience and adhere to the reality of Islam and never allow our faith to be weakened again.

It does not matter what the origins of April fool are. What matters more is knowing the ruling on lying on this day, which custom we are sure did not exist during the first and best generations of Islam. It did not come from the Muslims, but rather from their enemies.

The evils perpetrated on April Fools' Day are many. Some people have been told that their child or spouse or someone who is dear to them has died and unable to bear this shock, they have suffered great trauma. Some have been told that they are being laid off, or that there has been a fire or an accident in which their family has been killed, so they suffer paralysis or heart attacks, or similar diseases. There are the endless stories and incidents that we hear of, all of which are lies which are forbidden in Islam and unacceptable to common sense or honest chivalry.

Islam forbids lying even in jest and it forbids frightening a Muslim whether in seriousness or in jest, in words or in actions.

Abu Umamah Al-Bahili (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, " I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even if its just for the sake of fun'' (Hadith-Abu Dawud).

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah(RA) that the Messenger of Allah(peace be upon) said:"The signs of the hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he is entrusted with something, he betrays that trust." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 33; Muslim, 59)

Hazrat Wasilah reported that the Messenger of Allah(peace be upon) said: "Do not display pleasure at your brothers misfortune."(Hadith-Tirmizi)

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah(RA) said: "They said, 'O Messenger of Allaah, you joke with us.' He said, 'But I only speak the truth. " (Hadith narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1990)

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Whoever imitates a people is one of them." (Hadith narrated by Ahmad)

It was narrated by Mu'aawiyah ibn Haydah that he heard the Prophet (pbuh) say: 'Woe to the one who talks to make the people laugh and tells lies, woe to him, woe to him." (narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 235. He said: this is a hasan hadeeth. Also narrated by Abu Dawood, 4990).

It was narrated by Asmaa´ bint Yazeed that the Messenger of Allaah (pbuh) said: "It is not permissible to tell lies except in three (cases): when a man speaks to his wife in a way to please her; lying in war; and lying in order to reconcile between people." (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1939)

When our Muslim Ummah is being disgraced and humiliated by the Kuffaar from East to West, how is it possible for a believer with even a minute degree of Imaan(faith) to engage in this evil custom of April Fool's Day!

ATTACHMENT THREE – FROM THE NATIONAL CATHOLIC REPORTER

APRIL FOOLS' DAY ISN'T A RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY, BUT THERE ARE SOME RELIGIOUS ROOTS

By Peggy Fletcher Stack April 1, 2014

Let's be clear: April Fools' Day is not a religious holiday.

It does, however, trace its origins to a pope.

The day began, most believe, in 1582, when Pope Gregory XIII decreed the adoption of the "Gregorian calendar" -- named after himself -- which moved New Year's Day from the end of March to Jan. 1.

The change was published widely, said Ginger Smoak, an expert in medieval history at the University of Utah, but those who didn't get the message and continued to celebrate on April 1 "were ridiculed and, because they were seen as foolish, called April Fools."

Even though the annual panoply of pranks meant to mock the gullible or to send a friend on a "fool's errand" may not be grounded in any ancient religious merrymaking, the notion of "holy fools" does have a long and respected place in Judeo-Christian history.

Hebrew prophets were often scorned as mad or eccentric for pronouncing unwelcome or uncomfortable truths. The apostle Paul talked to the Corinthians about becoming "fools for Christ." And Eastern Orthodoxy still sees the "holy fool" as a type of Christian martyr.

Such views are wrapped up in paradox.

"If the wisdom of the world is folly to God, and God's own foolishness is the only true wisdom," argues British clergyman John Saward in Perfect Fools: Folly for Christ's Sake in Catholic and Orthodox Spirituality, "it follows that the worldly wise, to become truly wise, must become foolish and renounce their worldly wisdom."

Such role reversals were common during medieval Christian festivals.

Some argue that April Fools' Day is a remnant of early "renewal festivals," which typically marked the end of winter and the start of spring.

These festivals, according to the Museum of Hoaxes, typically involved "ritualized forms of mayhem and misrule."

Participants donned disguises, played tricks on friends as well as strangers, and inverted the social order.

"Servants might get to order around masters, or children challenge the authority of parents and teachers," the museum's website notes. "However, the disorder is always bounded within a strict time frame, and tensions are defused with laughter and comedy. The social order is symbolically challenged, but then restored, reaffirming the stability of the society, just as the cold months of winter temporarily challenge biological life, and yet the cycle of life continues, returning with the spring."

Some have mistaken these celebrations for medieval Christianity's Feast of Fools, which took place each January.

But that's not what happened, he said.

Even Victor Hugo's famous novel The Hunchback of Notre-Dame -- and the Disney animated film loosely based on it -- got it wrong. In Hugo's opening passages, Harris said, the novelist describes "rowdy theatricals and underworld parades of lay Parisians ... 'on the sixth of January 1482' as a combined celebration ... of the day of the kings and the Feast of Fools."

Those two celebrations were "nothing of the sort," Harris wrote in an email from his home in Wisconsin. "Indeed, they were not even an accurate portrayal of lay festivities."

Such revelry, Harris said, "was almost wholly a figment of Hugo's imagination."

So what was it really like?

The actual feast was developed in the late 12th and early 13th centuries as "an elaborate and orderly liturgy for the day of the Circumcision (Jan. 1)," Harris said, "serving as a dignified alternative to rowdy secular New Year festivities."

The goal, he said, was "not mockery but thanksgiving for the incarnation of Christ."

Role reversals did occur, but their point, Harris said, was to underscore Mary's joyous affirmation that God "has put down the mighty from their seat and exalted the humble."

The "fools" represented those chosen by God for their lowly status.

This liturgical feast was largely confined to cathedrals and collegiate churches in northern France.

Centuries later, high-ranking clergy "who relied on rumor rather than firsthand knowledge, attacked and eventually suppressed the feast," Harris said. "Eighteenth- and 19th-century historians repeatedly misread records of the feast; their erroneous accounts formed a shaky foundation for subsequent understanding of the medieval ritual."

The Feast of Fools was finally forbidden by the Council of Basle in 1435.

That misunderstanding of history, though, eventually found its way into Hugo's novel and even the Catholic Encyclopedia, which linked the "feast of fools" to the pagan celebration of Saturnalia, whose "parody must always have trembled on the brink of burlesque, if not of the profane."

That is unfortunate, said Harris, who has read and studied the original documents from the time. In his mind, the feast was more sanctified than sacrilegious.

[Peggy Fletcher Stack writes for The Salt Lake Tribune.]

ATTACHMENT FOUR – FROM U CATHOLIC

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY STARTED BY A CATHOLIC POPE

April Fools Day: the annual day popular around the world full of practical jokes, pranks, and hoaxes culminating in the jokester shouting “April Fools!” at the victim. Did you know that April Fools Day, also known as All Fool’s Day, started over 400 years ago because of Pope Gregory XIII?

In October of 1582, Pope Gregory XIII introduced the Gregorian calendar that an overwhelming majority of the world uses today. His calendar moved the start of the new year from March 25th to January 1st, but not everyone was so quick to adopt the changed calendar.

Throughout towns in Europe and especially in France, the new year used to be celebrated for a whole week beginning on March 25th and lasting until April 1st. Those who didn’t get the news or continued to celebrate the new year under the old calendar became the butt of jokes and were labeled fools.

In France, this mockery included putting a paper fish on the fool’s back, a poisson d’avril, or April’s fish, said to symbolize a young, easily ‘hooked’ fish and a gullible person.

“In one of the oldest forms that this trick took, several persons would conspire to send the victim on a fool’s errand from conspirator to another – so the person with the fish on his back would be sent out on a fool’s errand.”

Why a fish? April 1st is a day traditionally held as the beginning of Christ’s public ministry, and the fish is traditionally associated with Christ (read why here) – hence, the April’s fish. The poisson d’avril gag evolved into what you might recognize today as the “kick me” sign gag pinned on people’s backs.

On April Fools Day, don’t be afraid to pull some (good-natured!) pranks on your friends and family: you’d be in the company of saints! Saint Philip Neri and Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati were known to be great jokesters.

ATTACHMENT FIVE – FROM YAHOO NEWS

WHY DO APRIL FOOLS' DAY JOKES STOP AT 12PM? HOW THE TRADITION STARTED

By Katie Collier

April Fool's Day is a day of pranks but you'll need to make sure you've played your trick before 12pm - here's why (Image: Getty)

Every year April Fools’ Day comes around and you’ll probably know it as a day for pranking the people closest to you.

Little jokes are played on people and you’re likely familiar with the main rule of the day which is that the pranks have to end at 12pm noon but why is that?

To help you better understand April Fools’ Day and its origins, the team at Slingo has answered some of the key questions you might have about the annual event.

What is April Fools’ Day?

April Fools' is essentially a free pass to prank friends, families and colleagues on April 1 every year.

Watch out for pranks on April Fools' Day (Image: Getty)

When should pranks stop on April Fools’ Day and what happens if you carry on?

Jokes told or carried out on April Fools’ Day should come to a stop once midday is here, the team at Slingo explains.

The idea is that you come clean for any jokes or pranks you did by midday or you’ll be referred to as the April Fool.

The team at Slingo said: “This rule has a range of theories, including the idea that the day honours the spirit of Folly, a force believed to be very powerful.

“Because of this, the day needs to be contained within some sort of limit to avoid outright chaos.

“Another potential explanation is that people ‘wise up throughout the day’, whereas in the morning people are more susceptible and gullible.”

This rule can be traced back as early as 1851 in a passage written in a British Journal which said those who played pranks in the afternoon would be told: “April fool's gone past, you're the biggest fool at last.”

How did April Fools’ Day originate?

Slingo explains that there isn’t just one theory as to how the annual day came about, saying: “There’s not one confirmed theory for the origin of the day, however, one popular theory originates from the theory that April Fools’ Day is linked to the vernal equinox.

“The unpredictable and changeable weather around this time led to the idea that Mother Nature was fooling people. With the end of winter, some April Fools’ Day history could be linked to the idea that creative energies return as spring starts.

“However, the spring equinox does not occur on April 1st, leading to the question of how we have come to celebrate on this particular day.

Recommended reading:

· Will the UK get an extra bank holiday for VE Day's 80th anniversary?

· When is Easter 2025? Key dates for the bank holiday weekend

· When is the start of Spring in the UK? All to know about the Spring Equinox

“This leads to another popular theory which stems from France. In 1582, France switched from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar. In the Julian Calendar, the new year begins with the spring equinox around April 1st, whereas the new year in the Julian calendar starts on January 1st.

“People who continued to celebrate the New Year around April 1st were called “April fools” for failing to recognise the change of the calendars.

“Another popular theory among historians comes from ancient Rome. Hilaria, which is Latin for joyful, were festivals celebrated towards the end of March by followers of the cult of Cybele and entailed members of the cult dressing up in disguises and mocking and pulling jokes towards citizens.

“The festival was said to be inspired by the Egyptian legends of Osiris, Isis, and Seth and is now said to have potentially inspired April Fools’ Day as we know it today.”

ATTACHMENT SIX – FROM UNTAPPED NEW YORK

NYC'S OUTRAGEOUS APRIL FOOLS' DAY PARADE TURNS 40

This zany NYC tradition celebrates a major milestone!

By NICOLE SARANIERO March 31 2025

April Fools' Day in New York City has been marked by a "satirical spectacle" of "outrageous floats and unrelenting mockery" for forty years with the annual April Fools' Day Parade. Created in 1986 by artist Joey Skaggs, the parade will March along 5th Avenue from 59th Street to Washington Square Park starting at noon ET on Tuesday, April 1st.

“April Fools’ Day has always been a time to express our truest thoughts and feelings, wrapped in the guise of humor—just like the jesters of old who spoke truth to power," Skaggs, Chair of the New York April Fool’s Committee told Untapped New York, "I founded the New York City Annual April Fools’ Day Parade in 1986 when I realized that New York had parades for nearly every holiday, except the one that celebrates the freedom to say whatever we want, however we want, without fear of retribution."

2024 Parade, Courtesy of The Joey Skaggs Archive

A King or Queen of Fools will be crowned at the end of the parade route in Washington Square Park. The honor recognizes the person "whose audacity, ignorance, or hypocrisy reigned supreme" this year.

"What makes this parade special is that it’s entirely unsponsored, beholden to no one," says Skaggs. "It’s a pure, unfiltered expression of the people—New Yorkers who always have something to say. The April Fools’ Day Parade Committee welcomes everyone’s creativity, and as always, the public will bring surprises. We can’t wait to see what unfolds.”

All are welcome to participate in the parade or watch and laugh from the sidelines, with costumes and masks or without. Those wishing to bring a float should note that it must be no wider than 10 feet and no longer than 30 feet and can be self-propelled, towed, pushed, or pulled. The Committee welcomes customized bicycles, tricycles, baby carriages, and helium balloons as well.

Courtesy of The Joey Skaggs Archive

"This year marks the parade’s 40th anniversary—an incredible milestone," Skaggs reflected. "It also coincides with the second coming of Donald J. Trump, and let’s face it, the world is only getting crazier. No matter where you stand politically, there’s plenty to laugh—or cry—about."

Next, check out Untapped New York's April Fools Newspaper!

ATTACHMENT SEVEN – FROM WIKI

The Saint Stupid's Day Parade is an annual parade in San Francisco on April 1.^[1] It was founded by Ed Holmes (Bishop Joey of the First Church of the Last Laugh^[2]) in the late 1970s with the understanding that one of the unifying bonds in society is stupidity. If April 1 falls on a weekday, the parade starts at the foot of Market Street and follows a route through the financial district. If April 1 falls on a weekend, the parade starts at the Transamerica Pyramid, proceeds up Columbus Avenue and ends at Washington Square.^[3] The parade begins at noon.^[4] The parade includes free lunch, confetti, flags and costumes.^[2]

References

1. "39th Annual "St. Stupid's Day" Parade | SF". FunCheapSF.com. Retrieved 2017-11-08.

2. Jump up to:^a ^b Medina, Sarah (2012-04-02). "St. Stupid's Day Parade Marches Through April Fool's Day In San Francisco (PHOTOS)". Huffington Post. Retrieved 2022-03-16.

3. good2create. "Saint Stupid's Day Parade (St. Stupid Day) | April 1". KeepIn Calendar. Retrieved 2017-11-08.

4. "San Francisco Celebrates St. Stupid's Day". NBC Bay Area. Retrieved 2017-11-08.

External links

· Saint Stupid’s Day Parade: First Church of the Last Laugh (archived)

· 2023 St. Stupid's Parade in the SF Standard

· Photos: 30th Annual Saint Stupid’s Day Parade

· Several year's photos of the Saint Stupid's Day Parade

ATTACHMENT EIGHT – FROM FUNCHEAP

SF’S 47ST ANNUAL “ST. STUPID’S DAY” PARADE? (2025)

Tuesday, April 1, 2025 - 12:00 pm to 2:00 pm | Cost: FREE*
Embarcadero Plaza (Formerly Justin Herman Plaza) | 1 Market Street, San Francisco, CA

Please note, we’re not sure if this event is happening as of March 27, 2025. The website is down, the Facebook page and the Facebook group don’t have any new information. Seeing as we’re a few days away now, we’re skeptical that it’s happening for 2025. We’ve reached out to the organizer, and if we can confirm it’s happening for 2025, we’ll update this post.

The Annual St. Stupid’s Day Parade is a celebration of stupidity.

On April 1, it’s time for yet another parade in honor of Saint Stupid, patron saint of Civilizations and Parking Meters.

47st Annual St. Stupid’s Day Parade?
Tuesday, April 1, 2025 | Noon
Downtown San Francisco
FREE

– Midweek parades – typically start at Embarcadero Plaza and go through the Financial District
– Weekend parades – From Transamerica Building (Washington St.), up Columbus Street to Washington Square Park, SF

*Please note that the 2025 parade details have not yet been announced (as of 4/10/25), but since we’re so close to the event date now, we’re skeptical if it’s happening. Read about the 2024 event below to discover the typical shenanigans.

2024 Details

This Monday, April 1st, High Noon. St Stupid and The First Church of the Last Laugh will be sponsoring the 197th annual Saint Stupid’s Day Parade. Please assemble at Embarcadero Plaza, formerly Justin Herman (who was REALLY stupid) Plaza. at the foot of Market Street across from the Ferry Building. Dress like a character in Hawaii Five-0 or maybe PerWee Herman if he was in The Matrix and bring something stupid that means something stupid to you. Rain or shine, earthquake not-with-standing, AI multi-verse confusion or not. Be there or rutabaga.

Normally the details are listed on this Facebook group or you can sometimes find details from Bishop Joey

San Fransisco’s annual rite of spring parades thru the Financial District in a light-hearted mock of business. Free and open the public this sidewalk parade hops, skips and giggles with drums, noise makers and goofy signage.

Bring pennies to toss at the Bankers Heart and socks for the traditional Sock Exchange. Fun for the whole family. Rain and/or shine.

Brought to you by the First Church of the Last Laugh, the world’s fastest growing ‘snack’ religion, one holy day a year, and April First is it.

Disclaimer: Please double check event information with the event organizer as events can be canceled, details can change after they are added to our calendar, and errors do occur.

Cost: FREE*

*This is DIY. We still don't have 2025 details, so this event may not be happening

Categories: **Annual Event**, *Top Pick*, April Fools Day, Fairs & Festivals, Geek Event, In Person, San Francisco

Venue: Embarcadero Plaza (Formerly Justin Herman Plaza)

Address: 1 Market Street, San Francisco, CA

ATTACHMENT NINE – FROM THE FLORIDA PHOENIX

A FESTIVAL OF FOOLISHNESS AND TOXICITY

Don’t even begin to think this year can’t possibly be worse than last year.

bY Diane Roberts Mar 3, 2025

OCCUPIED TALLAHASSEE — The circus is coming to town.

Y’all might know it as the regular session of the Florida Legislature.

Don’t even begin to think this year can’t possibly be worse than last year, when lawmakers passed a dumpster full of bills to make Florida worse.

They include:

· Allowing underage kids to work 30-hour weeks when school is in session, teaching them the value of low-paid labor.

· Making sure businesses don’t have to give roofers, construction workers, etc., water breaks or shelter from the blazing sun and 100-degree temperatures. This is Florida: Suck it up, Buttercup!

· A law letting people shoot bears whenever they feel like it.

· Scrubbing references to climate change, but ensuring students learn communism is the worst thing in the universe, worse than having to eat your vegetables, worse than “Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey,” worse than syphilis.

· Cracking down on degenerate nekkidness by decreeing that all strippers must be over 21.

· Declared a part of Tyndall Airforce Base “Spaceport Territory,” perhaps to become the future home of Starfleet Academy.

Accomplishments to be proud of, indeed.

But 2025 promises even more landmark legislation.

The combustible Randy Fine is almost certainly on his way out of the Florida Senate, headed to Congress after a special election on April Fool's Day.

Always focused on the critical issues, your elected representatives will make it a law that you call the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf of America.”

Of course, it’s not the “Gulf of America,” any more than Greenland is actually green or Bombay Duck is a waterfowl.

The Associated Press and the rest of the planet will continue to call it the Gulf of Mexico (as will rational Floridians), but since when does reality deter Trump-drunk legislators?

‘Chemtrails’

Case in point: SB56, sponsored by Sen. Ileana Garcia, R-Coral Gables, would forbid messing with the weather.

Seems she agrees with U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who hinted the sinister Biden administration was responsible for Hurricane Helene.

Well, we’re not putting up with people fooling around with storms and heatwaves and space lasers here in Florida, and while we’re outlawing cloud seeding to make it rain — which hasn’t been done for half a century — we need this bill to deal with those terrifying “chemtrails,” too.

You know: The white lines you see when an aircraft flies overhead?

They’re actually nothing but condensation, but Garcia reposted (and did not refute) loony conspiracy theories suggesting they’re chemicals that could facilitate mind control.

The nation’s new HHS Secretary, RFK Jr. agrees, often muttering dark conspiracy theories about some unknown cabal spraying “microscopic particulates from airplanes.”

You can’t be too careful with your precious bodily fluids.

To that end, Sen. Kevin Truenow and Rep. Kaylee Tuck have filed a bill to outlaw fluoride in public water systems, parroting the state surgeon general’s claim that studies show fluoride causes brain damage in children.

Indeed, there are a few studies that do suggest an extremely high level can affect kids’ IQs — in Ethiopia, China, Turkey, and Pakistan, where the water is loaded with fluoride at many times what’s allowed here.

Dentists and the CDC say community fluoridation reduces cavities and other painful mouth maladies by 25%, but what do a bunch of scientists know?

Clearly not as much as RFK Jr. (him again!), who supports banning fluoride, calling it cancer-causing “industrial waste.”

When your kids howl about all those coming encounters with the dentist and his great big drill, tell them to turn to the Almighty.

Compulsory piety

If Kimberly Daniels, D-Jacksonville, has her way, they won’t have much choice.

Rep. Daniels has filed a bill that would require Florida schools to plaster large signs declaring “In God We Trust” on everything that stands still long enough: offices, gyms, libraries, cafeterias, classrooms — who knows, maybe on the back of the school mascot.

And to remind the young ‘uns this is a free country, the measure mandates a “moment of silence” (AKA prayer) and demands students sing the national anthem and say the Pledge of Allegiance every blessed day.

Remember that bill passed last year allowing 16- and 17-year-olds to work 30 hours a week during the school year? Apparently, it’s too soft for Sen. Jay Collins of Hillsborough County.

Collins, a former Green Beret with a chest full of medals and a head full of sawdust, wants those whiny brats to toughen up.

Ditch the mandatory breaks for teen wage slaves; lose the waivers parents must sign; and allow the little punks to work earlier than 6 a.m. and after 11.30 p.m.

On school nights.

The ones who survive the toxic mix of mindless labor and chronic fatigue, managing to stay awake long enough to pass the SAT, and make it to college, might soon be able to pack heat on campus, just as God intended.

Sen. Randy Fine, R-Islamophobia Lakes, has authored a campus-carry bill because students need to protect themselves from “Muslim terror.”

Instances of “Muslim terror” apparently include college students occupying patches of university-maintained grass, sometimes with illicit tents, demonstrating against genocide in Gaza, and occasionally shouting stupid antisemitic slogans.

If those are acts of “terror” so are the rising instances of anti-Muslim “terror” on campus.

Toxicity

Fine seems to imagine Jewish students will get themselves guns.

So will Muslim students.

So will depressed students, alienated students, and anyone who might, at some time, get drunk, stoned, or angry.

What could possibly go wrong?

The combustible Fine is almost certainly on his way out of the Florida Senate, headed to Congress after a special election on April Fool’s Day.

Nevertheless, he’s determined to pass as many hate-fueled bills as possible before he moves up to apply his singular talent for destruction to the entire country.

He was an enthusiastic sponsor of the new law taking in-state tuition away from DACA recipients and other undocumented students. Now he wants to deny them admission to most Florida colleges.

Why? Why not?

Don’t pass up any opportunity to be gratuitously cruel.

In case you have been worried about our not-remotely-beleagured $12 billion+ phosphate industry, the Legislature is on the case, determined to ensure their ability to poison our environment.

The state has 450,000 acres of land where phosphate was, or is still being, mined.

You may have seen these places in west central Florida: huge tracts stripped of plants, animals, water, and soil, and those picturesque gypsum stacks, hundred of feet high and hundreds of acres wide.

Over the past 30 years, the gyp stacks have leaked arsenic, heavy metals, and other carcinogens into Tampa Bay, the Alafia River, and the aquifer.

A couple of citizens who lived on former phosphate land and say they were exposed to dangerous amounts of radiation are suing fertilizer behemoth Mosaic.

Phosphate is radioactive.

But the state may make these tiresome little people go away with bills to shield mining companies, most of which can be counted on to write fat checks come campaign time.

Power and profits trump drinking water.

So much for schools, roads, parks, and police

And while our elected representatives are about the business of wrecking Florida, the governor has decided he wants to abolish property taxes.

Voilà! A bill to “study” what that would mean has magically appeared in the Senate.

To save everybody time, here’s what that would mean: less money for police and firefighters, less money for critical local services (city parks? fixing potholes? running community clinics?), far less money for schools. To begin to make up for that deep revenue hole, Florida would need to generate $43 billion.

Where are we going to get that money? Sky high sales taxes.

Sales taxes are regressive, hitting those least able to pay.

Maybe that’s the idea: Demolish public education, wreck social programs, and create a permanent underclass dependent on low-wage, high-risk jobs.

Ron “Who are you calling irrelevant?” DeSantis is all-in. He’s now concocted a scheme he calls the “DOGE-ing” of Florida, set up to fire hundreds of state workers, root out what he imagines are secret practitioners of DEI, and “audit” (using AI) state universities lest some professor assigns a book on Jim Crow.

You think things at the DMV, the Department of Children and Families, DEP, DOT, etc., are bad now, just wait.

You think institutions of higher ed are sinking in the ratings and getting ridiculed across the country now, just wait.

You think these bills are outrageous and stupid, stay tuned.

These clowns are just getting started.

ATTACHMENT TEN – FROM MARCA.COM

WHEN IS APRIL FOOLS' DAY AND IN WHICH COUNTRIES IS IT CELEBRATED?

By CALIOPE SMITH 01/04/2025 - 02:13 CDT

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Every year, millions of people around the world participate in harmless pranks and hoaxes to celebrate April Fools' Day, also known as the Day of the Innocents in some English-speaking countries. This date, similar to the December 28th celebration of the Day of the Holy Innocents in Spanish-speaking countries, has a long tradition and is especially popular in nations such as the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia.

Origin and Tradition

Although the exact origin of April Fools' Day is uncertain, some historians link it to the transition from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar in the 16th century when France adopted January 1st as the start of the year instead of April 1st. Those who continued to celebrate the New Year in April were mocked and pranked, giving rise to the tradition.

Brutal chase of man who steals truck, crashes into 13 cars

Over the centuries, the custom spread to different countries, becoming a highly anticipated date for media outlets, companies, and individuals looking to make others laugh with fake news and amusing tricks.

When is April Fools' Day?

April Fool's Day is mark on April 1 every year.

Countries Where It Is Celebrated

April Fools' Day is widely celebrated in the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, Ireland, and New Zealand. In these countries, both the press and social media actively participate in the holiday by spreading misleading information that is later revealed as a joke.

In France and Belgium, the tradition is known as "Poisson d'Avril" (April Fish) and involves sticking paper cutouts of fish on people's backs as a prank. In Scotland, the celebration lasts two days and is called "Hunt-the-Gowk Day," where pranks play a fundamental role.

Impact on Modern Culture

Brittany Mahomes is back in the gym just weeks after baby no. 3

Tiger Woods shouts his love for Vanessa Trump fearlessly but she 'half-heartedly' supports him |

Today, April Fools' Day has gained great relevance in the digital age, with companies and brands actively participating in the creation of fake advertising campaigns, incredible news stories, and viral videos that generate thousands of reactions on social media. However, there is also a debate about the limits of these pranks and the spread of fake news in a time when misinformation is a growing concern.

Despite this, the spirit of April Fools' Day remains the same: a day to laugh, surprise, and remember that humor is an essential part of everyday life.

ATTACHMENT ELEVEN – FROM PARADE

45 BEST APRIL FOOLS' DAY TRIVIA QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FOR KIDS AND ADULTS

Nope, this isn't a prank.

By Morgan McMurrin

April may be full of fluffy bunnies, colorful Easter eggs and sweet chocolate, but don’t forget—it’s also the prime time for pranks! As the flowers bloom and the weather warms, the spirit of mischief is in full swing, with April Fools’ Day bringing a whirlwind of surprises with it. But how much do you really know about the playful holiday? To test your knowledge, we put together 45 April Fools’ Day trivia questions that you can answer by yourself or while you’re hanging out with your family and friends.

Whether you’re a seasoned prankster or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, these trivia questions are the perfect way to learn more about the history of April Fools’ Day. From fun facts (like other names it goes by around the world), to some of the most legendary hoaxes and hilarious moments that have defined the holiday over the years, you’ll uncover all sorts of info that will leave you amazed while playing. You may even be shocked to discover how outrageous some of the pranks have been that big brands have pulled off on people throughout history on April 1.

So, what are you waiting on? Gather everyone you know together and get ready to test your skills! You might even be inspired to come up with a few epic pranks of your own afterward or use what you learned to impress others with later on. Check out this trivia about April Fools' Day, below.

Related: Gotcha—The Ultimate List of 30 April Fools' Pranks for Parents

45 April Fools' Day Trivia Questions and Answers

1. What did Wayfair name their fake smart sofa they marketed on April Fools’ Day?
Answer: Sofia

2. What was the name of the pet-friendly version of Amazon’s home assistant device, Amazon Echo, which was an April Fools’ Day joke?
Answer: Petlexa

3. As a prank, what flavor of toothpaste did Burger King claim they launched?
Answer: Whopper

4. While performing in North Carolina, which artist did Usher tell the crowd would be joining him on stage, which was actually an April Fools’ prank?
Answer: Beyoncé

5. In the U.K., what grocery store chain known for selling frozen foods tricked people into believing they were selling frozen flowers?
Answer: Iceland Foods

6. As a prank, what was the name of the feature the home design website Houzz said they added to their app that would let users hold up their phone to a piece of furniture and it would then magically disappear?
Answer: Hide From My Room

7. In 2017, what brand tricked people by saying they were releasing a coffee-flavored creamer?
Answer: Coffee-mate

8. What country calls April Fools’ Day Poisson d’Avril?
Answer: France

9. In a 1980s April Fools’ Day prank, BBC World Service announced that the Big Ben clock tower was going to be changed to what?
Answer: A digital clock

10. In 2017, what movie did director Paul Feig say he was rebooting with an all-female cast, which ended up being a funny April Fools’ Day prank?
Answer: Back to the Future

Related: 28 April Fools' Day Memes To Crack You Up and Make You Side-Eye Your Pals

11. Back in 1962, Sveriges Television’s leading technical expert Kjell Stensson pulled an April Fools’ prank telling people their TVs would appear in color if they covered it with what clothing item?
Answer: A woman’s nylon stocking

12. In Ibi, Alicante, Spain, while celebrating their version of April Fools’ (which takes place in December and is called “El Dia de los Inocentes,”) what messy tradition occurs?
Answer: A massive town-wide food fight.

13. As an April Fools’ prank in 1996, Taco Bell announced it had purchased the Liberty Bell and was planning to name it what?
Answer: The Taco Liberty Bell

14. April Fools’ Day is also known as what?
Answer: All Fools’ Day

15. In which year did the BBC broadcast the famous “spaghetti tree” hoax?
Answer: 1957

16. What sandwich did Burger King advertise they created, which turned out to be an April Fools’ prank?
Answer: Left-Handed Whopper

17. What is the traditional prank-playing time period in the U.K. on April Fools’ Day?
Answer: Until noon

18. As a prank in 2017, which brand announced it was going to be selling signature MH40 Over-Ear Headphones made of solid concrete?
Answer: Master & Dynamic

19. What kind of fish is associated with April Fools’ Day pranks in France?
Answer: A paper fish

20. Which app pranked people by claiming to help dogs learn how to code?
Answer: WonderPaw

21. What was the name of the spoof service Redbox announced where they said they would use drones to fly entire kiosks to customer’s houses?
Answer: Redbox Drops

22. As an April Fools’ prank, what type of plane did Virgin Atlantic announce they would be introducing?
Answer: A glass-bottomed plane

23. What verification did Tinder claim it was adding to its dating app in what turned out to be an April Fools’ hoax?
Answer: Height verification

24. April Fools’ Day is also linked to what ancient Roman festival?
Answer: Festival of Hilaria

25. What was the name of the fake service Hulu announced which would condense your favorite show down to just eight seconds?
Answer: Hu

26. Which American writer said, “The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days”?
Answer: Mark Twain

27. What is the name for April Fools’ Day in Scotland?
Answer: Hunt the Gowk Day

28. If you successfully prank someone on April 1st in Greece, is it considered to bring you good luck or bad luck?
Answer: Good luck

29. As an April Fools’ Day prank, which soda announced it was releasing a new pop that included a small shot of helium that would create a “squeaky high-pitched effect on the drinker’s voice”?
Answer: Coca-Cola

30. On April 1st of what year did the Berliner Tageblatt break the “news” that all the gold and silver in the U.S. The Federal Treasury had been stolen by thieves who dug tunnels?
Answer: 1905

31. What sweet new product did Bush’s Beans introduce, which turned out to be a prank for April Fools’ Day?
Answer: Jelly Beans

32. What animal did the BBC trick viewers into thinking could suddenly fly in a 2008 April Fools’ prank?
Answer: Penguins

33. What was the name of the fictional ice skating Duolingo show that the app later revealed was an April Fools’ prank?
Answer: Duolingo on Ice

34. What store conned people into thinking they were selling a poop scooping “DooDoo Drone” as an April Fools’ Day prank?
Answer: Petco

35. What year did Google prank the world with a fake product called “Google Nose”?
Answer: 2013

36. What famous structure did the Seattle-based comedy show Almost Live tell viewers had collapsed during a broadcast they aired in 1989?
Answer: The Seattle Space Needle

37. What does Poisson d’Avril mean?
Answer: "April fish"

38. Where did the Milwaukee County Transit System decide to offer customers an option to go on a roundtrip bus service as an early April Fools’ Day prank in 2017?
Answer: Milwaukee to Japan

Facts About April Fools’ Day

39. Every year, April Fools’ Day is celebrated on April 1st in America.

40. April Fools’ Day isn’t just celebrated in the United States, it’s celebrated in countries all over the world.

41. April Fools’ Day and Easter occasionally occur on the same day.

42. Some historians speculate that April Fools’ Day dates back to 1582, but the exact date is unknown.

43. April Fools’ Day is considered a national holiday, but it’s not a federal one.

44. In Scotland, it’s not just for one day, it’s celebrated for two days.

45. The earliest April Fools’ Day prank on record took place in 1698.

ATTACHMENT TWELVE – FROM CNET

APRIL FOOLS' DAY 2025 PRANKS: WEARABLE MATTRESS, CAT POO SCENTED CANDLE, SPORTS DRINK SHAMPOO

If you see a weird product this week, don't be so sure it's real.

By Gael Cooper & Amanda Kooser March 31, 2025 1:38 p.m. PT

April Fools' Day might have less of an impact these days, since every text message feels like a scam; magazine editors are being added to government war-plans chats; and even our DNA is at risk. Is there anything left to joke about when real life already feels like fiction?

According to corporate America, the answer is: Yes, definitely. This year's list of weirdness includes at cat poo scented candles, a Gen Z slang translator, wearable mattresses, sports drink flavored shampoo, Flat Earth travel insurance and the practice of "egging" houses with chocolate eggs. There's surely more to come. April Fool's Day is Tuesday.

Last year's April Fools' Day pranks from companies included:

· Duolingo on Ice

· Scotch whisky from the makers of Scotch tape

· Hot-sauce flavored Tic Tacs

· Flying J truck stop–scented cologne

· Sour cream and onion Olipop soda

· A "Rainforest Cafe" atop the Empire State Building, and perhaps the funniest (and grossest):

· 7-Eleven's hot dog water–flavored sparkling water (they really made some cans of it, too)

Don't be an April Fool

Check URLs

You're probably always carrying a little healthy skepticism these days, but turn up the disbelief until April 1 has passed. There's a famous journalism cliche: If your mother says she loves you, check it out. If you see a news report that looks... well, weirder than usual, verify that it's from a legit site. Check the URL. The New York Times doesn't misspell its own name in its URL, but joke sites may pick a very similarly named web address to try to trick you.

Consider the calendar

And as for those loopy prank products, be aware that companies sometimes throw a lot of time into their jokes. There may even be videos or order sites that tie in to the gags. If a company picks April Fools' Day, or the days leading up to it, to release or announce a product that sounds too odd to be true, don't be quick to believe in the offering.

Do some searching

Fact-check anything that looks suspicious -- especially before spending any money. Make sure you're on the company's own site, for one thing. Google the name of the product, or information about the item, to see if anyone has called out the product as a prank. Usually, fake products will offer a page to click to, and that page may simply say APRIL FOOL.

Don't believe Facebook friends, either

Don't fall for an April Fools' prank from a random trickster, even if your Facebook friend Lisa swears it's true. It's easy to spread falsehoods and misinformation on Reddit, Facebook, X, TikTok or Instagram, where everyone is a publisher and not everyone can be trusted.

Flat Earth Travel Insurance

Insurance comparison service Insuranceopedia unveiled Flat Earth Travel Insurance, describing it as a "policy created exclusively for travelers who believe the Earth is flat -- and who plan to explore every glorious, uncurved inch of it." The joke coverage addresses potential travel issues like falling off the edge of the Earth, loss of gravity, UFO detainment and rescue from the rogue sea turtles supporting the Earth's underside. Better safe than sorry.

7-Eleven mystery doughnut

What flavor is 7-Eleven's 2025 mystery doughnut? No one is sure.

For 7-Eleven, the whole month is worthy of a sweet April Fool's celebration. The convenience store chain unveiled its 2025 mystery doughnut, a Bismark-style confection. But 7-Eleven won't tell you what flavor it is. Good luck figuring it out. Some doughnut fans on social media have already taken a bite and the best they can come up with is that it's vaguely lemony.

Cat poo scented candle

The candle is real, but it only pretends to smell like cat poo, and instead smells of roses.

Cat owners love their feline friends, but not this much. Whisker, the maker of Litter-Robot automatic litter boxes, pretends to be offering a very, uh, special candle with the purchase of one of its boxes. Called Cat Pu/No. 2, it's described as "a composition of all-natural notes," with the company saying that "each and every CAT PÙ / NO. 2 is organically cat-crafted in-houses daily (sometimes multiple times a day) in very small batches." The relevance? Because Litter Robot supposedly keeps your house smelling so good, "this scent may be lost forever." The funny thing is, it's kind of real -- anyone who buys a Litter-Robot on April 1 will get the candle -- but it actually has a rose scent.

Egg someone's house with... chocolate eggs

Reese's and Cadbury want to give "egging your house" a whole new meaning.

Maybe you've had your house egged in the past and had to deal with the mess of cleaning it up. An April Fools' prank from candy companies Reese's and Cadbury is that people should instead start a new tradition by "egging" friends and family with the confectioners' tasty eggs. Thankfully, you don't hurl them at your friend's house, you just give your pal a surprise of candy eggs, and leave a sign or note saying, "You've been egged." This might be the tastiest April Fools' prank of the year, and anyone who wants to egg my house in this way is more than welcome.

Snooze on the bus with The Odd Company's City Napper, a comfy April Fools' joke.

UK mattress and bedding retailer The Odd Company wants you to get cozy on your morning commute with the City Napper. The wearable mattress comes with a wraparound headrest and quilted poncho for crashing out during your next trip on public transit. Actually, it looks really comfortable. Too bad it's not a real product.

Razer Skibidi headset

When you need to understand a Gen Z video-game player, get the Razer Skibidi headset to translate their slang.

Razer

"Skibidi toilet" is one of those bizarre expressions associated with Gen Z and Gen Alpha, and those generations play a lot of video games. So Razer's April Fool's Day prank is something called a Razer Skibidi headset, which it calls the world's first AI-powered "brainrot translator" headset. It translates phrases thrown out by young gamers such as, "What the sigma? We're getting mobbed," which means, "Your team needs support." And it translates, "I think you're cute" to become "ni hao fine shyt."

Bodyarmor Sports Performance Shampoo

Give your hockey hair a wash with Bodyarmor Sports Performance Shampoo.

Sports drink company Bodyarmor decided to get into the hair business with a Sports Performance Shampoo packed with electrolytes and vitamins.

The shampoo is a tie-in with the NHL and the legendary locks (often mullets) sported by hockey players. It's not all a joke. The prank leads to a real sweepstakes where a fan can win tickets to the Stanley Cup finals. Just don't drink the faux shampoo.

ATTACHMENT THIRTEEN – FROM YAHOO NEWS VIA THE INDIANOPOLIS STAR

APRIL FOOL'S PRANKS FROM COMPANIES THAT BACKFIRED IN SPECTACULAR WAYS

By John Tufts, Indianapolis Star Mon, March 31, 2025 at 1:58 PM EDT

April Fool's Day jokes are fun up until the person telling them becomes the punchline. Some companies have discovered their innocent shenanigans failed to delight audiences and instead tarnished their brands.

That's because for every well-executed hoax advertising a fake product — see "Game of Thrones" actor Thor Bjornsson's commercial for HeavyBubbles — there's an overeager company whose ill-conceived pranks blew up in their faces, sometimes spectacularly.

Elon Musk joked Tesla was 'totally bankrupt' in 2018 days after stock plunge — investors didn't laugh

March of 2018 was not a good month for Tesla. Shares of the electric-car company nosedived to its then-worst levels amid a storm of unflattering headlines, which included factory production issues, an auto recall, an embarrassing downgrade of its credit status, costly legal setbacks and a public row with a federal safety agency investigating a fatal crash that killed a Model X driver in California.

Most company owners buried under the weight of such bad press might steer clear of any potential controversy. Elon Musk, however, announced on April 1, 2018, that Tesla had gone "completely and totally bankrupt."

Musk tweeted that despite a last-ditch effort of selling Easter eggs, Tesla had filed for every chapter of bankruptcy — "including Chapter 14 and a half (the worst one)."

Musk's social media antics were part of an April Fool's prank, but investors weren't laughing. Tesla shares dropped another 5 percent, according to The Washington Post, with business experts openly questioning Musk's ability to lead the multi-billion dollar company.

Fake prize lands California radio station in real legal trouble

In 2005, KBDS-FM radio in Bakersfield announced the station would award a new Hummer to the lucky winner who could guess the correct mileage of the company's own Hummer H2's as they drove around town. Shannon Castillo, according to CBS news, was one of two people who guessed correctly (103.9 miles, matching the radio station's carrier frequency).

Castillo hired a sitter to watch her two children and arrived at KBDS bright and early at 6 a.m. on April 1 to claim her prize, only to discover she was being awarded a toy truck and not a $60,000 vehicle, according to the East Bay Times.

After being handed a fake car from a dubious contest, Castillo filed a real lawsuit against the station for $60,000.

Angry, she was, after Hooters gave a Florida waitress a 'toy Yoda'

A Florida waitress at a Hooters restaurant in Panama City was thrilled after learning she'd won the grand prize following a competition the company held to reward whoever could sell the most beer on April 1, 2001. The winner, according to the Associated Press, was supposed to receive a new Toyota.

Blindfolded, Jodee Berry was led out to the restaurant's parking lot where it was revealed her grand prize was actually a brand new Star Wars doll, a green toy Yoda (complete with light saber), meant as an April Fool's Day prank.

Perhaps the managers at Hooters forgot what Yoda's character had said about anger leading to suffering, because Berry was furious. Devastated, she quit her job and sued Hooters' parent company, Gulf Coast Wings Inc., for fraudulent misrepresentation and breach of contract.

The lawsuit was settled in 2002 for an undisclosed sum of money, according to the Orlando Sentinel, in which an attorney for Berry said she received enough compensation to "pick out whatever type of Toyota she wants."

Google issued an apology after its 'Mic Drop' prank went awry

Google caused more headaches for itself than laughs after an April Fool's Day joke in 2016 backfired, leading the company to issue an apology to dissatisfied users.

The search engine company announced as part of a prank that its newest Gmail feature, called the Mic Drop, was supposed to make "it easier to have the last word on any email" by adding a GIF of a yellow animated minion character (from the animated "Despicable Me" and "Minion" movies) dropping a microphone.

But a coding error from Google's programmers caused the Mic Drop to appear on emails unintentionally and had to be turned off manually. "We love April Fools jokes at Google, and we regret that this joke missed the mark and disappointed you," the company said at the time.

ATTACHMENT FOURTEEN – FROM Vanity Fair

Monica Lewinsky’s Guide to Pulling Off the Perfect April Fools’ Day Prank

Laughter may not be the best medicine for what ails us, but for now it’ll have to do. A veteran practical joker shares some tricks of the trade.

By Monica Lewinsky March 31, 2025

Laughter. Oh, how we need laughter these days. The weight of the world is almost too much to bear. The news. The stock market. The price of (fucking) eggs. The fact that the third season of The White Lotus is almost over.

Not that anyone asked, but I think April Fools’ Day 2025 is just what we need. (That and a time machine.) Though I was a sweet but serious kid, I always loved April Fools’ Day. Like Pajama Day at school, or my dad’s green pancakes on St. Patrick’s Day, any departure from the quotidian routine gave me a thrill. And that’s never changed.

The origins of April Fools’ Day are murky. Some think it arose in the Middle Ages, when the switch from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar shifted New Year’s Day from spring to January 1. Not everyone observes the holiday on April 1, but countries from France and Brazil to Iran and India dedicate at least one calendar day to jokes and pranks. (In Spain, they have an annual food fight.)

There’s something heartwarming about a global norm, agreed to across cultures, that celebrates playfulness and laughter. We are so often divided, but laughter can bring us together.

But why do I love this day so much? To find out, I did what every good (faux) investigative journalist does: I asked my therapist.

Dr. H’s first impulse was to go dark. She said it could reflect unconscious rage or the desire for power in a relationship, since the goal of a prank is to put one over on someone—and laugh at them. I didn’t want to think that could be true of me. Do I have hidden rage lurking in my subconscious? Probably? (Shrug.) But also, what woman doesn’t? The rage theory didn’t land as a puzzle piece sliding into place.

Fortunately, as I gave her some of my examples, she laughed and revised her opinion. For me, she said, it might be about connection. I love to laugh, and thinking deeply about how to laugh at somebody and with them is a way of showing I care.

The Clinton impeachment sent the little prankster in me into hibernation (a global scandal will do that to ya). But a few years later, I reclaimed my playful side with the help of a friend and neighbor in NYC, Ann. Now Ann pranked people all year long…and she was good. But April Fools’ Day was her Super Bowl. From her I learned the two keys to success: Always start with a kernel of truth, and always go all in on the joke.

My inability to keep a straight face was an obstacle, but technology eventually fixed that. Pranking over text became my specialty.

So in a feeble attempt to bring some joy to you today, here are Monica Lewinsky’s Greatest April Fools’ Day Hits:

· This one’s going to sound pretty basic and boring at first: I taped a bunch of essentials to my boss’s desk. But here’s what makes it a little edgy: We worked inside the Pentagon, a wholly appropriate place to play an April Fools’ prank (she said sarcastically), and my boss, Mr. Bacon, was the spokesperson for the Department of Defense.

· In the days of yore, when you could have a little fun on Twitter, Alan Cumming and I said we were coming out with an album together of Scottish Jewish folk songs. (He later went on to do a fantastic show called Och & Oy! A Considered Cabaret with a better singer than me, Ari Shapiro.)

· One April 1, I sent a bouquet of “Happy Birthday” balloons to a friend in a busy office. It was not his birthday—a fact he was required to explain all day to the parade of well-wishers who stopped by his desk. Another year, I went a little more personal, sending a bouquet of “It’s a Girl!” balloons to someone I was dating. (That went over less well.)

· When Farmville was at its peak, with more than 80 million users, I had a dear friend who was something of a star on the game’s platform. I made plans to visit her on April Fools’ Day (preparation is key). I arrived at her door with a package I said the doorman had asked me to carry up from the lobby: a barnful of farm-animal helium balloons and a letter, emblazoned with the Farmville logo, announcing that she had been elected the mayor of Farmville. After all the work I put into this one, I lasted about five seconds before breaking and admitting to the joke.

· Remember how I said that a kernel of truth—something believable to anchor the story in—is key? Well, on March 31, 2019, I did in fact leave my phone in an Uber. And the driver did very kindly return it to me at the restaurant where he’d dropped me off. The following day—April Fools’—I told my publicist, Dini von Mueffling, that the driver then proceeded to try sexting me and sending inappropriate photos of himself. I said I didn’t know what to do. Surprisingly, before I could even get to round two of the joke, she told me to hold tight—she’d already contacted the head of security at Uber. (Don’t worry: She never even knew his name, so no Uber drivers were harmed in the making of this prank!)

· Sometimes I really play the long game. I briefly met Boris Johnson at a holiday party in London in 2015. I was with friends who knew him, and somehow we ended up taking a photo together. (I’m less allergic to British politicians.) Come April Fools’, I pranked those same friends by texting them that I had slept with Johnson the night before and was freaking out. One replied instantly, “This time, Monica Lewinsky, do NOT tell anyone else!!!” Nearly 10 years later, they have reminded me of this joke every April 1.

Maybe my best prank came about two weeks after I delivered my TED Talk, The Price of Shame. I hadn’t flopped or even flop-sweat (which, yes, I was worried about). The talk was landing positively in ways I couldn’t have imagined, and I couldn’t have been more grateful. And my family was still buzzing with congratulations and pride

ATTACHMENT FIFTEEN – FROM PARK CITY RECORD

MORE DOGS ON MAIN: APRIL FOOL’S NEWS

by Tom Clyde March 29, 2025

Long ago, in a Park City far, far away, this issue of the paper would be the April Fool’s issue. It would be full of the regular news, which was often so shockingly similar to current news that I think we could probably pass off a paper from 1990 as breaking news, and many of you might not notice the difference: “Planners discuss future of Bonanza Park District.”

Staff members would save up ideas all year long, and no idea was too absurd to make a good April Fool’s story because even the outer reaches of imagination were little match for what was actually happening around town. It was a favorite of staff and readers alike. It wasn’t such a favorite among the publishers.

Through the years, and different ownership, our world changed. Park City was discovered, and an article that was silly and obviously parody would somehow get picked up by national press that didn’t understand it. The Securities and Exchange Commission became interested in piece I did reporting that United Park City Mines was resuming active mining activity, and that people in Deer Valley should get used to the china rattling in the cupboards when they were blasting.

By the time The Park Record was owned by the owners of Backyard Poultry magazine, that fine old tradition had come to an end. In the internet age, where stories are around the world before the coffee is warm, it just doesn’t work.

But I still keep a clipping file for that kind of story. Things that could never happen in a million years, like:

New cities incorporating despite the fact that almost no one lives there. They are popping up like dog turds in the melting snow — West Hills above Kamas; a plan to despoil the North Fields in Wasatch County as River View on the theory that no riparian habitat is too important to be left unsubdivided; and of course, Dakota-Pacific’s proposed town at Kimball Junction.

It doesn’t matter under state law that there are few, if any, people living there. A new incorporation gets to write its own zoning laws, put together by the developer, and then turn the bulldozers loose.

The state has decided to build another liquor store in the Park City area because traffic is so heavy in the existing stores. Finding an affordable location for a liquor store is as tough as finding an affordable location for housing. So they cut a deal with UDOT, and will be building Utah’s first liquor store on a freeway ramp.

It will be a full-service location with easy freeway access. Roadie cups and ice will be available at the new Maverik across the street, with guns and ammo just down the block at the gun club. All with quick freeway access. It’s really a complete package. You don’t need to drive to Evanston any more.

And it’s not just here. All over Utah now, you can order groceries for pickup, and the store can deliver them to your car, including orders that contain beer. It’s not clear if you can send your teenager to pick up the groceries or not. You’d hope somebody thought of that.

Another great story would be a completely imaginary scenario in which the Pentagon had decided to blow the Houthi rebels in Yemen to smithereens once and for all. Enough with the selective pinprick strikes, let’s go big. And they decided to do the planning for the attack in a group text using a somewhat secure commercial service called Signal.

So we have the secretary of state, the defense secretary, national security advisor, head of the CIA, White House staffers and the vice president all on this group text.

And nobody thinks to ask who the new guy is, or whether this is the right platform. Instead, they just kept sending texts to each other’s personal cell phones, wherever they are.

So people are planning this top secret bombing attack at their kid’s soccer games, on the golf course, and then just for comedic effect, they include a randomly selected reporter. It’s not clear why the vice president was on the call, because technically, when you look at the proper chain of command, his position is “not in it, anywhere.”

The reporter, Jeff Goldberg, watched the text chain for several days, including the blow-by-blow account of the bombing while he was grocery shopping. They announced the success of the mission with emojis. Hilarious stuff.

Burning a Tesla is now terrorism rather than just stupid, garden-variety arson. The full anti-terrorism unit of what’s left of the FBI is on the case, tracking down the Tesla torcher conspiracy. This is coming from the same people who said that the Jan. 6 assault on the Capitol was “an ordinary tourist visit.”

Attempts to dismiss the stupid criminality of the Tesla burners as an “ordinary showroom visit” have fallen on deaf ears. Burning an F-150, however, isn’t terrorism. Burning a cybertruck is a gray area, and most likely is insurance fraud prompted by buyer’s remorse.

Of course, you can make stuff like that up and have a good laugh, until you wake up and realize that all of those things are in the real news, not April Fool’s stories. We are so screwed.

Tom Clyde practiced law in Park City for many years. He lives on a working ranch in Woodland and has been writing this column since 1986.

ATTACHMENT SIXTEEN – (ANOTHER!) FROM VANITY FAIR

“WE’LL GET GREENLAND. YEAH, 100%,” TRUMP TELLS NBC NEWS

By Katie Herchenroeder

The morning of April 1, I sent a group text to my mom, dad, stepmom, brother, and sister-in-law, saying:

Morning.

There will be an announcement that comes out today.

I have my reasons which I’ll explain later, but so you’re not shocked, I decided to do ‘Dancing With the Stars’

Love you.

Silence.

Then more silence.

A few minutes later, I got a call from my mom. My brother had called her worried and apoplectic.

“What is she DOING?! She just gave a TED Talk!” (There might have been some expletives in there.)

An hour after that, I got a text from my stepmom: “Please call your dad. He has not figured out this is a joke and is worried because with your bad ankles you’re not a great dancer. He’s called me three times.”

To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with doing DWTS. It’s just not the obvious next step in taking back your narrative after giving a TED Talk!

However you choose to celebrate this April Fools’ Day, I hope you make it a good one and laugh your ass off. Oh, and by the way, since I have this platform here, I was given permission to announce in the pages of Vanity Fair that I’m joining season four of The White Lotus. Location: the White House. Happy April Fools’!

ATTACHMENT SEVENTEEN – FROM GUK

THE SIGNAL CHAT EXPOSES THE ADMINISTRATION’S INCOMPETENCE – AND ITS PECKING ORDER

The discussion revealed unserious people who don’t know when to keep quiet, with Stephen Miller as the real boss

By Sidney Blumenthal Sat 29 Mar 2025 06.00 EDT

On 13 March, Donald Trump’s national security adviser, Michael Waltz, who was the policy director for two secretaries of defense and was a member of the House intelligence committee, sent a message on the commercial Signal app: “Team – establishing a principles group for coordination on Houthis, particularly for over the next 72 hours.” “The Houthis PC small group” would oversee a US air attack on the Houthis in Yemen.

Despite Waltz’s extensive professional background, he misspelled “principals” as “principles” – perhaps an ordinary typo, but symptomatic of the shambles to come. Although the secretaries of defense, state and treasury, the director of national intelligence, the CIA director, the vice-president, and the president’s chief of staff were among the 18 people included, neither the chair of the joint chiefs of staff, who is a statutory member of the principals committee of the National Security Council, nor any military designee was invited into this group. Instead, the editor of the Atlantic, Jeffrey Goldberg, was sent a link. Waltz noted: “Joint Staff is sending this am a more specific sequence of events in the coming days.”

The Atlantic’s publication of Goldberg’s article about the Signal group’s exchanges was followed by a spray of attempts to cover it up. Trump and the rest of his administration simply denied that anything classified had been released; there were no “war plans”, it was a “hoax”, Goldberg was “scum”, “a loser” and “discredited”, and what about Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton? Which prompted Goldberg to publish the detailed war plans he had withheld in his first article. He was the only responsible person involved in the incident.

Quite apart from the glaring incompetence and illegality of the whole affair – Goldberg’s careless inclusion, the fact that a provision of the Espionage Act (18 USC § 793) criminalizes “gross negligence” for mishandling classified national security material, and that operating on Signal with timed deletion of messages violates the preservation of records for the National Archives – the conversation pulled back the curtain on the White House.

For all intents and purposes, Stephen Miller acted as the de facto president

The transcript exposed the internal pecking order of the Trump administration and its actual chain of command, if it could be called anything that regular. In the end, the final decision-maker within the group to whom the others deferred was not any cabinet secretary or the chief of staff. They turned to “SM” – Stephen Miller – the deputy chief of staff who is Trump’s zealous enforcer. The chief of staff, Susie Wiles, came across as a cheerleader. Miller was the one who gave the stamp of approval. He conveyed Trump’s word. For all intents and purposes, Stephen Miller acted as the de facto president.

The desultory discussion on Signal also highlighted the juvenile towel-snapping bro culture at the top of the administration. The Fox News personalities in the cabinet and the others who have habituated themselves to blathering forceful opinions appeared in the leaked transcript to have seamlessly carried over their habits of loud and thoughtless talk. Above all, they don’t know when not to speak; nor do they know what they reveal about themselves when they do. They don’t know how to conduct themselves as serious people in the room. Their incompetence comes naturally.

About the military plan on the eve of being executed, JD Vance opined: “I think we are making a mistake.” By venturing his view at this advanced point in the operation, he showed that he had been out of the loop. Vice-presidents since Walter Mondale, under President Jimmy Carter, have been made indispensable figures in important decisions, especially involving national security. But Vance sounded like an outsider, a guest on a podcast.

The Signal fiasco is obscuring an essential question: why are we bombing Yemen?

He went on about how the Houthis menacing the trade in the Hormuz Strait affected Europe more than the United States. “I am not sure the president is aware how inconsistent this is with his message on Europe right now,” he said. Vance felt that it was Trump who was out of the loop or assumed Trump’s ignorance. If only Trump understood his own contradictions.

But Vance conceded: “I am willing to support the consensus of the team and keep these concerns to myself.” Where did he think he would voice his dissent, Joe Rogan’s show? He did not know Goldberg was already listening in. Then Vance suggested: “But there is a strong argument for delaying this a month, doing the messaging work on why this matters, seeing where the economy is, etc.”

“There is nothing time sensitive driving the time line,” piped up Joe Kent, the head of the National Counterterrorism Center, lending support to Vance. Kent has been an overlooked figure in the scandal. He has an extensive history of associations with extremist domestic terrorist organizations. As a Republican congressional candidate, he paid a consulting fee to a member of the Proud Boys; he has also been close to the Christian nationalist Patriot Prayer group involved in violent street brawls in Portland; defended the white supremacist Nick Fuentes; and stated: “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with there being a white people special interest group,” during an interview with a group called the American Populist Union. In 2022, after Putin’s invasion of Ukraine, Kent called him “very reasonable”. When Kent ran for the House that year, after his ties to the far right were exposed, he claimed he had distanced himself from such groups. Kent was the deputy of the director of national intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard, on the Signal group.

Waltz joined in the Europe-bashing with talking points to buttress Trump’s zero-sum mercantilist view of the world, explaining: “Per the president’s request we are working with DOD and State to determine how to compile the cost associated and levy them on the Europeans.”

Vance broke in to say that if Hegseth wanted “to do it let’s go. I just hate bailing Europe out again.”

Hegseth agreed: “I fully share your loathing of European free-loading. It’s PATHETIC.” He added: “Question is timing.”

Enter Stephen Miller. “As I heard it,” he said, “the president was clear: green light, but we soon make clear to Egypt and Europe what we expect in return. We also need to figure out how to enforce such a requirement. EG, if Europe doesn’t remunerate, then what? If the US successfully restores freedom of navigation at great cost there needs to be some further economic gain extracted in return.”

The allies are not really allies; they are renters, and the rent should be raised

“As I heard it …” Miller spoke as if he were the only one to hear Trump. No one else said they had. Miller was definitive. He was more than the Trump whisperer. He was the voice of Trump.

Miller also chimed in on the chorus of contempt for Europe. It was as though Europe was the enemy. The allies are not really allies; they are renters, and the rent should be raised.

On 15 March, Hegseth returned with an “update” of precise details of the attack. “I will say a prayer for victory,” he wrote. It was a go. As it proceeded, Waltz chronicled the targets hit on Signal.

Susie Wiles weighed in: “Kudos to all – most particularly those in theater and CENTCOM! Really great. God bless.”

Waltz posted three emojis – a fist, a flag and a fire.

“Great work all. Powerful start,” said Miller. He was the one to give the praise. He apparently had the authority.

In Russia, Steve Witkoff, Trump’s envoy, responded with two prayer emojis, a flexed muscle emoji and two American flag emojis.

Afterward, Witkoff, a former New York real estate operator and Trump golfing partner, gave an interview to Tucker Carlson, the far-right podcaster who is highly influential with JD Vance and Hegseth, in which Witkoff said he “liked” Vladimir Putin, who was not “a bad guy”, “straight up”, and had presented him with a portrait of Trump to take home – “such a gracious moment”.

What the accidentally leaked war group chat reveals about the Trump administration

Proclaimed a “success”, the operation itself will do little to quell the Iran-backed Houthis, who resumed their missile attacks on shipping in the Hormuz Strait after Benjamin Netanyahu, seeking to maintain his fragile grasp on power, abandoned the ceasefire in Gaza, which Trump declared he “fully supports” after doing nothing to sustain it. Instead, Trump proposed turning the ravaged Palestinian territory into a beachfront property, a “riviera of the Middle East”. Trump shared an AI-generated video of himself and Netanyahu lolling on the beach with dollars raining down and half-naked dancing women. Trump’s policy, of which the Houthi strike supposedly demonstrates “success”, has further entangled the US in cycles of violence without any clear path forward.

As soon as Goldberg’s article appeared, the cover-up effort began. “I don’t know anything about it. I’m not a big fan of the Atlantic; to me it’s a magazine that is going out of business,” Trump said. “I know nothing about it. You’re saying that they had what?”

Republicans in the Congress stammered or were silent. At last, the senator Roger Wicker, of Mississippi, chair of the Senate intelligence committee, called for an expedited report from the Pentagon’s inspector general. Unfortunately, there is no such inspector general – at least not a permanent one. Trump fired him on 27 January along with 16 others across federal agencies and departments, without reason, contrary to the Inspector General Act of 1978, tightened in 2022. “I don’t know [the fired inspectors general],” Trump said, “but some people thought that some were unfair or were not doing the job.” For now, there is an acting inspector general.

The scandal might have been avoided if Hegseth could have consulted with the Pentagon’s legal authorities, the judge advocate generals. But he fired the top Jag officers of the army, navy and air force three weeks before the Signal group was formed.

Nor did Hegseth, or anyone else, apparently think to include the joint chiefs of staff, who just might have objected to the obvious sloppiness and illegality of the Signal setup. But on 21 February, Trump fired the chair of the joint chiefs, the four-star general CQ Brown Jr, the chief of naval operations and the air force vice-chief of staff. He had already removed the chief of the US Coast Guard.

Brown, the former air force chief, was the first Black person to head a branch of the armed forces. “Was it because of his skin color? Or his skill? We’ll never know, but always doubt,” said Hegseth in dismissing Brown. Adm Christopher Grady, serving as the acting chair of the joint chiefs, was not sent the invitation for the Signal group that Goldberg received.

To replace Brown, Trump has nominated a retired three-star general, Dan Caine, whom Trump insists on calling “Razin’ Caine”. But no one raised Caine to participate in the chat.

He might be grateful to have been ignored. Instead of the three-star general, Waltz mobilized three emojis.

· Sidney Blumenthal, former senior adviser to President Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton, has published three books of a projected five-volume political life of Abraham Lincoln: A Self-Made Man, Wrestling With His Angel and All the Powers of Earth

ATTACHMENT EIGHTEEN – FROM GUK

TOP US VACCINE OFFICIAL RESIGNS OVER RFK JR’S ‘MISINFORMATION AND LIES’

Dr Peter Marks was seen as a guardrail against any future politicisation of the FDA’s approval of life-saving vaccines

Stephanie Kirchgaessner in Washington Sat 29 Mar 2025 07.09 EDT

A senior health official in the US, who was seen as a guardrail against any future politicisation of the Food and Drug Administration’s approval of life-saving vaccines, has resigned abruptly, citing the health secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr’s “misinformation and lies”.

Dr Peter Marks served as the FDA’s top vaccine official. He had been lauded by Donald Trump during the US president’s first term for his role in Operation Warp Speed, the initiative that developed, manufactured and helped distribute the Covid-19 vaccines.

Multiple media outlets, including the Wall Street Journal and New York Times, citing people familiar with the matter, reported late on Friday that Marks had been given the choice to resign or be fired by a Health and Human Services (HHS) department official. He chose to resign. The FDA is a key federal agency within HHS.

In a resignation letter, referring to Kennedy, Marks wrote: “It has become clear that truth and transparency are not desired by the secretary, but rather he wishes subservient confirmation of his misinformation and lies.”

Marks also issued a stark warning, according to media outlets who obtained the letter, saying: “Undermining confidence in well-established vaccines that have met the high standards for quality, safety and effectiveness that have been in place for decades at FDA is irresponsible, detrimental to public health and a clear danger to our nation’s health, safety and security.”

The departure follows reports that Kennedy has turned to a noted vaccine sceptic, David Geier, to lead the HHS in a study of potential links between vaccines and autism. Any links between autism and vaccines have long been debunked.

Kennedy has claimed he is not anti-vaccine, but for years he has led a movement to sow doubts about their safety and effectiveness. In 2021, a group then led by Kennedy called for the emergency approval of Covid-19 vaccines to be revoked, saying: “The current risks of serious adverse events or deaths outweigh the benefits.”

Studies later showed that claim was inaccurate. A study by the Commonwealth Fund found that Covid-19 vaccines saved 3.2 million American lives and prevented more than 18m hospitalisations through November 2022.

During his confirmation process, Kennedy ultimately secured the votes of almost all Republican senators, including Dr Bill Cassidy of Louisiana, by promising that he would not change the FDA’s system for approving vaccines.

But that system was overseen by Marks, who has been with the FDA since 2012 and oversaw the division’s approval process for vaccines, biotech and blood products.

The Wall Street Journal reported a statement on the resignation by an HHS official: “If Peter Marks does not want to get behind restoring science to its golden standard and promoting radical transparency, then he has no place at FDA under the strong leadership of secretary Kennedy.”

Marks’s departure comes a day after the Trump administration said it was laying off 10,000 employees at HHS. In comments about the move posted on YouTube, Kennedy suggested his office was facing opposition inside the department from “defiant bureaucrats” who had stopped his office from gaining access to “closely guarded databases that might reveal the dangers of certain drugs and medical interventions”.

The Guardian has sought more information about Kennedy’s remarks but has not yet received a comment from HHS. Some experts have warned that Kennedy and other senior Trump-appointed health officials may seek to challenge the authorisation behind the Covid-19 vaccines. Kennedy also said in his confirmation hearings that he had been asked by Trump to study the safety of mifepristone, which is used for medication abortion and has already been extensively investigated for safety.

It is not clear what precise databases Kennedy was referring to in his YouTube statement. When pharmaceutical companies seek FDA approval for drugs they have developed, they disclose proprietary information, which the FDA keeps confidential. That includes information about manufacturing methods and clinical study reports.

ATTACHMENT NINETEEN – FROM THE BROOKLYN RAIL

THE PARADISE OF FOOLS

By David Levi Strauss February 23, 2025

It turns out that Trump’s blitzkrieg of extreme actions in the first month of his second term is not at all popular with the American people. A number of polls that have come out in the past week all agree on this. In most of these polls, Trump is now six points underwater in favorability, which is fifteen points under any other president in history at the beginning of their terms. Trump is the least popular president in the history of such polls.

In specific areas, the unfavorability ratings are even worse. Handling of Gaza: -40. Tariffs: -11. Cozying up to Putin: -72. Fan-boy Musk being given carte blanche: -12. People opposed to Trump’s blanket pardons of Jan. 6 perpetrators: 83%. In the Washington Post/Ipsos poll, 63% of Americans said they were concerned about their personal data being accessed by Musk and his unvetted minions.

And the favorability ratings in certain age groups are even more precipitous. Gen Z’s approval rating of Trump dropped more than thirty points in the first month of his term.

Trump does not have the support of the American people one month in, which means he’s probably going to have to use force at some point to maintain control, which will further increase the enmity and unrest among the people. And/or he’ll need to create a tremendous distraction. In these early days, the Trump administration has to move as far as they can as fast as they can, and then try to clean up the mess later.

What the Trump regime is trying to do domestically, as codified in the Project 2025 blueprint, is incredibly ambitious. In his State of the State address on February 19, Illinois Governor JB Pritzker pointed out that “It took the Nazis one month, three weeks, two days, eight hours and 40 minutes to dismantle a constitutional republic. All I’m saying is when the five-alarm fire starts to burn, every good person better be ready to man a post with a bucket of water if you want to stop it from raging out of control.”

On Friday, February 21, Trump purged the entire US military leadership, firing the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the Chief of Naval Operations, and the Air Force Vice Chief of Staff. In response, military specialist Tom Nichols wrote in the Atlantic, “Now that Trump has captured the intelligence services, the Justice Department, and the FBI, the military is the last piece he needs to establish the foundations for authoritarian control of the US government.”¹

These forces will be used against the American people when they rise up.

In these early stages, the response to Trump’s shock and awe campaign has been lackluster. Elected Democrats, for the most part, seem frozen in place, mesmerized by the flash. The courts, representing the rule of law, have moved too slowly to have much immediate effect. Checks and balances take some time to work, and in the meantime, a lot of damage can be done, especially by a reckless billionaire tech entrepreneur driving a team of young coders and hackers with a rage to break things and no idea what they’re destroying.

Big corporations, including tech corporations, hate and fear the federal government because it wants to regulate and tax them and limit their power. A billionaire taking a chain saw to the federal programs built to limit the power of giant corporations is of course popular with those corporations. But why would it be popular with citizens?

Since a lot of what Musk’s imagineers are destroying involves disproportionate aid to people in red states, the effects of these cuts are beginning to register with MAGA voters, and they don’t like it. Also, it turns out that about a third of all federal workers are veterans, so the jobs being cut by the DOGE interns are disproportionately affecting people who have served in the military.

This may all be eclipsed soon by what Trump is doing internationally. His mixture of utter incompetence and stupefying authoritarian arrogance is wreaking havoc with the post-war liberal world order. Trump has shifted his allegiances from our long-term allies in NATO and elsewhere to Putin’s Russia. He’s sided with Russia in its war of aggression against Ukraine and cozied up to other tyrants around the globe.

But the new centrist conservative chancellor of Germany condemned the support of AfD by Vance and Musk and vowed never to bring the AfD into a coalition government, and he has wondered aloud whether the US will remain a democracy under Trump.

Bannon and Musk flashing the Nazi salute is a signal to the fascist wing of MAGA in the US, making sure that they remain on alert and ready to fight if called upon.

David Levi Strauss is the author of Co-illusion: Dispatches from the End of Communication (The MIT Press, 2020), Photography & Belief (David Zwirner Books, 2020), Words Not Spent Today Buy Smaller Images Tomorrow (Aperture, 2014), From Head to Hand: Art and the Manual (Oxford University Press, 2010), Between the Eyes: Essays on Photography and Politics, with an introduction by John Berger (Aperture 2003, and in a new edition, 2012), and Between Dog & Wolf: Essays on Art and Politics (Autonomedia 1999, and a new edition, 2010). In Case Something Different Happens in the Future: Joseph Beuys and 9/11 was published by Documenta 13, and To Dare Imagining: Rojava Revolution, edited by Strauss, Michael Taussig, Peter Lamborn Wilson, and Dilar Dirik, was published by Autonomedia in 2016, and in an Italian edition in 2017. The Critique of the Image Is the Defense of the Imagination, edited by Strauss, Taussig, and Wilson, was published by Autonomedia in 2020. He is Chair Emeritus of the graduate program in Art Writing at the School of Visual Arts in New York, which he directed from 2007-2021.

ATTACHMENT TWENTY – FROM the NATIONAL REVIEW

TRUMP REMAINS THE UNDISPUTED RINGMASTER AT THE CARNIVAL OF FOOLS

By Jeffrey Blehar March 5, 2025 9:17 AM

I know that we don’t call the first speech the president traditionally makes to both houses of Congress at the start of their administration a “State of the Union” -- technically it’s just an address to a Joint Session of Congress. The reasoning behind this tradition is that most presidents don’t have much of note to discuss a mere month into their term in office, only a vision to set forth. But it’s fair to argue this doesn’t apply to Donald Trump -- not only because he is returning to office, but because it’s the first month of Trump’s second administration ...

PEANUT GALLERY

KMotamed

Hall of Famer

I don't disagree with Jeff often, but giving Trump style points for his narcissistic buffoonery doesn't make sense. The pathetic creep is basically begging for affirmation.

woke_is_smoked

Hall of Famer

I'd say more like "histrionic" than "narcissistic." You can look it up.

Jengenny

Hall of Famer

I have never voted straight ticket , I have always felt there are good and bad people on both sides . I was not thrilled when Trump was made the Republican candidate, I preferred others . After watching the disgusting display of a party that can’t clap for a child fighting brain cancer I can NOT find a decent democrat let alone one worth voting for so going forward I have vowed not to .

HobNobBob

Hall of Famer

The TDS is strong with this one. Trump is moving fast implementing what he promised, and the public is behind him. The idea that he didn't outline his goals and intentions in his speech is ludicrous. And the Democrats made fools of themselves. MAGA is strong and moving forward, leaving these Never Trumpers at NR behind.

JOELLENHOVIS

Rising Star

Oops! I stumbled onto joy Bahar’s page I guess.

LeagueMarshal

VIP

I guess the incoming fascist dictatorship can't be too big a deal, if all you need to resist it is a small signpost that says "no u".

ATTACHMENT TWENTY ONE – FROM THE NEW YORK POST

JAMES CARVILLE BLASTS JEFF BEZOS AS ‘F—ING FOOL’ FOR WORKING WITH TRUMP: ‘HE WILL NEVER EVER WASH THAT STENCH OFF OF HIM’

By Lindsay Kornick, Fox News Published March 28, 2025, 10:36 a.m. ET

James Carville attacked Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos as one of the “f—ing fools” who will be remembered in history only for collaborating with President Donald Trump.

During his “Politics War Room” podcast on Thursday, the Democratic strategist attacked Tesla CEO Elon Musk for what he believes is ruining his reputation as an innovator to work with Trump. This topic led to him calling out “similarly situated” billionaires like Bezos for willingly working with Trump.

“You had a chance to really be studied as a model by children in history books…I think you made a tragic reputational error,” Carville said.

James Carville attacked Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos as one of the “f—ing fools” who will be remembered in history only for collaborating with President Donald Trump.FOX News

“You have this tremendous economic power,” Carville said of Bezos (pictured). “You have tremendous influence in public opinion. You own one of the legacy, important media operations, and you’re doing nothing f—ing with it. You’re appeasing people.” WWD via Getty Images

Bezos, who also owns Amazon, has been criticized by progressives and members of his newspaper staff over the last few months for announcing changes to the Washington Post’s opinion pages.

Most notably, he prevented the editorial page from endorsing Vice President Kamala Harris in 2024.

He also supported the Trump administration financially by donating $1 million to his inauguration fund and has even said he was optimistic about Trump’s second term.

Carville also criticized Tesla owner, Elon Musk, during his podcast episode, saying that his ruining his reputation by working with President Trump.

While focusing heavily on Bezos, Carville comparing him to Porsche founder and German engineer Ferdinand Porsche, who helped construct weapons and tanks for the Nazi Party.WireImage for Vanity Fair

Carville echoed Bezos’ critics by insisting he was pandering to Trump and would be forever ruined by it.

“This guy’s not going to be remembered as the greatest retailer who ever lived, of which he is,” Carville said. “He’s going to be remembered as a collaborator. And he will never ever wash that stench off of him. I don’t care how much money he has. I don’t care how much power he has. I don’t care how many people he can terrify. It’s not going to happen. Dude, you’ve locked your place in history down.”

He added, “He’s going to look in the f—ing mirror. It’s coming. It’s around the corner. He’s going to live with his own legacy.”

Bezos (far right) supported the Trump administration financially by donating $1 million to his inauguration fund and has even said he was optimistic about Trump’s second term.

Trump praised Bezos’s work at the Post and revealed last week that he has been speaking with Bezos about having a working relationship.Chris Kleponis – Pool via CNP / MEGA

Carville made similar comments against Bezos in October for his decision not to endorse a presidential candidate.

“Basically, the argument is, ‘People don’t trust the press anymore, but I’m a billionaire, and people really trust billionaires.’ So – It was dumb on steroids and I think they were acting on the behest of Donald Trump,” Carville said at the time.

ATTACHMENT TWENTY TWO – FROM DISSENT

THE JIHADISM OF FOOLS

Fred Halliday ▪ Winter 2025

Over the last few years, and especially since the American invasion of Iraq in March 2003, there have been indications across the world of a growing convergence between the forces of Islamist militancy, on the one hand, and the “anti-imperialist” left on the other. Leaving aside widespread, if usually unarticulated, sympathy for the attacks of September 11, 2001, justified on the grounds that “the Americans deserved it,” we have seen since 2003 an overt coincidence of policies, with considerable support for the Iraqi “resistance,” which includes strong Islamist elements, and, more recently and even more explicitly, support for Hezbollah in Lebanon. In the Middle East itself, and on parts of the European far left, an overt alliance with Islamists has been established, going back at least to the mass demonstrations in early 2003 that preceded the Iraq War, but also including a convergence of slogans on Palestine—supporting suicide bombings and denying the legitimacy of the Israeli state. Last year, for example, radical Basque demonstrators were preceded by a militant waving a Hezbollah flag. Moreover, since most of those who oppose the U.S. action in Iraq of 2003 also opposed the war in Afghanistan in 2001, this leads, whether clearly recognized or not, to support for the anti-Western Taliban, armed groups now active across that country.

At the same time, some far left-wing politicians in Europe have sought, on issues of “anti-imperialism” and of social exclusion within the West, to find common cause with representatives of Islamist parties. An example of this is the welcome given by the British left, including the mayor of London, Ken Livingstone, to the Muslim Brotherhood leader Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi. More important, of course, and separate from support for Islamist guerrilla groups, has been alignment at the state level: Iran, for example, has received increasing support from Venezuela. Hugo Chávez has been to Tehran no less than five times. This partnership has been made all the easier by the shift noticeable over the past two decades whereby solidarity based, at least formally, on class or socialist grounds has been replaced by identity politics as the basis for political activism. Inchoately perhaps, a new international united front is being created.

This relationship of the radical left to political Islam has a long history, one that should give pause to those who now seek to form an alliance, however “tactical,” with Islamist movements and states. The early Bolsheviks tried to establish just such an alliance: faced with the blocking of the proletarian revolution in Europe after 1917, they turned to the anti-imperialist and sometimes Islamic forces then active in Asia. The first state in the world to recognize the Bolshevik Revolution was the monarchy of Afghanistan, then locked in a conflict with the British. As a result, Lenin gave instructions that Soviet Russia must always pay “particular attention” to Islam.

ATTACHMENT TWENTY THREE – FROM ALIBABA.COM (CHINA)

100+ HILARIOUS POLITICAL QUOTES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

By Emily / 26 March 2025 /

This article is dedicated to the amusing world of funny political quotes. Politics, often seen as a dry and serious subject, has a surprisingly humorous side that is often overlooked. Through these quotes, we not only witness wit and satire but also the often unintended comedic expressions from politicians around the world. Covering topics from elections to political rivals, this compilation brings light-heartedness to the otherwise heavy realm of politics. As we explore these quotes, we invite readers to enjoy the lighter side of political discourse and appreciate the universal humor found within it.

Election Season Quotes

· "Politicians are like diapers. They both need to be changed regularly and for the same reason." - Unknown

· "I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a Cabinet meeting." - Ronald Reagan

· "A political promise is one you keep or break to win votes." - Unknown

· "If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it." - Mark Twain

· "The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." - Winston Churchill

· "We've all heard of that politician who is a real zombie...every time they sink their teeth into an issue, they forget to chew." - Unknown

· "During a campaign, the air is full of speeches and vice versa." - Anonymous

· "Why do they call it a political race? Because the only place they’re running is away from their promises!" - Unknown

· "Politicians spend half their time making laws, and the other half helping their friends get around them." - Unknown

· "The problem with political jokes is that they get elected." - Henry Cate

· "In politics, the truth is strictly optional and often discouraged." - Unknown

· "An honest political speech can only be short because it doesn’t exist." - Unknown

Rivalry Quotes

· "I have noticed that politicians who can no longer face their peers in office often turn to writing books. Little do they know that fewer people read books than vote." - Unknown

· "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." - Groucho Marx

· "The opposition isn't expecting us, they're just hoping for a plot twist in the political season finale." - Unknown

· "A politician is a person with whose politics you don't agree; if you agree with him he is a statesman." - David Lloyd George

· "One has to belong to the intelligentsia to believe things like that: no ordinary man could be such a fool." - George Orwell

· "Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river." - Nikita Khrushchev

· "The only political fight worth having is the one that doesn't involve a public brawl." - Unknown

· "Comparing politicians to diapers: both should be changed often, and for the same reason." - Unknown

· "I don’t mind my rival saying bad things about me, as long as he doesn’t say them truthfully." - Unknown

· "In politics, your enemies can’t be reflected in what you find in the water cooler - only in the dictionary." - Unknown

· "Never argue with a politician. 'Victory' could be your downfall." - Unknown

· "Our political conversations would be much shorter if politicians understood each other half as well as they understand their voters." - Unknown

Leaders’ Gaffes Quotes

· "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t." - Margaret Thatcher

· "I'm devoutly against wanting other people to forget my blunders, particularly when I am running for office." - Unknown

· "A statesman is a politician who has been dead ten or fifteen years." - Harry S. Truman

· "I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end." - Margaret Thatcher

· "We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." - Aesop

· "When I’m good, I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad and in office, I get reelected." —W. C. Fields

· "In politics, stupidity is not a handicap." - Napoleon Bonaparte

· "I'd rather be honest than impressive, and I can be neither." - Unknown

· "He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career." - George Bernard Shaw

· "Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in fog." - Unknown

· "I'm unconcerned if my slip-ups happen. What concerns me is if they work." - Unknown

· "My political career was unintentional, but what a laugh it's been all the same." - Unknown

Foreign Relations Quotes

· "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock." - Will Rogers

· "In foreign relations, the worst thing about the not so subtle jokes is that they are often accompanied by demonstrations." - Unknown

· "Countries try to maintain peaceful relations by deploying diplomats who utter polite nonsense." - Unknown

· "Dealing with foreign diplomats is like trying to pet a porcupine without getting pricked." - Unknown

· "If countries were on social media, foreign diplomacy would be hitting that 'like' button and smiling while eating their last cookie." - Unknown

· "In politics, madness is the norm. Diplomatic success is just the cherry on top of the cray-cray cake." - Unknown

· "Diplomats lie for their country, but sometimes they just lie for a good laugh." - Unknown

· "It takes tact to smooth over foreign relations, but I bet even toddlers have more focus in a candy shop than diplomats in negotiations." - Unknown

· "Foreign ministers can't afford to be openly funny - it might break the fragile peace they’ve built on their jokes." - Unknown

· "For most foreign diplomats, their country's net gain from a negotiation is in inverse proportion to their cumulative travels." - Unknown

· "To err is human, to resolve diplomatically is divine comedy." - Unknown

· "In diplomacy, the greatest insult of all is to be taken seriously." - Oscar Wilde

Bureaucratic Quotes

· "A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants." - Harry S. Truman

· "The only thing more permanent than death and taxes is a new government department." - Unknown

· "I know that some bureaucrats exist solely to make our lives confusing; more compete with gardening shows on Sunday afternoons." - Unknown

· "Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status." - Laurence J. Peter

· "The less sense a bureaucrat's statement makes, the more impressive it sounds." - Unknown

· "The dreadlocks of bureaucracy: once it starts tangling, even Rapunzel can’t comb it out." - Unknown

· "In a bureaucratic world, you’ll never drive anywhere if you wait for all the lights to turn green." - Unknown

· "The worse a bureaucrat's handwriting, the more important their job is." - Unknown

· "I thought my file was lost, but then I realized it just joined a witness protection program." - Unknown

· "Bureaucrats are taught less about emergency exits and more about revolving doors." - Unknown

· "The greatest invention in bureaucracy is red tape. It's like stoplights for decision-making." - Unknown

· "You know you’re deep in bureaucracy when even your calls for help ask you to press one or stay on the line." - Unknown

Legislation Laughter Quotes

· "Laws should be like clothes; made to measure, so they fit perfectly for as long as possible." - Unknown

· "Good legislation is frequently nipped in the bud by the logic that being sensible is insensible to the opposition." - Unknown

· "Reading a piece of legislation is like chewing on leather - you grind on, hoping for flavor but left with only a dry taste." - Unknown

· "If you think nobody cares about you, try skipping a political committee meeting." - Unknown

· "Why do bills make bad investments? Because there are never any profits left after passage." - Unknown

· "Remember, a lawmaker is someone who starts a problem that wasn't there until the law was created." - Unknown

· "For every piece of legislation, expect an equal and opposite uproar." - Parody of Isaac Newton

· "Legislation is the art of saying 'I wrote this for your own good' without first checking if anyone agrees." - Unknown

· "In the land of laws, anyone who writes one can claim to be a king - but one must be wise enough to challenge it." - Unknown

· "Pass a bill today, and worry about its unintended consequences tomorrow!" - Unknown

· "Legislators are the world's supreme performers. See how they approve legislation with their eyes wide shut." - Unknown

· "Sometimes I think lawmakers are the original cast for a never-ending sitcom." - Unknown

Economic Policy Quotes

· "Ask five economists and you'll get five different explanations - six if one went to Harvard." - Edgar R. Fiedler

· "Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists." - John Kenneth Galbraith

· "Economic policy is simple: take everything complicated and make it sound impossible." - Unknown

· "The first rule of politics is to forget any math class past algebra." - Unknown

· "To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential." - Unknown

· "Blessed are the crafters of economic policies, for they will be misunderstood forever." - Unknown

· "‘Trickle-down theory’: like suggesting a leaky roof is a design feature!" - Unknown

· "An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today." - Laurence J. Peter

· "Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for a ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." - Sam Ewing

· "There’s nothing sinister in so simple a thing as a tax refund—the trouble is that most already spent it." - Unknown

· "The ultimate wisdom of economics: the only thing growing in a recession is worry." - Unknown

· "Governments have traditionally responded to economic crises like the ostrich: by burying their heads in an economics textbook." - Unknown

Speech Snafus Quotes

· "A politician's speech is like a baby’s diaper. The more full it is, the more they need to change it." - Unknown

· "George Washington was the only president who didn’t blame the previous administration for his troubles." - Unknown

· "When politicians speak, truth quietly exits the auditorium." - Unknown

· "Humanity will survive as long as they never need politicians' assistance to tie their shoelaces." - Unknown

· "In politics, effective sound bites do more than tablespoons of wisdom." - Unknown

· "Giving a politician advice is like teaching a hen to fly - they’ll ignore you, flap around, and miss the point." - Unknown

· "The real issue isn't whether politicians can keep a speech short, it's whether they can keep it honest." - Unknown

· "How do you a rationalize a politician's speech? Lower your expectations and buy earplugs." - Unknown

· "Most political speeches should get Oscars for Best Special Effects." - Unknown

· "A good political speech is something like a bear hug: warm, strong, and you can’t get out." - Unknown

· "The ideal speech has a great intro, a riveting ending, and not much in between." - Anonymous

· "A speech without applause offers a perfect opportunity to spot when an audience nodded off." - Unknown

Media Spin Quotes

· "Some journalists ask hard questions. Most prefer to practice an art form, called spinography." - Unknown

· "You can't believe everything you hear - that's what political advertisements are for." - Unknown

· "In politics, one should learn how to tell the truth strategically, like when only a small part is enough." - Unknown

· "The media will spin a sideshow thrill ride out of a stationary event." - Unknown

· "There's no rest for the wicked, nor the understudy news anchor post-election." - Unknown

· "Journalism is a subtle difference between reporting and speculating loudly with a microphone." - Unknown

· "The pen is mightier than the sword, but TV anchors work out more." - Unknown

· "Political coverage is mostly clever nonsense, like gossip at a celebrity party." - Unknown

· "Media and politicians share a secret tryst known only as 'tax breaks'." - Unknown

· "In the world of spin, what matters isn't what you say - it’s what you still have when the music ends." - Unknown

· "Political journalism is like gourmet cooking – but sometimes it's just overwrought spaghetti." - Unknown

· "A spin doctor sees clouds where there are puddles, and a mid-summer rain dance becomes a hurricane warning." - Unknown

Political Promises Quotes

· "Almost any politician is happy to promise you the moon, even while they debate the cost of a return ticket." - Unknown

· "A campaign promise is like a unicorn; majestic, admired, but ultimately a stick with a fancy sticker." - Unknown

· "A political promise often feels like hearing your favorite tune backwards: intriguing but ultimately just noise." - Unknown

· "There’s nothing more fleeting than the promise candidates use right after 'I’m in it for you'." - Unknown

· "Candidates offer change but spend the rest of their term counting bills." - Unknown

· "Breaking promises turns tobacco crops into pinocchio noses - the true cost of politics." - Unknown

· "A candidate’s promises followed me everywhere — even when I moved and left no forwarding address." - Unknown

· "Political promises are like selling beachfront property in Atlantis; all a pipe dream." - Unknown

· "A promise in politics isn't worth even half of the loopholes discovered before ink even dries." - Unknown

· "They say the road to political alignment is paved with good intentions - frequently it’s just bricks of empty proclamations." - Unknown

· "Candidates spend most of their time giving, but it seems to be only lip service they pass around." - Unknown

· "Politicians should list 'Olympic gold in promise juggling' in their resumes." - Unknown

Final words

The sphere of politics, intertwined with power, ambition, and governance, is often perceived as an uncharted land shrouded in seriousness. However, as showcased through this compilation of funny political quotes, there exists a realms of humor within politics. These quotes highlight the paradoxes, eccentricities, and absurdities embedded in political language, discourse, and actions. From candidate gaffes to media spins and the intricate dance of diplomacy, the humorous lens offers a refreshing perspective, revealing truth through satire. By dissecting these quotes, it becomes evident that humor has an uncanny ability to present deep insights into the political arena. Humor breaks down walls, draws attention to issues, lightens intense situations, and allows society to critique and understand politics in a more relatable manner. As we reflect upon these humor-clad truths, we are reminded that politics—like life—must balance weighty issues with lighter moments of laughter. Appreciating the lighter side might very well encourage a healthier political dialogue, where we recognize the shared human experience amidst the political theater.

ATTACHMENT TWENTY FOUR – FROM HOAXES.ORG VIA 1440

THE TOP 100 APRIL FOOL'S DAY HOAXES OF ALL TIME

We've researched the entire history of April Fool's Day and selected its top 100 hoaxes ever, as judged by creativity, historical significance, the number of people duped, and notoriety. The first version of this list was created in the late 1990s. Over the years it's been revised a number of times, based upon reader feedback and ongoing research. The most recent major revision occurred in March 2015.

Other April Fool resources at the Museum include: the April Fool Archive (a year-by-year archive of the entire history of the celebration), the Origin of April Fool's Day, the April Fool FAQ, and the Top 10 Worst April Fools Ever. Also, you can find more info about most of the hoaxes in the Top 100 list by clicking their title or thumbnail.

(The DJI has included only the Top Ten in this Lesson, to check out the other ninety, go here.)

#1: The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

April 1, 1957: The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best." Even the director-general of the BBC later admitted that after seeing the show he checked in an encyclopedia to find out if that was how spaghetti actually grew (but the encyclopedia had no information on the topic). The broadcast remains, by far, the most popular and widely acclaimed April Fool's Day hoax ever, making it an easy pick for number one. See More...

#2: Instant Color TV

April 1, 1962: Sweden's SVT (Sveriges Television) brought their technical expert, Kjell Stensson, onto the news to inform the public that, thanks to a new technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to display color reception. At the time, there was only the one TV channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white, so this was big news. Stensson explained that all viewers had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their tv screen, and the mesh would cause the light to bend in such a way that it would appear as if the image was in color. He proceeded to demonstrate the process. Thousands of people were taken in. Many Swedes today still report remembering their fathers rushing through the house trying to find stockings to place over the TV set. Regular color broadcasts only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970. More...

#3: The Eruption of Mount Edgecumbe

April 1, 1974: The residents of Sitka, Alaska woke to a disturbing sight. Clouds of black smoke were rising from the crater of Mount Edgecumbe, the long-dormant volcano neighboring them. People spilled out of their homes onto the streets to gaze up at the volcano, terrified that it was active again and might soon erupt. Luckily it turned out that man, not nature, was responsible for the smoke. A local practical joker named Porky Bickar had flown hundreds of old tires into the volcano's crater and then lit them on fire, all in a (successful) attempt to fool the city dwellers into believing that the volcano was stirring to life. According to local legend, when Mount St. Helens erupted six years later, a Sitka resident wrote to Bickar to tell him, "This time you've gone too far!" See More HERE...

#4: The Sydney Iceberg

April 1, 1978: A barge towing a giant iceberg appeared in Sydney Harbor. Sydneysiders were expecting it. Dick Smith, a local adventurer and millionaire businessman, had been loudly promoting his scheme to tow an iceberg from Antarctica for quite some time. Now he had apparently succeeded. He said that he was going to carve the berg into small ice cubes, which he would sell to the public for ten cents each. These well-traveled cubes, fresh from the pure waters of Antarctica, were promised to improve the flavor of any drink they cooled. Slowly the iceberg made its way into the harbor. Local radio stations provided blow-by-blow coverage of the scene. Only when the berg was well into the harbor was its secret revealed. It started to rain, and the firefighting foam and shaving cream that the berg was really made of washed away, uncovering the white plastic sheets beneath. See More here...

#5: San Serriffe

April 1, 1977: The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement devoted to San Serriffe, a small republic said to consist of several semi-colon-shaped islands located in the Indian Ocean. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital was Bodoni, and its leader was General Pica. The Guardian's phones rang all day as readers sought more information about the idyllic holiday spot. Only a few noticed that everything about the island was named after printer's terminology. The success of this hoax is widely credited with launching the enthusiasm for April Foolery that gripped the British tabloids in subsequent decades. More...

#6: Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity

April 1, 1976: During an early-morning interview on BBC Radio 2, the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced that at 9:47 AM that day a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur. Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, and this planetary alignment would temporarily counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment the alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, the station began receiving hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman reported that she and her friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room. Moore had intended his annoucement to be a spoof of a pseudoscientific theory that had recently been promoted in a book called The Jupiter Effect, alleging that a rare alignment of the planets was going to cause massive earthquakes and the destruction of Los Angeles in 1982. More...

#7: The Taco Liberty Bell

April 1, 1996: The Taco Bell Corporation took out a full-page ad that appeared in six major newspapers announcing it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial. More...

#8: UFO Lands in London

March 31, 1989: Thousands of motorists driving on the highway outside London looked up in the air to see a glowing flying saucer descending on their city. Many of them pulled to the side of the road to watch the bizarre craft float through the air. The saucer finally landed in a field on the outskirts of London where local residents immediately called the police to warn them of an alien invasion. Soon the police arrived on the scene, and one brave officer approached the craft with his truncheon extended before him. When a door in the craft popped open, and a small, silver-suited figure emerged, the policeman ran in the opposite direction. The saucer turned out to be a hot-air balloon that had been specially built to look like a UFO by Richard Branson, the 36-year-old chairman of Virgin Records. The stunt combined his passion for ballooning with his love of pranks. His plan was to land the craft in London's Hyde Park on April 1. Unfortunately, the wind blew him off course, and he was forced to land a day early in the wrong location. More...

#9: Sidd Finch

The April 1985 issue of Sports Illustrated revealed that the New York Mets had recruited a rookie pitcher named Sidd Finch who could throw a baseball at 168 mph — 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never played baseball before, but he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery. Mets fans couldn't believe their good luck and, accepting at face value the peculiarities of Sidd Finch's past, flooded Sports Illustrated with requests for more information. But in reality this amazing player only existed in the imagination of author George Plimpton, who had left a clue in the sub-heading of the article: "He's a pitcher, part yogi and part recluse. Impressively liberated from our opulent life-style, Sidd's deciding about yoga —and his future in baseball." The first letter of each of these words, taken together, spelled "H-a-p-p-y A-p-r-i-l F-o-o-l-s D-a-y — A-h F-i-b". More...

#10: Nixon for President

April 1, 1992: National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation revealed that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His new campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." Accompanying this announcement were audio clips of Nixon delivering his candidacy speech. Listeners responded viscerally to the announcement, flooding the show with calls expressing shock and outrage. Only during the second half of the show did the host John Hockenberry reveal that the announcement was a practical joke. Nixon's voice was impersonated by comedian Rich Little. More...

ATTACHMENT TWENTY FIVE – FROM YAHOO NEWS

NO, WARREN BUFFETT DIDN'T BUY TESLA, AND ALL THE OTHER APRIL FOOLS’ DAY JOKES WE’VE CAUGHT TODAY

Happy April Fools’ Day! Here’s what’s actually not happening.

By Katie Mather Tue, April 1, 2025 at 3:41 PM EDT

Yahoo is using AI to generate takeaways from this article. This means the info may not always match what's in the article. Reporting mistakes helps us improve the experience.

It’s April Fools’ Day, and while many people love to pull a prank on their loved ones, in recent years, the celebration has escalated to involve brands joining in on the hoaxes — and even some news outlets.

To keep you in the loop on what’s real and what isn’t, Yahoo News breaks down some of the new, viral pranks that publications, government social accounts and celebrities have put out there.

Warren Buffett did not acquire Tesla for $1 trillion in cash

Warren Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway did not buy Elon Musk’s Tesla for $1 trillion in cash, as GoBankingRates reported in a self-described “satirical” article published for April Fools’ Day.

The outlet joked that Buffett told investors, “While I’ve publicly maintained that I don’t understand tech companies, I’ve secretly been driving a Cybertruck around my Nebraska neighborhood at night.”

In reality, while Musk has publicly recommended that Buffett invest in Tesla, Buffett does not seem interested in the company. At the 2023 Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting, Buffett called Musk a “brilliant, brilliant guy” but added, “We don’t want to compete with Elon in a lot of things.”

The late Charlie Munger, Buffett’s former right-hand man and the vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, added at the time, “We don’t want that much failure.”

Tiger Woods is not playing in the Masters next week

Fifteen-time major golf champion Tiger Woods shared in a post on X this morning, “A few weeks after rupturing my left Achilles, the sleeping in a hyperbaric chamber plus the explosive lifts my doctors and trainers have me ready to play the Masters next week! Can’t wait! See y’all on the course.”

Woods cannot physically play professional golf again until 2026 at the earliest. Golfweek clarified that the only event Woods has planned for next week is the Champions Dinner at Augusta National.

Later, Woods wrote, “P.S. April Fools my Achilles is still a mess.”

DOGE is not sending $1 million stimulus checks to Republicans

The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) is not distributing $1 million stimulus checks to every Republican in the U.S., as GoBankingRates joked in another April Fools’ article.

DOGE is not sending stimulus checks to anyone, regardless of their political affiliation. However, both Musk and President Trump have claimed that DOGE has saved a lot of government spending since the group was established in January. DOGE’s website currently claims to have saved $140 billion, but a Yahoo News analysis found that only $35 billion in savings has been itemized on the site.

In February, Trump suggested that the administration was considering giving 20% of DOGE’s savings to Americans as stimulus checks. The proposal originally came from businessman James Fishback, who posted a four-page suggestion about a $5,000 “DOGE dividend.” Musk replied, “Will check with the President.”

It's unclear whether Americans will receive a stimulus check or dividend from DOGE's "savings" any time soon. According to the Associated Press, budget experts say such checks are highly unlikely.

New Jersey is probably joking about ‘Mount Jonas’

New Jersey’s official Instagram account shared a post this morning claiming that state officials had finalized plans to begin building Mount Jonas — a replica of Mount Rushmore but with the faces of the three Jonas brothers, Kevin, Joe and Nick, who grew up in the state.

"I approve this message," Kevin Jones joked.

Elon Musk is not giving free Teslas to members of Congress

No, Musk is not donating $43,000 Tesla cars to all 535 members of Congress today, as GoBankingRates jokingly reported in another article.

In reality, there is a growing number of public figures who are ditching their Teslas over Musk’s recent actions and involvement in the government, including Arizona Sen. Mark Kelly, a Democrat.

Trump, on the other hand, has promoted Tesla and, during a photo op outside the White House on March 11, announced he would be buying a Tesla himself to support Musk.

New York City is not instituting 1 mph walking speed limits

The official New York City government Instagram account posted a fake announcement that it would be implementing a 1 mph walking speed limit across the entire city.

“It’ll decrease pedestrian-on-tourist collisions and improve New Yorkers’ mental wellbeing,” the city joked in a caption on one of a series of photos in the post.

Duolingo is not cohosting a 5-year cruise

While the video advertisement for Duolingo's fake five-year Carnival cruise looks incredibly fun, it is not real at all.

But imagine visiting 195 countries with the app's famous green owl mascot, Duo, as the captain. What could go wrong?

Yahoo launches a Touch Grass Keyboard — and it’s a real gag gift

Yahoo is advertising an “over-innovated” product to poke fun at the ever-growing tech world. The Touch Grass Keyboard is advertised as a keyboard covered in real grass, an allusion to the internet joke about how chronically online people need to go outside and “touch grass.”

While a gag gift, it will legitimately be available on Yahoo’s TikTok Shop today!

PEANUT GALLERY

· rockinandrollinthe21stcentury

3 hours ago

San Francisco is implementing a new "Speed Safety System Pilot Program" designed to charge people different prices for speed tickets based on income in the name of "equity." Some people will get up to 80% discount on speeding tickets.

Actually, this is real.

· pointing out your hypocrisy

4 hours ago

my favorite so far is 'RFK Jr. knows how to handle health and human services'

2 replies

· Cordoch

1 hour ago

My favorite was that Yahoo announced that their users overwhelmingly like the new design of My yahoo!

· bobovino

3 hours ago

My fav was when a dj announced that the phone company was cleaning the lines by blowing air through them, so you were supposed to bag your receiver from 11 an to noon on April 1 1987. Station got sued and the dj fired.

2 replies

· There'sOnlyOneFlag

4 hours ago

The April fools joke has been going on since January 20th. Remember when he said he’d lower grocery prices on day one? Jokes on you America!

3 replies

· rosemary

1 hour ago

Trump is brillont , never lies , never insults people, never threatens people , always follows the law and loves this country yes even more than he loves himself .

· Torrian

2 hours ago

I remember when this used to be a huge deal online. Almost all of the big tech companies went all out with elaborate April Fools' gags. It's been a more muted affair lately. I get it. No time for jokes these days. NYC one was funny and well done though...

ATTACHMENT TWENTY SIX – FROM USA TODAY

APRIL FOOLS' DAY PRANKS: FROM POPEYES NEW PICKLE MENU TO YAHOO'S GRASSY KEYBOARD

Remember April Fools' Day as a kid and your biggest worry was having a 'Kick Me' sign taped on your back? These days you're more likely to fall for a fake product.

The early days of spring brings April Fools' Day, a day when brands and companies try to spring some goofy pranks on you – remember last year's “Baby Translator” app and 7-Eleven's hot dog-flavored water? There's a long history to April Fools' Day, a tradition that may date back to the 15th century. But these days it's mainly about getting attention for your product or brand – despite companies' gags occasionally backfiring; Volkswagen and Google, we are looking at you.

Why would a brand put itself out there on April Fools' Day? Well, it can pay off, says Guido Campello, co-CEO of lingerie and pajama brand Journelle.

The holiday "presents a unique opportunity for brands like Journelle to engage customers with a playful twist," he told USA TODAY. "By incorporating humor and cheekiness into our marketing, we can create memorable campaigns that stand out in a crowded marketplace."

Back in 2020, Journelle teased men's lace lingerie on April Fools' Day. Later in the year, the company began actually offering men's lingerie and it's become a top-selling category, said Campello, who heads Journelle with his wife and co-CEO, Dr. Sapna Palep.

This year, Journelle's foolish frippery is a new Mood-Matching Lingerie collection, intimate attire that changes color based on your mood just like a mood ring (yes, you can still get those). Not sure which colors tell if you are in the mood or not, however.

Journelle will promote the Mood-Matching collection on its website and app, social media channels, and in email. When customers click to explore, they'll get an April Fools' message and a discount off a purchase.

"This strategy not only attracts new consumers but also fosters a sense of community among existing customers who appreciate a brand that doesn’t take itself too seriously," Campello said. "It allows us to showcase our personality, turning the shopping experience into a delightful adventure."

Here's some more of the pranks looking to give you a laugh today.

Omaha Steaks' 'meat-cute' April 1 romance novel

The direct-to-consumer food purveyor last month said it was getting into the literary business, with the first of three planned romance novels, "Certified Tender," arriving in April. "Omaha Steaks is bringing its signature passion for quality and tradition into storytelling, crafting a narrative as rich and satisfying as its world-class steaks," according to the announcement.

Turns out it was a bit of a tease; there's not three books on the burner, but you can download the entire first book, "Certified Tender," for free on OmahaSteaks.com.

You can also take advantage of the $99 Meat Cute Collection, with a deal on a combo of Filet Mignons, Gourmet Steakhouse Fries, and a bottle of Drawbridge Cabernet Sauvignon.

From "South Patch Kids" to "Just PATCH Kids"

The infamous candy "Sour Patch Kids" announced on March 27 that they were now "JUST Patch Kids," changed their name on X, then had the ultimate identity crisis before announcing on April 1st that, actually, they truly are Sour Patch Kids.

"day 1 no sour. i am not losing it im doing great," the candy brand wrote on its official X account, before posting a poll for its followers to help find itself.

After facing the existential dread of understanding just who it truly is, South Patch Kids realized that would be "sour forever" on April 1st, and changed its name back to "Sour Patch Kids."

The perfect couch for wine lovers from Josh Cellars and Josh & Main

Oenophiles know it's inevitable – wine stains on the furniture. This April Fools' Day you can embrace the spillage with a new collaboration from Josh Cellars and furniture brand Joss & Main.

The collection of "stylish, modern couches and chairs with built-in wine stains" is perfect, the companies say, "because wine spills happen, so why not turn ‘oops’ into ‘ooh la la’ by making them part of the design?"

Spritz Society's new foolish flavor

Spritz Society, which makes wine-based flavored sparkling cocktails has a new concoction for April Fools' Day, the Grape By Manischewitz, a kosher spritz "sure to knock your yamaka off," the drink maker says.

This trick could turn into a real thing. Back in 2022, Spritz Society teased a Sour Pickle-flavored spritz for April Fools' Day and just more than a year later, actually partnered with Claussen on the real thing.

Reese’s new April Fools' Day bread for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

A "new" product coming from the makers of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: Reese's Chocolatey Bread. The chocolate-infused bread would be another way to experience two flavors – peanut butter and chocolate – together and, when paired with peanut butter and jelly gives you "the ultimate PB&J experience," the candy maker says.

Crunch bar's quieter candy caper

This new Crunch bar is quieter, so you can sneak a snack anytime. Supposedly, some consumers said the traditional Crunch bar, made with milk chocolate and crunchy rice, was too loud. So, the chocolatier is making a Crunch Lite bar, made with cooked rice instead.

"Now, fans can enjoy their favorite chocolate candy, in a much quieter way," the company said.

Stay the night with Nutella

Crazy about Nutella? Now – at least in your April Foolish dreams – you can build your summer vacation around it by staying at the Nutella BnB in Lake Placid, New York.

"Created for the ultimate Nutella fans, travelers can immerse themselves in a Nutella-shaped house with furniture, decor and everything in between representing the beloved hazelnut spread," the rental pitch goes.

A new tack for Tic Tac

Tic Tac has teamed with Dr. Pepper on a limited-time offer: Dr. Pepper flavored Tic Tac mints.

"Taste the blend of sweet, spicy and slightly fruity notes of cherry, cola and cinnamon and a unique pepper flavor," according to the description.

And the mints look like mini cans of the soft drink.

Curry and ice cream – together?

Feel guilty when you eat ice cream? Deep Indian Kitchen has some new flavors for you, letting you get your dinner and dessert simultaneously, with an April 1 lineup of limited-edition Indian Ice Cream Flavors including Chicken Curry, Chicken Tikka Masala, Spinach Paneer, Butter Chicken, and Chicken Vindaloo.

Baby gear delivered by drone? Yes, on April Fools' Day

Baby gear delivery service BabyQuip is expanding its services starting April 1 with its new Baby Gear Drone Delivery Service,” which transports all the baby items you need including diapers and snacks in less than 15 minutes.

Here's how it "works": How it works: Simply select the items you need, then set your address and watch for your delivery - 50% faster than any other delivery service, the company professes.

While the Drone Delivery Service is a prank, BabyQuip is a real company and you can get $25 off your order on BabyQuip's website through April 6 with the code APRILFOOLS.

This isn't the first case of April Fools' tomfoolery from BabyQuip. Last year, its “Baby Translator” app promised make parents' lives easier. "Say 'goodbye' to restless nights as you decode your baby's coos and cries instantly, providing you with the understanding you need as a parent, all in one convenient app," the punch line went.

Raising Cane's sauce as a facial?

Raising Cane's cooked up a special April Fools' application with beauty subscription service Ipsy – a new moisturizing sauce "inspired" by Cane's sauce.

Cardi B touted the Raising Cane’s x IPSY Moisturizing Sauce on Instagram saying, "Everyone always asks me how my skin looks so beautiful, so shiny, so amazing at the age of 32 with three kids, a job that stresses me out, and sleepless nights. I’ve been using this new cream – it’s the Cane’s ‘Moisturizing Sauce.’ It’s not greasy, not sticky, and it smells just like chicken.”

Also in on the joke: beauty blogger Raye Boyce, who got a facial with the sauce slathered on her face. "f your face mask tastes like Raising Cane’s sauce… it just might be," she said on Instagram.

Still, the fast-food chain says its sauce is really better used for dunking chicken tenders and slathered on sandwiches.

Tabañero hot sauce for your body

Hot sauce maker Tabañero wants lovers of spicy flavors to "protect their skin with the same care they give their taste buds" and has a new Tabañero sunscreen, made with aloe, green tea, and coconut oil.

There is a real deal, however. With Tabañero’s new Flavor Protection Program, you can get 50% off its Original Hot Sauce for every new flavor you try – among the options are Sweet & Spicy, Extra-Hot and Curry Habanero, all made with habanero peppers and agave nectar.

BodyArmor's new shampoo and Stanley Cup giveaway

BodyArmor is the official sports drink of the NHL, but it could be skating on thin ice with its new product: BodyArmor Sport Performance Shampoo, made "to hydrate, strengthen, protect, restore, and volumize hair," the company said on April 1.

The shampoo "is scientifically formulated to ensure the perfect balance of electrolytes and vitamins to meet the unique needs of athletes and support healthy hair care," especially hockey players' "iconic hockey hair."

Speaking of hockey, here's a real power play: you can go to the BodyArmor site where you can enter for a chance to win tickets to the Stanley Cup Finals.

Dude Wipes' new manscaping tool for your bum

Here's another interesting skincare "concept" from Dude Wipes and Manscaped – the Dudeman 2.0, a grooming tool for "down-there maintenance," the companies say.

The Dudeman has multiple heads for trimming, buffing and cleaning and uses WipeTech technology and has a suction cup base for … hands-free trimming.

No time to work up a sweat? No problem with new workout gear

Athletic apparel brand Set Active has a new collection of activewear for those busy days when you don't have time to work out but want folks to think you did.

The Wet Set collection comes pre-saturated with its proprietary H2SET technology, "ensuring you start your workout exactly how you’ll finish it: absolutely drenched."

The clothes are guaranteed to maintain wetness for up to 12 hours, however "results may vary based on local humidity levels and personal drip factor," the company said.

Duolingo's April Fools' Day trip tease: a 5-year Carnival cruise

Want to really immerse yourself in learning other languages? Duolingo is partnering with Carnival Cruise Line for a "first of its kind, five-year global voyage" that will have you speaking like a local at every port, "from ordering tapas in Spain to perfecting small talk in Japan," the language education provider says on the official booking page.

“At Duolingo, we help language learners prepare for real-world conversations. So we thought: what if we gave learners even more conversation practice through five years of full immersion, with no hiding from Duo the Owl?” said George Audi, Duolingo's head of global partnerships, in a press release dated April 1.

Once you've accepted the 5-year trip is a trick, you can take advantage of two real deals: a free month of the Super Duolingo language app and special offers on a much shorter Carnival cruise.

And you can order limited-edition Duolingo World Cruise merch – including shorts, shirts, towels and a Duo Owl plushie – in the Duolingo store.

Mini products hint at need for 5% plastic solution

April Fools' Day is about pranks and jokes, but that doesn't mean the gag can't have a message behind it.

Plastic-neutral retailer Grove Collaborative is debuting the 5% Collection, an assortment of its top cleaning formulas but in miniature form. Why only 5% the actual size? Because, only 5% of plastic is recycled, the company says. The rest goes to landfills, the oceans and the rest of the environment, breaking down into microplastics and nanoplastics that have been found throughout the human body.

Guardio's scam-sniffing AI nose device

Tired of worried about falling for an online scam? Cyber protection service Guardio has developed SniffGuard, the world's first scam-detecting nose. A highly sophisticated AI device, the $12 product has the "olfactory power of a thousand security experts," the company says.

"You never have to fall for a scam again," the company says in a video. And SniffGuard ($12.99) also has SniffGPT technology to learn new scams.

Yahoo's 'Touch the Grass' keyboard, available April 1

Just can't get away from your desk? Yahoo has a new productivity tool that brings a bit of the outdoors to your desk: the Yahoo Agricultural Interface, a grass-covered keyboard that allows you to "touch grass" without needing to log off.

The keyboard has "87 hand-placed tufts of turf" allowing you to "experience the great outdoors, and stay grounded, even when you’re at your desk," the product description goes.

"For April Fools’, we're playfully reminding the perpetually online that while Yahoo helps you accomplish your goals efficiently, sometimes the best innovation is stepping away from your screen to touch some actual grass," Sona Iliffe-Moon, Yahoo's chief communications Officer and acting interim chief marketing officer, said in a press release. "We believe in technology that enhances life both on and off the screen.”

The grassy keyboard actually works – it connects via USB and is fully functional – and Yahoo begins selling it at 1 p.m. ET Tuesday for $19.95 (the year Yahoo launched) on Yahoo’s TikTok shop.

Popeyes Pickle Menu: No April Fool, it's the real dill

Popeyes has an April Fools' Day surprise that started out as what looked to be a tease. Last week the fast-food chain posted a video on Instagram with pickle juice being mixed with lemonade and the message: We're in a bit of a pickle rn 🥒 4.1.25.

But it's no joke. Tuesday marks the arrival of the limited-time Popeyes Pickle Menu with dishes including the Pickle Glaze Sandwich, Pickle Glaze Bone-In & Boneless Wings, Fried Pickles, and of course, Pickle Lemonade.

“What started as a playful social tease has now become a full-fledged culinary reality – a Pickled Popeyes,” said Bart LaCount, the chief marketing officer for Popeyes U.S. and Canada, in a press release.

April Fools' Day deals and specials

A few companies are passing on pranks and giving their customers deals or specials:

· Burger King: Members of its Royal Perks loyalty program get a free order of any size onion rings with their purchase of $1 or more on Tuesday. Get the deal in the BK app or online. "There are no silly pranks attached, just pure deliciousness," the company said in a press alert.

· Dunkin': On Tuesday, you can win one of one million free Hot or Iced Coffees or Cold Brews of any size to members of the Dunkin' Rewards program; enter the promo code ThisIsNotAJoke in the Dunkin’ app, while supplies last.

· The Cheesecake Factory: Members of the Cheesecake Rewards loyalty program will want to check their account on April 1 for a special "No Joke" reward. Rewards range from a free slice of cheesecake with any purchase, or perhaps, one slice free per month for the next year. Other awards include a $25 dine-in credit, $10 off a $40 purchase and $5 off $25 purchase (offers good for dine-in, takeout, or delivery). Any new Cheesecake Rewards members who sign up on April Fools' Day will get the “Slice, Slice Baby” reward, a free slice when they buy one (good for dine-in or takeout).

· Oreo: You can save 50% on personalized OreoID cookies on Tuesday. Use code APRIL.

· Tacodeli: The Texas-based taco chain is really offering a one-day limited-time menu item on Tuesday, an April Fools' Day burrito ($12) made with refried beans, Mexican red rice, Monterey Jack cheese, sirloin, guac, pico, crema and Arbol salsa.

ATTACHMENT TWENTY SEVEN – FROM FOX

APRIL FOOLS' DAY IN POLITICS: ON APRIL 1, LAWMAKERS TRADE PUNCHLINES INSTEAD OF POLICY

President Donald Trump and Hunter Biden were frequent targets of Tuesday’s jokes

By Alec Schemmel Published April 1, 2025 4:35pm EDT

While private companies are taking advantage of April Fools' Day to market their products, politicians are using it to take jabs at their enemies across the aisle.

Colorado Democratic Gov. Jared Polis used the day to poke fun at President Donald Trump over his recent self-portrait snafu, while Republican House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer used it to take a jab at Hunter Biden's painting skills. House GOP conference Chairwoman Lisa McClain, R-Mich., chose to target all Democrats with her dig from the podium during a press conference Tuesday.

Polis put out a press release early Tuesday morning announcing he had unveiled a new official gubernatorial portrait to be displayed in the State Capitol. The press release included an image of the new "portrait," which was not actually a painting of the governor, but a caricature of himself.

"No one likes an unflattering photo or painting of themselves, which is why I went against the grain for my official portrait," Polis said in his announcement. His timing was right on cue, since, earlier in the week, Trump demanded a portrait of himself be taken down because he did not like the way it made him look, calling it "purposefully distorted."

"I’m pleased with the final product and want to thank the artists for their vision, and feel that I have never looked better," Polis said.

The press release included a photo of the caricature, which looked like a character from "South Park," along with various requirements he ostensibly gave to the artist who drew it.

"The Governor must be depicted directly facing the viewer. The Governor’s well-known signature look, specifically his signature blue polo, must not be altered. The portrait must utilize the bright blue hue of the Governor’s iconic tennis shoes. The Governor must be smiling or smizing," the list said.

Republicans got into the action too, with Comer sharing a sarcastic post on X, commissioning Hunter Biden to do some artwork for him.

"I heard Hunter Biden is facing financial hardship, so I decided to commission him to paint my official chairman portrait," Comer wrote in an X post, which included what appeared to be an AI-generated image of Hunter Biden painting a portrait of Comer.

"No favors from the Big Guy, I promise," he added.

Hunter Biden faced criticism during his father’s presidency — and amid an ongoing corruption scandal linked to his family — for allegedly leveraging his status to fetch high prices for his amateur artwork, with reported sales ranging from $75,000 to $500,000.

At a GOP press conference on Capitol Hill Tuesday, McClain got in on the action, too. However, her jab sought to target all Democrats, chiding them for lacking unity or a cohesive strategy for taking power back from Republicans.

"The Democrats, however, have found their vision," McClain said as she blasted the party for disrupting GOP town halls across the country. "The Democrats have found their leader. And the Democrats – oh wait, no April Fools'. I forgot it was April Fools' today. That was my attempt at an April Fools' joke. We know the Democrats have no vision, no message and no leader."

At the local level and on social media, a state senator from Michigan threw shade at Democratic Gov. Gretchen Whitmer for "playing politics" with a special election in the state, and, in North Carolina, the state's Republican Party created a graphic that referred to Democratic leaders in the state, including newly elected Gov. Josh Stein, as "April Fools."

ATTACHMENT TWENTY EIGHT – FROM THE HILL

WHITE HOUSE PRANKS JOURNALISTS ON APRIL FOOLS’ DAY

by Lauren Irwin - 04/01/25 9:32 PM ET

The White House played an April Fools’ Day prank on journalists inside the press room Tuesday.

Around 6 p.m. EDT, White House assistant press secretary Taylor Rogers announced over the loudspeaker that there was a “dinner lid until 8:47 [p.m.],” signaling an unexpected later night of work.

“You have a dinner lid until 8:47,” Rogers said in a video shared online by a colleague. “Enjoy your dinner.”

A short time later, she took the speaker again to say “Happy April Fools!” and the room exploded in laughter.

“Enjoy your evening and Happy Liberation Day eve,” Rogers said, pointing to President Trump’s April 2 tariff deadline.

It’s standard for members of the White House to play a light prank on its staff or the press pool on April Fools’ Day.

In 2021, former first lady Jill Biden dressed up as a flight attendant who wore a black wig and handed out ice cream bars to members of the media from a flight from California to Washington. As second lady, she once crammed her body into an overhead bin on Air Force Two and scared the person attempting to stow their luggage.

ATTACHMENT TWENTY NINE – FROM ADWEEK.COM

THE WEIRDEST BRAND STUNTS OF APRIL FOOLS' DAY 2025

Here's how Olipop, Dunkin', and Yahoo tried to prank their customers

When it comes to brand April Fools' stunts, the name of the game is weird (and sometimes gross)

By Brittaney Kiefer April 1, 2025

The origins of April Fools’ Day are mysterious, and historians haven’t been able to pinpoint exactly how the annual celebration of hoaxes began. But these days, it’s a bona-fide marketing tradition.

With numerous brands getting in on the joke each April 1, the name of the game is to grab consumer attention with weird, funny, and sometimes gross stunts. ADWEEK rounds up this year’s most unusual April Fools’ Day pranks from brands.

Olipop and Hidden Valley Ranch

Mmm, Garlic Ranch soda Olipop, Hidden Valley Ranch

Prebiotic soda brand Olipop has partnered with Hidden Valley Ranch for a limited-edition “Ranch Lovers Pack,” including soda flavors like the classic salad dressing and Garlic Ranch. While the products themselves are fake, the two brands sent creators real Olipop cans wrapped in the Hidden Valley Ranch branding to create buzz online.

Duolingo is a prank master—remember when it faked the death of its mascot Duo last month? Now, the language-learning app has teamed up with cruise line Carnival to offer the trip of a lifetime: a five-year global voyage at sea, complete with full language immersion, cultural exploration, and an “unreasonable amount of shrimp.” If cruisers don’t keep up with their language lessons—during each of the 1,826 days on the ship—“the owl will deny you the knowledge of eternal peace,” according to the video’s narration.

If five years sounds like a long time to be at sea, don’t worry—you could just opt for the free month of Super Duolingo, special offers on a shorter Carnival cruise, or a piece of the Duolingo World Cruise merch.

Yahoo

Touch grass, literally, thanks to Yahoo’s keyboardYahoo

In a world of endless meeting invites, video calls, and “circling back” over email, many people are looking for a way to escape the digital noise. With the Yahoo Agricultural Interface, you can touch grass—literally—without ever logging off. The tech giant’s grassy keyboard really works and is available to purchase on Yahoo’s TikTok shop for a limited time. The stunt reminds those who are chronically online to take a break and ground themselves.

Nutella

Imagine a vacation where you can immerse yourself in a Nutella-shaped house, complete with hazelnut and cocoa scented sheets, croissant pillows, Nutella pool floaties, a waffle maker, and a machine that dispenses the chocolate hazelnut spread. The brand teased the Nutella BnB, a home rental in Lake Placid, NY. But sadly for sweet tooths, the rental is not actually taking bookings.

Whisker

Welcome guests into your home with a candle that smells like a litter boxWhisker

Pet tech company Whisker, maker of the automatic litter box Litter-Robot, is offering a CAT PÙ / NO. 2 candle to anyone who places an order on April 1. While the candle promises a primal, litter box-inspired scent, it actually just smells like roses—a tongue-in-cheek nod to how Litter-Robot eliminates odors.

Dude Wipes and Manscaped promise to take men’s grooming to a “hole” new level (sorry). The two brands released a faux grooming tool, called the Dudeman 2.0, that claims to “revolutionize butt tech” with interchangeable heads for optimal trimming, buffing, and cleansing. The brands are calling it a “hole in one” (again, we can only apologize).

Mr. T’s Pierogies

Skincare, but make it dumpling themed Mr. T’s Pierogies

For your next self-care night, lather your skin in mashed potato face cream and kick back with a pair of mini pierogi eye patches. Food brand Mr. T’s Pierogies has released a fake pampering kit. Honestly, though? Pierogi skin cream sounds kind of soothing.

GlassesUSA.com

Look cute and also be able to clean your glasses at anytimeGlassesUSA.com

Hands up if you’ve ever struggled to clean your glasses and resorted to the corner of a T-shirt, which is exactly what you’re not supposed to do. But what if your whole outfit doubled as a cleaning cloth—and was fashionable, too? Enter the Microfiber Collection from GlassesUSA.com. Is this the next wave of athleisure?

Dunkin’

Dunkin’ knows some people have trust issues on April 1Dunkin’

After years of brands playing April Fools’ pranks, Dunkin’ recognizes that consumers may have some trust issues. Though Dunkin’ has gotten in on the joke before, this time around it’s skipping the tricks and offering a real deal. The brand will give away 1 million free hot or iced coffees or cold brews to Dunkin’ Rewards members who enter the code “ThisIsNotAJoke” on the app.

ATTACHMENT THIRTY – FROM MALWAREBYTES.COM

WHY WE’RE NO LONGER DOING APRIL FOOLS’ DAY

Posted: March 31, 2025 by Mark Beare

The internet is filled with falsehoods.

We’re forever investigating new scams here at Malwarebytes, and so we get how hard it is to know what—or who—to trust online.

There’s the scam that takes advantage of grieving people and tricks them into paying for a funeral live stream.

There’s the fake CAPTCHA that hijacks clipboards and tricks users into installing malware.

There’s the many, many, many scams that use Google ads to trick people into granting remote access to their machine, handing over money, or installing malware.

And we’re being tricked constantly by AI, take the Texan restaurant with its dino croissant and photos of Jeff Bezos at the bar. Or the scam that uses an AI replica of a loved one’s voice to trick a family member into handing over money.

It’s hard to know what to believe any day of the year online and so, while we used to participate in April Fools, it just hits different these days.

Especially when things go wrong when it comes to April Fools’ pranks. Last year a burger restaurant sent customers into a spin after sending them a fake order confirmation email, which led to customers fearing that their accounts had been hacked. All in good faith, but it no doubt hit a nerve for the affected customers.

So go ahead and order your Hot Dog Sparkling Water, eat your crust only pizza, or have a snooze in your banana sleeping bag. We love that. But as a cybersecurity brand we want you to feel like you can trust us—every single day of the year. If we say something is fake, then it’s fake. If we say it’s real, then it’s real. No exceptions.

ATTACHMENT “A” – FROM ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITTANICA

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY - SOCIAL CUSTOM

Also known as: All Fools’ Day

This article was most recently revised and updated by Amy Tikkanen Mar 27, 2025

April Fools’ Day, in most countries the first day of April. It received its name from the custom of playing practical jokes on this day—for example, telling friends that their shoelaces are untied or sending them on so-called fools’ errands. Although the day has been observed for centuries, its true origins are unknown and effectively unknowable. It resembles festivals such as the Hilaria of ancient Rome, held on March 25, and the Holi celebration in India, which ends on March 31.

How did April Fools' Day start?

Some have proposed that the modern custom originated in France, officially with the Edict of Roussillon (promulgated in August 1564), in which Charles IX decreed that the new year would no longer begin on Easter, as had been common throughout Christendom, but rather on January 1. Because Easter was a lunar and therefore moveable date, those who clung to the old ways were the “April Fools.”

Others have suggested that the timing of the day may be related to the vernal equinox (March 21), a time when people are fooled by sudden changes in the weather.

There are variations between countries in the celebration of April Fools’ Day, but all have in common an excuse to make someone play the fool. In France, for example, the fooled person is called poisson d’avril (“April fish”), perhaps in reference to a young fish and hence to one that is easily caught; it is common for French children to pin a paper fish to the backs of unsuspecting friends. In Scotland the day is Gowkie Day or Hunt the Gowk; the gowk, or cuckoo, is a symbol of the fool. On the following day (Tailie Day) signs reading “kick me” are pinned to friends’ backs. In many countries newspapers and the other media participate—for example, with false headlines or news stories.

Notable April Fools’ Day pranks

In what may be the first televised April Fools’ Day hoax, the BBC aired a segment in 1957 that featured spaghetti-growing trees in Switzerland. The broadcast claimed that the dreaded spaghetti weevil had been eradicated, leading to a bumper crop of spaghetti. The BBC even aired clips of people “harvesting” the spaghetti. CNN later called it “undoubtedly the biggest hoax that any reputable news establishment ever pulled.”

The BBC was back at it in 1965 when it interviewed a professor who had invented “Smellovision,” a new technology that allowed for the transmission of aromas through a television screen. Following a demonstration, numerous viewers called the BBC to confirm that they had detected the scents.

In 1996 Taco Bell announced that it had purchased the Liberty Bell and renamed it the Taco Liberty Bell. The restaurant chain claimed that the acquisition was to help with the U.S. debt. (The Liberty Bell is actually owned by the city of Philadelphia, though the National Park Service [NPS] maintains it.) The news upset many Americans, and the NPS was forced to hold a press conference that refuted Taco Bell’s claim.

In 1977 The Guardian newspaper printed a travel supplement on San Serriffe, an island republic in the tropics. The text was filled with printing and typesetting terms—from the name of the island (inspired by sans serif typeface) to the shape of the island (a semicolon) to the island’s dictator, General M.J. Pica (the last name was a reference to a unit of typographic measurement).

In 1992 NPR declared that Richard Nixon, who resigned as president in 1974 amid the Watergate scandal, was entering that year’s presidential race. The radio network said his slogan was “I never did anything wrong, and I won’t do it again.”

The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica

Table of Contents

Introduction

Early history

The Great Moon Hoax, the Cardiff Giant, and P.T. Barnum

The 20th century and beyond

References & Edit History

Country	Share of US imports	Tariff
European Union	18.5%	20%
China	13.4%	54% 34%
Japan	4.5%	24%
Vietnam	4.2%	46%
South Korea*	4%	26%
Taiwan	3.6%	32%
India*	2.7%	27%
UK	2.1%	10%
Switzerland*	1.9%	32%
Thailand*	1.9%	37%
Malaysia	1.6%	24%
Brazil	1.3%	10%
Singapore	1.3%	10%
Afghanistan	<1%	10%
Albania	<1%	10%
Algeria	<1%	30%
Andorra	<1%	10%
Angola	<1%	32%
Anguilla	<1%	10%
Antigua and Barbuda	<1%	10%
Argentina	<1%	10%
Armenia	<1%	10%
Aruba	<1%	10%
Australia	<1%	10%
Azerbaijan	<1%	10%
Bahamas	<1%	10%
Bahrain	<1%	10%
Bangladesh	<1%	37%
Barbados	<1%	10%
Belize	<1%	10%
Benin	<1%	10%
Bermuda	<1%	10%
Bhutan	<1%	10%
Bolivia	<1%	10%
Bosnia & Herzegovina*	<1%	36%
Botswana*	<1%	38%
British Indian Ocean Territory	<1%	10%
British Virgin Islands	<1%	10%
Brunei	<1%	24%
Burundi	<1%	10%
Cambodia	<1%	49%
Cameroon*	<1%	12%
Cape Verde	<1%	10%
Cayman Islands	<1%	10%
Central African Republic	<1%	10%
Chad	<1%	13%
Chile	<1%	10%
Christmas Island	<1%	10%
Cocos (Keeling) Islands	<1%	10%
Colombia	<1%	10%

Comoros	<1%			10%
Cook Islands	<1%			10%
Costa Rica	<1%			10%
Côte d'Ivoire	<1%			21%
Curaçao	<1%			10%
Democratic Republic of the Congo	<1%			11%
Djibouti	<1%			10%
Dominica	<1%			10%
Dominican Republic	<1%			10%
Ecuador	<1%			10%
Egypt	<1%			10%
El Salvador	<1%			10%
Equatorial Guinea	<1%			13%
Eritrea	<1%			10%
Eswatini (Swaziland)	<1%			10%
Ethiopia	<1%			10%
Falkland Islands*	<1%			42%
Fiji	<1%			32%
French Guiana	<1%			10%
French Polynesia	<1%			10%
Gabon	<1%			10%
Gambia	<1%			10%
Georgia	<1%			10%
Ghana	<1%			10%
Gibraltar	<1%			10%
Grenada	<1%			10%
Guadeloupe	<1%			10%
Guatemala	<1%			10%
Guinea	<1%			10%
Guinea-Bissau	<1%			10%
Guyana	<1%			38%
Haiti	<1%			10%
Honduras	<1%			10%
Iceland	<1%			10%
Indonesia	<1%			32%
Iran	<1%			10%
Iraq	<1%			39%
Israel	<1%			17%
Jamaica	<1%			10%
Jordan	<1%			20%
Kazakhstan	<1%			27%
Kenya	<1%			10%
Kiribati	<1%			10%
Kosovo	<1%			10%
Kuwait	<1%			10%
Kyrgyzstan	<1%			10%
Laos	<1%			48%
Lebanon	<1%			10%
Lesotho	<1%			50%
Liberia	<1%			10%
Libya	<1%	31%
Liechtenstein	<1%	37%
Madagascar	<1%		47%
Malawi*	<1%		18%
Maldives	<1%		10%
Mali	<1%		10%
Marshall Islands	<1%		10%
Martinique	<1%		10%
Mauritania	<1%		10%
Mauritius	<1%		40%
Mayotte	<1%		10%
Micronesia	<1%		10%
Moldova	<1%		31%
Monaco	<1%		10%
Mongolia	<1%		10%
Montenegro	<1%		10%
Montserrat	<1%		10%
Morocco	<1%		10%
Mozambique	<1%		16%
Myanmar*	<1%		45%
Namibia	<1%		21%
Nauru	<1%		30%
Nepal	<1%		10%
New Zealand	<1%		10%
Nicaragua	<1%		19%
Niger	<1%		10%
Nigeria	<1%		14%
Norfolk Island	<1%		29%
North Macedonia	<1%		33%
Norway	<1%		16%
Oman	<1%		10%
Pakistan*	<1%		30%
Panama	<1%		10%
Papua New Guinea	<1%		10%
Paraguay	<1%		10%
Peru	<1%		10%
Philippines*	<1%		18%
Qatar	<1%		10%
Republic of the Congo	<1%		10%
Reunion	<1%		37%
Rwanda	<1%		10%
Saint Helena	<1%		10%
Saint Kitts and Nevis	<1%		10%
Saint Lucia	<1%		10%
Saint Pierre & Miquelon	<1%		50%
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines	<1%		10%
Samoa	<1%		10%
San Marino	<1%		10%
São Tomé and Príncipe	<1%		10%
Saudi Arabia	<1%		10%
Senegal	<1%		10%
Serbia*	<1%		38%
Sierra Leone	<1%		10%
Sint Maarten	<1%		10%
Solomon Islands	<1%		10%
South Africa*	<1%		31%
South Sudan	<1%		10%
Sri Lanka	<1%		44%
Sudan	<1%		10%
Suriname	<1%		10%
Syria	<1%		41%
Tajikistan	<1%		10%
Tanzania	<1%		10%
Timor-Leste	<1%		10%
Togo	<1%		10%
Tokelau	<1%		10%
Tonga	<1%		10%
Trinidad and Tobago	<1%		10%
Tunisia	<1%		28%
Turkey	<1%		10%
Turkmenistan	<1%		10%
Turks and Caicos Islands	<1%		10%
Tuvalu	<1%		10%
Uganda	<1%		10%
Ukraine	<1%		10%
United Arab Emirates	<1%		10%
Uruguay	<1%		10%
Uzbekistan	<1%		10%
Vanuatu	<1%		23%
Venezuela	<1%		15%
Yemen	<1%		10%
Zambia	<1%		17%
Zimbabwe	<1%		18%
Heard and McDonald Islands	NA		10%
Svalbard and Jan Mayen	NA		10%